Maintenance Payments when Skid Moves Out
My SS16 moved in with us a month ago after his mum stopped taking her meds and went mental at him. My DH paid the BM maintenance last month as he niavely thought everything would be sorted out quickly and he'd move back in with her. Well, he hasn't and nothing has been sorted. We don't know if it's a permanent change or what.
BM is supposed to be setting up family counselling in order to talk through the reasons why SS left and also her problems with my DH but she hasn't yet. We've been together years and years (married 5) and all of a sudden she has issues with DH and won't even let him go to the house. So trying to talk to her and sort stuff out has been impossible.
It's coming up to the end of the month which means her next maintenance pyment is due but we don't think she should be getting it seeing as SS has been living with us. He's stayed 2 nights at her house in a month! And visited her for an hour on his birthday in addition. We also have their dog as she kicked her out, so we've had that added expense (especially as she had to go to the vets and we're going on holiday and will have to put her in kennels).
Do you think we're within our rights just to stop maintenance? We looked through the agreement and it never seemed to occur to anyone he may move in with us as some point as there's no mention of what would happen if he did. It does say maintenance payments are for the benefit of the child and once he's 18 or finished FT ed then they'll stop.
Personally I think he should say to her as nothing has been sorted he'll have to stop her payments but if SS moves back in with her then he'll start them again. I mean there's no reason we should pay her when SS is living with us full time surely?
That's correct.
That's correct. Support/maintenance is tied to the court order, not the location of the child. I'd recommend filing with court for a change in custody based on the child now residing primarily with them. I'd use the mom's choosing to stop her medication as the required material change in circumstance. Any change in maintenance can be addressed then.
Dontcha just love the court system? :sick:
Hmm, we did wonder if we'd
Hmm, we did wonder if we'd have to go back to court. It's so annoying, why should we have to pay legal costs when it's her fault!??! We were hoping, as we didn't go through the child support agency just worked out an agreement ourselves, we could just work something out with BM.
Thing is currently she gets child benefit and working tax credits (UK system). Which amount to a hefty £500 a month (plus £300 maintenance off us) but with SS living with us she won't be entitled to all of that anymore and it will drop to £200. We were kind of hoping to say well we won't claim them in exchange for cutting her maintenance.
As you say though I suppose we will probably have to go to court just so that she can't say in future oh you never paid me and have to pay it in arrears!!! Why didn't anyone think at the time to put in the agreement what happens if SS moved out. :?
There's only 2 years left though and then that's it, fingers crossed he won't go onto higher education, I don't think he will but he's so lazy he'd probably rather do that than get a job!
Does anyone else feel deeply resentful at the fact they're having to use their own money to pay for things because of the lazy ass BM taking all DH's money?!?!?! He's on about how we need to extend the house so there's more room with him and his dog living with us, but who has all the savings?!? Me!!! I told him I didn't see why I should be using my savings to build somewhere for his son and his mates to hang out and a luxury home for his dog!