Some background information in short...my BF and I have been friends for close to 12 years, and friends is all we were until several months ago. He worked with my ex husband and I went to school/acquaintances with his soon to be ex wife. The 4 of us were friends for awhile until I found out my husband was cheating on me and he disbanded from our group of friends. While dealing with the pain & frustration of finding out about my husbands cheating, I found out my BFs wife was cheating on him as well. At this time they had one child together and I spent the majority of my time with him. I chose not to inform him of his wife's infidelity. I didn't want to be the cause of a broken home, make him upset with me when she said I was lying...which she said she would do when I attempted to speak with her about it. I chose to walk away from the friendship as a whole, and she promised to stop cheating on him. In this period of time he was in Basic training and the MP schooling...away from home for several months.
About a year later he was deployed over seas, prior to his deployment we had ran into each other a few times and their relationship seemed to have improved but I still had trouble facing a "friend" knowing that I was lying to his face. 1 month into his deployment, at this time...with 2 child & his wife back here in the states and his biggest concern is staying safe to come home to them; he calls home to check in & his world falls apart in his face. She had moved another man into their material home, he was raising his children, wearing his clothes & guess what...she was pregnant with the other guys baby. Great way to start a deployment.
After returning home 18 months later, he came home to nothing. He had no place to live, no clothes, no belongings, no wife, and she refused to let him see his children. All during this time period I talked to him via the internet & tried to encourage him to keep his head up and make it home for his babies.
After 2 years of busting his tail end to make ends meet, fighting to see his children, trying to mend his marriage (she wanted nothing to do with him), fighting to get his life on track and making himself feel whole again; there was a spark between us. Not sure exactly what happened to turn the pages from a friendship into a relationship, but it's amazing. We get along great, our relationship is strong, the children love me and everything is great. That is...until the devil sticks her nose into everything!
He was finally able to get her to agree to following the court appointed parenting scheduling per the child support agreement, (after not seeing the kids for over 4 months!!!) and she keeps changing the schedule. One minute we have the children on Monday & Wednesday and then the next week it's Tuesday & Thursday. Then we'll be scheduled to have the kids this weekend, and then she decides she's taking the kids out of town. Needless to say, our visitation has been limited. The children are a mess! They cry and plead to stay at our house. They tell us they don't want to go back to Mommys...they want to live with us. They like me because I'm nice and don't yell at them all the time.
Most recently we had the children for an evening visitation and the youngest proceeded to sleep the whole evening, despite every attempt we could to wake her up. The older child informed us that Mommy kept waking her up because Daddy didn't deserve to spend time with her. Really? That's not okay!
The oldest child...8 going on 16, still pees the bed, unless he stays at our house. You tell him he can go outside & play and he wont go without making sure the youngest child is being cared for. The 8 year old is more of a parent than the mother is. The poor children are ignored, left alone at their Moms house...the only form of socialization they receive is each other. They are so attention starved that when they get to our house...the 2 of us can barely keep up with them. They are fighting over our laps, fighting for us to play with them and tell us a million times through a 2 hours visit how much they love us and don't want to ever have to go home.
Mom regularly informs that kids that Daddy doesn't love them, Daddy doesn't want to see them, it's Daddy fault that they aren't a family anymore, it's Daddy fault they have to move. (She is being evicted out of their marital home because she hasn't made a house payment since the beginning of his deployment...obviously not using the child support for a roof over the children head!) Everything is their Daddy or myself fault.
Anytime she tries to change the visitation, especially if there is a real reason that we can't do it...work, military obligation, ect...she throws a fight & says that he can't see the children anymore. The children are pawns to her...even when she "has the kids" she never truly has them...she drops them off at her Moms house. Where they smoke in the house, smoke weed around the children, have a pitt bull that regularly bites the youngest child & they just laugh, and the house is so dirty that you can see bugs crawling around.
As if all this wasn't bad enough...she continually attempts to cause issues in our relationship. She refuses to give him a dissolution or divorce because she isn't ready yet. (Maybe she should have thought about that over 3 years ago when she moved another man into their house & got pregnant by him?!?!) She says that if he files she will move and take the kids with her and he'll never see them again. My BF will stand up to her a little, but really wont stand up too much because he lives in fear of her taking the kids away completely from him. She is constantly causing some kind of issue, saying nasty things about my BF & I, sending me nasty messages on fb...to the point that I had to block her. She blows up his phone while he's working, shows up at his work if he doesn't answer her calls, shows up at our door step, ect. She haunts our lives and I'm tired of my life having to revolve around her to be able to see the kids.
Help...before I completely loose my mind & pull out all my hair!!!!!!!!!!!