I think my boyfriends ex has an attachment disorder, courtesy of her mother, who raised her horribly. She and my bf were very young when they met, and I don't think he realized that she was only with him to support her-her mother taught her that the man is the paycheck, and nothing more. My bf's ex was essentially raised by a disaffected, lousy mom who encouraged her to find a man to support her. Additionally, my bf's ex took drugs for awhile before meeting him, and her brain was somewhat fried.
He was at a shitty place in his life when he met her, and I think he needed to rescue her, and for a long time, he felt that way, until he realized how awful she is.I think if he had been thinking more clearly, he would have run. She was very childlike when he met her, appearing really cute and sweet on the outside, but cunning and cold on the inside. This "woman" has no emotions, only anger and hatred when the world doesnt revolve around her. If she needs money, she becomes extremely hostile. She refuses to work, though.
Unfortunately, my bf's choice to have three children with her resulted in 3 young adults who are mini versions of their mother. In some ways, I think they are worse. It is disgusting and sad. My bf and his ex were separated more than they were together, but she always had control of him. He didnt make her mentally ill, but he ignored many signs and enabled her a lot along the way. He should have left permanently, long before he did. Her own aunt says that he escaped a prison when he left his ex.
Obviously, every case is different. I know that there are women whose ex's made them extremely anxious, depressed, and worse. My own stepmother was in a horribly abusive relationship with her children's dad. I would never blame all the BM, but at the same time, I see all the stories on here, so I know there are stepmoms who never had a chance. In my case, my bf's kids hated me before I came into the picture, and they will always hate me. Their mother trained them well. I didnt have a chance. My mom and dad divorced when we were young, and my dad didnt meet my SM until I was in my early 20s, but I know my mom would have not caused the problems like we see on here. When he was dating, there were no problems with my mom. I have family members with step children, and again, no problems. I am blessed for seeing that.
At the end of the day, I do feel that a lot of our SO's and husbands probably saw signs of mental illness in the BMs, but ignored it or didnt understand it. Or thought it would go away...
LOL While I can see why you would feel this way...BM Redneck ran to the safety of lesbia & was there for a good 8 years...she's back to straightville again (been here for about 6 years)...we'll see which one she ends up with at the end of the day.
Even though she resided in lesbia she was & is a complete loon...I've been told she was an idiot since childhood so SO can't really be blamed for her lunacy...
BM Nasty was a whore before SO & she has proven to be a whore after SO...so again...he can't really be blamed for that one either.
My XH however...I completely relate to HIS crazy bitch of an X/BM!
I'm pretty sure BM has BPD, which I like to think of as, "stuck emotionally at the level of a 6-yr-old."
I'm thinking that complete self-absorption and moods swings aren't as noticeable in a 19-yr-old, especially to an also self-absorbed 22-yr-old. So BM looked pretty "normal" to DH when he married her. I'd hate to think he was attracted to crazy.
Now, when that same BM is 37 and she behaves with less maturity and shows fewer reasoning skills than her 15-yr-old... that makes it REALLY obvious that something isn't quite right.
I'll agree that true crazy is genetic, but luckily DH's kid didn't get it.
I was actually thinking the same thing.....my DH's 'booty-call' and I say that because they weren't dating, in a relationship and good god, he didn't marry her....but she is classified as having manic depression and bi-polar....No wonder why my SD15 is the way she is....look at her mother!!!
No, we aren't lying. Interestingly however, I feel that I should be having mental issues - dealing with my SD15 and her BM. She can claim she's bi-polar and depressed. I've been DEPRESSED since I met your daughter!
I think my boyfriends ex has
I think my boyfriends ex has an attachment disorder, courtesy of her mother, who raised her horribly. She and my bf were very young when they met, and I don't think he realized that she was only with him to support her-her mother taught her that the man is the paycheck, and nothing more. My bf's ex was essentially raised by a disaffected, lousy mom who encouraged her to find a man to support her. Additionally, my bf's ex took drugs for awhile before meeting him, and her brain was somewhat fried.
He was at a shitty place in his life when he met her, and I think he needed to rescue her, and for a long time, he felt that way, until he realized how awful she is.I think if he had been thinking more clearly, he would have run. She was very childlike when he met her, appearing really cute and sweet on the outside, but cunning and cold on the inside. This "woman" has no emotions, only anger and hatred when the world doesnt revolve around her. If she needs money, she becomes extremely hostile. She refuses to work, though.
Unfortunately, my bf's choice to have three children with her resulted in 3 young adults who are mini versions of their mother. In some ways, I think they are worse. It is disgusting and sad. My bf and his ex were separated more than they were together, but she always had control of him. He didnt make her mentally ill, but he ignored many signs and enabled her a lot along the way. He should have left permanently, long before he did. Her own aunt says that he escaped a prison when he left his ex.
Obviously, every case is different. I know that there are women whose ex's made them extremely anxious, depressed, and worse. My own stepmother was in a horribly abusive relationship with her children's dad. I would never blame all the BM, but at the same time, I see all the stories on here, so I know there are stepmoms who never had a chance. In my case, my bf's kids hated me before I came into the picture, and they will always hate me. Their mother trained them well. I didnt have a chance. My mom and dad divorced when we were young, and my dad didnt meet my SM until I was in my early 20s, but I know my mom would have not caused the problems like we see on here. When he was dating, there were no problems with my mom. I have family members with step children, and again, no problems. I am blessed for seeing that.
At the end of the day, I do feel that a lot of our SO's and husbands probably saw signs of mental illness in the BMs, but ignored it or didnt understand it. Or thought it would go away...
LOL While I can see why you
LOL While I can see why you would feel this way...BM Redneck ran to the safety of lesbia & was there for a good 8 years...she's back to straightville again (been here for about 6 years)...we'll see which one she ends up with at the end of the day.
Even though she resided in lesbia she was & is a complete loon...I've been told she was an idiot since childhood so SO can't really be blamed for her lunacy...
BM Nasty was a whore before SO & she has proven to be a whore after SO...so again...he can't really be blamed for that one either.
My XH however...I completely relate to HIS crazy bitch of an X/BM!
bm was hit by a truck.
bm was hit by a truck. literally. not nuts just dumb.
one of my exes was a sociopath.
my misters last ex, has borderline personality disorder.
true crazy is genetic.
I'm pretty sure BM has BPD,
I'm pretty sure BM has BPD, which I like to think of as, "stuck emotionally at the level of a 6-yr-old."
I'm thinking that complete self-absorption and moods swings aren't as noticeable in a 19-yr-old, especially to an also self-absorbed 22-yr-old. So BM looked pretty "normal" to DH when he married her. I'd hate to think he was attracted to crazy.
Now, when that same BM is 37 and she behaves with less maturity and shows fewer reasoning skills than her 15-yr-old... that makes it REALLY obvious that something isn't quite right.
I'll agree that true crazy is genetic, but luckily DH's kid didn't get it.
I was actually thinking the
I was actually thinking the same thing.....my DH's 'booty-call' and I say that because they weren't dating, in a relationship and good god, he didn't marry her....but she is classified as having manic depression and bi-polar....No wonder why my SD15 is the way she is....look at her mother!!!
Weird, BM was also daignosed
Weird, BM was also daignosed with manic depression. I guess when we call them crazy we really aren't lying.
No, we aren't lying.
No, we aren't lying. Interestingly however, I feel that I should be having mental issues - dealing with my SD15 and her BM. She can claim she's bi-polar and depressed. I've been DEPRESSED since I met your daughter!