Need Help. Potential Child Abuse Situation.
If you read my previuos entry earlier this week it was about BM's BF emotionally abusing FSD(6).
Here's where I need some advise or at least some feedback. FSS(4) went to stay with his SO's parents the whole week before 4th of July weekend. We drove over to their house for the weekend to attend a wedding and to pick FSS up. SO's mother pulled me aside and told me that FSS had told her that BM's BF hits him. I brought this up to SO and he had a chat with his son about it. When we had them the next time FSD(6) told SO that he's mean to her little brother and yells at both of them. SO sent an email and BM of course denied it. So this week when SO picks them up on Monday for their week stay with us FSD told SO that this guy told her that he doesn't want her as a daughter, which is a horrible thing to say to a 6 year old, and the he pushed her brother down. FSS told SO that he also has pulled his hair. SO sent an email telling BM that this has got to stop or else he will be forced to do something about it. BM of course as usual denies the physical abuse and states that the kids had a hard time adjusting when I moved in. Maybe they did but they sure as hell weren't running around telling her that I was abusing them an any way. So she now wants her, her BF, my SO, and the kids (funny that I am not included in this meeting) to sit down so that SO can tell her how SO and I have managed the blended family thing. Not going to happen. SO is not about to sit down with a guy that his kids are accusing of emotional and physical abuse and give him parenting tips. Plus he hates his ex. She spent the first year of our relationship stalking SO and trying to ruin out relationship plus many other things. He told her that both him and I agreed that was not our place.
Here's where the dilema is. I know what I would do if my ex had our daughter and she came home telling me the same things that this kids are saying. I would contact him and if it continued to happen I would call CPS and have them check it out. Being a parent I am obligated to protect my child. I think that the same should be done with SO's kids if they both keep coming home and saying these things. They are to little to protect themselves and regardless of whether or not they lie about things, which all kids do, aren't we supposed to do something about it? If they told these stories to a teacher at school they would have to do something.
I worked for CPS for 5 years.
I worked for CPS for 5 years. If you think there may be a problem, CALL! period. DO NOT RISK the lives of the children. If they are lying and there is nothing wrong, CPS will sort that out. If there is, you may have saved the lives of the children of your husband. You do NOT have to tell them who you are, how you know them, or any other information that may link you to the call. The caseworker can NOT tell the BM who made the call or any other information. Now because you have to tell them what the children say, it might be easy for them to guess it came from your camp but if the children are telling their grandparents, its likely theyve told more than just you and your husband about it. I don't suggest doing it behind your husband's back. Just lay the facts out for him. PLEASE do not let another child suffer. Every day a child in this country dies from abuse and there's always been someone who could have stopped it.
Oh BM will know for sure that
Oh BM will know for sure that it was us. Who knows what her retaliation will be towards SO. She's quite the evil person.
I believe these kids. There is no reason to lie about it and both of them are saying the same things. We have given BM her final warning in an email that we sent last night. If they come home again complaining of abuse in any form coming from this guy I am hoping that SO will do the right thing and make the call. Even if ends up not being true, is it worth the risk? This guy has only lived with these kids for like two months now and if he displaying this type of aggression towards them it's only going to get worse.
Every moment for a child in
Every moment for a child in an abusive home has the potential to be his last. I've had to answer the call too many times. I once had a step dad who felt "something wasnt right" call me. We sent out a caseworker and the police. The 4 yr old girl was duct taped to the towel rack in the bathroom naked and bloody all over. The bio dad's brother was a sex offender and had moved in without anyone informing the mom. The call was made on a hunch and not a moment too soon. Have you done an offenders search on this person? Some states have a child abuse as well as sex offender register. Certainly google his name.
We already have several
We already have several emails going back over the last 5 weeks where SO has had to email her something that one of the kids has said about this guy. She always denies all of it of course but everytime we get them for our week they are telling us these things.
SO's not affraid of BM. At least not anymore. He knows what will have to be done if they continue to come home and tell us these things. He has warned BM that this needs to be handled. No more warnings. The fact that it's happening every week that we get them and both of them are stating the same things is a huge red light. There's no way that the 2 of them came up with this idea together. FSS(4) can barley remember what was just said to him 2 seconds after you say it.
Exactly..... I agree with you
Exactly..... I agree with you 100% I had to call CPS not once but twice. I figured I would rather call n let them find out that it was false then to not call and have my SD end up in the hospital or worse the morge because of the stuff that she said was happening....
I agree wiht Echo...I mean
I agree wiht Echo...I mean come on this is abuse plain and simple...call the Police and CPS and they will make sure the children stay with you until all is sorted out..
You have no excuse not to call....CALL THEM ASAP....
Z