I know the SD21 isn't going to change, but DH cannot and now I KNOW will never see it. So all we can do is control what happens in our house. The only thing that is sad is that because now SD has a free rein to her patholigical lying, as she is not living with anyone who knows her from before, e.g family members, and has new bf and his family to work on too,the same s**t is forever coming in through the door with her......

I would never expect the DH to chose, but I have shared all her crap for years and I'm DONE, full up, tired and BORED with the situation, I'm forever hoping SD gets on with her life, but DH keeps on moving the MONEY WILL END here deadlines, so SD just seems him as an easy ATM!!!!
SD is the same, no cards, no presents, very little contact and knowlledge of HER life is shared. She has been living away at College and never gave DH the actual residential address for AND she has moved again recently, again will not share the info.....what is that ABOUT???

Father's day, started off the day before with a call from 35 year old stepson, well actually a text with something like "My sister (stepdaugher 37) needs 900 dollars or they are going to shut of her electricity." Now mind you, stepson never calls unless it is about money. Due to the fact that he was living with mommy (unemployed for 3 years now) and got evicted, he is living with his sister in her basement. Wow. So my hubby calls back (and i am proud of him for this) actually says "Ya no" he says "I can't believe there are 5 adults in house and nobody can figure out how to work and pay electric bill" Only person that actually works is SD's hubby. Scary.

So the next day, fathers day, no call from either of them. We did get a call from the youngest and a card and 50 dollar gift card for Outback Steakhouse (can you say normal one of the batch?) My poor hubby says to youngest SS, how come the only time your brother calls me is when he has money, and he can figure out how to text "we need 900 dollars" but could not even bother to text "happy fathers day" pretty f-ed up if you ask me. Youngest SS agreed, sees the light. Scary that the youngest is the one that had the most issues growing up but has actually gotten his act together. As a side note, the youngest actually called me for mothers day too!

Two oldest are now mad that my husband stood his ground. I tell you the entitlement thing never ceases to amaze me!

Quick update, still waiting for that card that SD21 has sent.....maybe by Christmas ??? Not even a Father's Day MEMAIL from her!!! Poor DH says he doesn't mind and KNOWS what she is like....but that doesn't excuse it!! Grrrrr !!!

I have to say even though my SD (27) is a piece of s!@, she gets DH a nice card and a nice gift for father's day. Since she lives w/us it would be difficult to make an excuse for not doing something.

But it's the head games that she plays that bothers me. Like telling him not once but twice that she was moving out . .knowing it's going to break his heart. Then the moron tells me "well she's moving out so you'll be happy, this is what you've wanted." I told him this is not about me. It's time for her to go and she told you she wants her own place before she gets married. She probably wants him to beg her to stay. And he's foolish enough to do just that.

It's one thing for steps to act like idiots regarding us, but it's another issue entirely when DH's make excuses for their bad behavior and not hold them accountable regarding those actions. As far as I'm concerned, it weakens the marital bond because you start losing respect for them.

My bf got one card from his son, but he has 2 other adult kids. The one who sent the card texted, asked if he got it, and then proceeded to hint that he needs a computer. He is the manipulator, so he figured the card would be his way to get the computer. I think no card would have been better. I am also trying to determine whether the card itself was part of the manipulation-the son is 19, but the card was made for a small child to give their dad. I dont get it......

DH got a card and weekend visit from SS16.

From SD17 - nothing. We have not seen her or the grandbaby for over a year now (it was exactly a year on Father's Day). No explanation, no FU, no nothing.

Lordy Shannon61 you have the patience of a SAINT!!!!! Haha !!!! I would be itching for an E.T.A of the departure date !!! When SD21 graduated HS she was already for a cosy LONG Summer with duped bf at the time, so I think I actually took her breath away when I said she was leaving a week later. DH was backing me that week, I guess, especially after the Graduation Day fiasco( I mentioned it on here somewhere!)
Also DH thought that she might get a Summer job, didn't happen of course, she just changed locations and sat back down on her a** e!!
What always surpises me is how the DH is like shockingly surprised like the first time when SD spews him the same lies AGAIN and gets into the same old dramas !!! Me, I'm like....... YAWN !!!!!

Sweetnothings, a few months ago I was at a party discussing the challenges of marriage to a group of ladies. When I told them that SD (27) still lived w/us and that we didn't get along, one of them told me that I qualified for sainthood. Too funny.

It's easier to deal w/at this point because: 1 - she's gone most of the time so I don't have to see her very often, and 2 - we've shown her over and over again that we want our privacy so she knows we're ready for her to start packing her crap. She acts like a small child who wants a mommy and daddy dynamic but the problem is she's a frickkin adult and I don't like her so it's not happening. Had she been loving, kind, and cooperative when I first moved in, things would be different. She's now on my bad side. You'd think since she doesn't have a good relationship w/BM that she would have made more of an effort to get along w/me.

They're getting married in June of 2012. Hopefully she'll keep her word to her dad and be gone in a few months. I think she told him so he'd tell me and I'd get my hopes up, and then as we approach the date, she'll change her mind just to be vengeful and spiteful. She'd get a kick out of that. She can't be trusted and is conniving in that way. She can out think DH, but she's met her match w/me. So I'll just continue to do what I usually do - speak but otherwise disengage - until she moves out. It's just a matter of time now.

My DH also did not receive a phone call, card, text msg, e-mail or a FB message from skids (age 30 and 26). However, he was expecting this. They are presently ganging up on him psychologically speaking.

You need to try and get your DH to help her along a little bit, like make it sound like he's giving her a great gift and helping out his poor little SD. Does she need to hire a truck to move her stuff ?? Maybe DH should buy her some fancy moving boxes and bits and get involved with the move??? Maybe if SD sees this she may get moving!!!
With my Skids visiting soon, I told DH during our last discussions( you know the usual dance around rows about SD21 ) that they were coming to visit HIM so he must get organised and plan it, I was stepping back and out of that!! Usually DH thinks that if he arranges the time off work then that's it for his contribution and SD21 would spend the time shopping with his Wallet!!! DH was shocked when I said that, I'm the doer, the organiser, the trip planner, etc so he came up with the City Break in a Hotel, which just goes to show HE can do it !! Fine by me, SD only spends 3 days under my roof, and will actually have to join in with the holiday, usually she arrives, holes up, does NOTHING and expects everything. Boy, the shock will be fun to watch!!!
I know you must be looking forward to the Wedding.....how do you cope with the rest of the family, if you know what I mean, will it be a heaven or hell of a day??? Hehe !!

Sweetnothings. I'll start nudging him about picking up some of those "apartment finders" books as well as boxes.

I'm more excited about the wedding than she is. She's not excited about her wedding because she's so lazy, she doesn't want to plan it but her fiance isn't taking no for an answer. So it's causing a problem. I told her marriage is not about YOU, so get used to it. See what daddy has created?

Fortunately I get along with EVERYBODY else in the family. I have to say, DH's family (all of them) are wonderful folks. I know SD has ran back and blabbed stuff to my in-laws, but they are wise enough to not say anything, mind their own business and stay out of our marriage. They are kind to me. I only have an issue w/my SD.

We are in the same type of situation here with SSs, age 27 & 29. Neither acknowledge their father for any occasion. They are very angry with us both, have made all kinds of false accusations basically trying to frame us with their hurts. I won't have anything to do with it anymore. I did for a long time as the kids were small and I was the one that raised them but I finally drew my boudaries and told husband that he needed to work things out with his sons as I feel the hurt comes from unresolved issues between them and the hurt that he filed for divorce from their mother. Husband just lets it all go and I see it as his choice to make. I will not continue to be a part of it. It's up to them if they want a relationship with each other.