Do I have unfair expectations of my DH sending pictures of us to his daughter and worried about having them passed to the SD &SS
It's fine for DH to send the pictures of just him, but not me to his daughter. Yes, we have been married for 5 years, but I feel sending pictures to his kids of when we are on vacation only gives them fuel to say things like " you are spending all that money on great vacations but you don't give us more of what we want, when we want it" It seems to set myself up for a critique by the bio mom and SD. The SK'S are 24 and 30. Very judging....so my husbands point of view is "he can send the photo's of what he wants" "that It's not for me to decide" That if I want to be a part of his Daughter's life yet I don't want to sent the photo's..My thought is you can send all the photo's you want but that's not going to make her connect with me anymore than before..Somehow he thinks it will.....I am sure she forward's them to her bio mom and bio brother...1/2 brother than is.. and who know what they say???..so both kids have picked the bio mom's side over their father...thay get more for siding with the mom...money that is...she gives them anything they want....she has not re- married or moved on...she lives through her kids....really sad....so what's wrong with me asking for photo's not to be sent of me unless I like the photo of myself....He says I don't get that right??????? He sends them without me knowing.....just by accident do I find out.
PS I got married for the first time at 47 and have no kids myself.....just thought I am trying to be fair with all the info..........any thoughts?? AM I being fair?????
The SD talks to her mom first thing in the am, her lunch break and then 4-5 times in the evening...she's 24 and seems to over connected to her mom. Protecting her I suppose and her mother feeding into her daughter needed her...seems like a weird relationship to me....too much connection with mom to me!
Is the issue him sending of
Is the issue him sending of pictures of you that you don't like, or the fact that vacation pictures are "not helping" your relationship with the skids? If it is the latter, then I actually think that your husband is right in not worrying about fueling their selfish behavior, as far as you guys going on vacation. It may not help, but if that is how they are, then nothing will really help. Many women here have husbands that are worried about their kids and how they take things...so I think him not giving a hoot...is a good thing.
If it's the pictures of you that you don't like, I don't blame you for wanting to pick the ones you like!
Did I misunderstand your post?
Well, let me add this. If it
Well, let me add this. If it matters to you, then it should matter to him. Instead of dismissing your concerns, he should help you see how sending pictures may be inconsequential to how the skids feel about you.
you are right on....it's the
you are right on....it's the feeling dismissed part I feel. He took it to "there's another example of you and STEP DAUGHTER not getting along" when I know she could care about seeing pictures of me...if she won't email me or call me why would she want to see pictures....he said that he did not want to wait to send out the pictures with my approval..that sounding controlling..controlling to me is him forcing them thru without me help picking out the onces to send.....He always says he feels in the middle, yet he feeds into all her stuff, gives her money and let's her treat him like shi_. Hard to like someone that does that to there dad...if he is OK with it I am suppose to be OK with it......
Nobody gets pictures of me,
Nobody gets pictures of me, much less his kid that could be passed on to the witch...for the same reasons you mention and for the fact that I don't like people who don't like me having pics of me. Period. End of story.
I can totally understand your
I can totally understand your wanting to view them to make sure you like them first. I HATE having my picture taken PERIOD. If I do wind up in one, I view it and if I don't like it, it gets deleted.
If he's not going to respect your wishes about at least viewing them first, don't let him take any more of you.