need help
I would like to start off by saying, I'm a mom and love being a mom I also love kids but I can't stand my 3 step kids. its been 3 years and its getting worse, seriously getting worse. I don't know how much more I can take. my husband is just wonderful and he does try. they are is bio so there is that connection there that I don't have that does make it hard to see eye to eye.
my step kids are 7,9, and 11. 2 girls and a boy. the boy being the youngest. my husband and I, their dad have a little boy together that's 2.
1-for the past 3 years they come over every weekend, Friday through Sunday. and starting this summer week on, and week off. the summer is half over and the rules haven't changed from 3 years ago and they still don't know nor do they fellow them. its not just 1 or 2 rules its all of them. they act like feakin animals that has no respect for any one or anything. I'm so sick of repeating my self over and over again. 2-they act like their the boss of my house. they tell me what I can and can't do and how I should raise my son. they mother my son when I'm standing right there. hello my son. I tell him what he can and can't do, not you. Grrrrrr!! 3- so far I've had the cops come to my house 2 times. because of lies they have told and things they have done. 4- it makes me sick how much their dad does for them and they show no respect. 5-their mom can't stand me so all she does is talk trash about me, and all she does is sit on her butt and live off child support and the state. all 3 yes even the 11 year doesn't understand way dad has to work and can't sit home like mom and run around all day. 6- no mater what I make for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, they hate it. they complain and cry all day and every day about what I make. I'm at the point where I can't take it any more. I love my husband he is my soul mate and I dont want to end what we have. I've never met another man that makes me feel like the way my husband makes me feel. I waited 30 years to find the right man to say I do to. all I can think about is my son. my son is my every thing. I DO NOT WANT MY SON TO BE ANYTHING LIKE THOSE KIDS!! I use to be fun, loving, up beat now I'm angry all the time having to deal with them. I know I take it out on my son and every one else. please help!!
Hello, Although my
Hello,
Although my circumstances are different, I feel exactly what you do about your step children! My step daughters 9 and by far is the most demanding and most ungrateful and rude child I have ever met in my life. I have a 6 month old and fear that she will grow up believing that that's how you communicate with people. Today, after a bust up with her this morning I just can't see how the future will be. She doesn't want me here and after 4 years I think well she may as well get what she wants. She lives with us and has done since aged 4 and has no relationship with her biological mother. I read what you put and feel the same and can unfortunately shed no positive words for you. I can only empathise with what you feel and help you see that your not the only one who feels like this. X
thank you, it was very nice
thank you, it was very nice to hear that I'm not the only one that feels like that. I seriously started thinking that maybe it was just me.
I want to start by saying I'm
I want to start by saying I'm so sorry that you are going through this w/3 skids! My SD12 does so many of the things you are describing. It drives me crazy! I am not a nice person when we get her. I just go into defensive mode automatically when she shows up now. I am so embarrassed to admit that.
But let me give you some encouragement regarding your son... my DS is 8. I am fairly strict & consistent as I can be with him. He is NOTHING like his sister! He is (most of the time) respectful. He obeys the rules. He takes up most of his responsibilities. The worst thing is his inability to keep his room clean & keep his books off the floor. Also he is very sensitive and has a short fuse (just like me). I will take these things over what SD puts us through any day. Don't get me wrong, my DS gets me wound up if his behavior is bad enough, but at the end of the day his discipline stands. With DS, discipline ends when she goes home, no matter what the problem was.
Please don't worry so much about your son. I wasted so much time on that. Just love him & raise him with consistency. He will be fine in the long run. And someday he will see all the rules & such as love. Good luck!
That's reassuring for me too.
That's reassuring for me too. I know what you mean about changing character when she comes over to you. I'm the same when it comes to school pick up time, my heart sinks!
Was thinking; with the whole food thing - give them the choice? If they don't want either then fine. They know they're getting to you and know how to push your buttons...and succeeding!! They're exerting their authority and control over you and you must get that back. I've had my SD telling me how to drive aged 6 and acting like the adult/ mother etc. Some of that is because she doesn't trust me as the adults in her life have let her down. It could be the same with your 3 and also that they prob blame you for taking dad away. House rules if u ask me. There's gotta be a weak link within them. Work on developing a relationship with one and maybe they can encourage the others when they're not with you? Or, head for the ring leader (prob eldest?) And have some 1:1 time with them. They are pushing you to see how far you'll go. They need boundaries and rules. Your house, your home, your family, your rules! Don't let them dominate you in this way. I ackknowledge right now I am being a complete hypercrit as my SD completely controls my life but get your fighting head on girl!!
xxx
I have seriously tried all of
I have seriously tried all of that and more.
is to the point that my
is to the point that my husband their is sick of whats going on. you know what else I dont understand why me. they get along with their soon to be step dad just fine and more.