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Dislike step kids and 1 is jealous of our daughter

bushmummy's picture

Submitted by bushmummy on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 2:25am

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Have been with my partner 4 years and we have a 1 year old daughter. My partner has 2 children from a previous relationship, a boy who is 8 he has aspergers and a girl aged 4. We have them every other weekend and i dread when they come to the point im in an instant bad mood. They are the most spoiled demanding children i have ever meet! The boy is naughty, manipulative and cant do anything for himself. He has to have everything everyone else has and is very disrespectful to me and his father or any one else that says something he may not like. It is so hard for me to be nice to them. the little girl is manipulative as well and constantly follows her dad around wanting his attention she whinges and crys constantly and cant stand when my partner shows any attention to our baby, she yells at the baby and tells her to shut up if my partner is holding the baby she wants him to put her down or she makes an excuse to get him to ,like daddy i want a drink or so on and so on she still sucks her thumb and it drives me nuts the child is nearly 5 for gods sake! She cant dress herself or do anything for that matter she wants daddy to do everything for her. If i ask them to do anything they say they need to speak to daddy and then they dont have to do as they are told they have no disipline and when they get away with something which is all the time they then look at me with an evil smurk they are doing my head in. Im also worried for the saftey of our little girl , when she was 5 months old the boy kicked her across the room in one of his rages and the other day i caught the girl kicking her what do i do any suggestions please!!!!!!

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 9:55am

The kid should be punished for kicking the baby.

SM should be able to punish, just not put her hands on the kid.

SM punishing my kid by taking something away or time out great. SM hitting my kid?? Hell no. Son's SM knew that.

qtpie568's picture

Submitted by qtpie568 on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 8:25pm

I don't believe sparents should really punish the kids. Simply because you aren't their actual parent. However, I would absolutely draw the line at them hitting the baby. Even if the baby wasn't yours and it was another of your schildren, I wouldn't allow it if I were you. Next time it happens Pick them up and stand them in the corner. I doubt they will stay there at first so keep putting them there until they STAND there for 4 or 8 minutes (depending on which kid it is). Keep it up until they do it. DON'T give in, and make them STAND there. Do NOT let them sit. Make them face the corner and don't have TV or radio on in the room. I would rather get a spanking than have to stand in the corner as a kid. If your husband makes a fuss tell them that you allow him to handle the punishment in all other areas, but you will not under any circumstances allow them to abuse or hurt that child, and you would expect him to do the same.
If you can't get them to stop LEAVE! This isn't advice that I would usually recommend, but if they're treating an infant like that, you can't risk your daughter's safety.

lovechild11's picture

Submitted by lovechild11 on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 10:16am

I also feel this same way about my step daughter. My bio daughter from a previous reltionship is bossed around and talked down to by the SD. She needs attention all of the time and can never just leave my boyfriend alone for 2 seconds!!! It's so frustrating and I hope you can get through it. The abusive part towards your baby together just cannot be happening though! I would not be able to spank my SD just because I would feel out of line but your husband definately needs to speak to them on a very direct level. I have swatted my daughters butt before but am not sure I really believe in punishing physical violence with physical violence. Good luck
!