You are here

Pregnant and strange feeling. I want my stepchild by not my own baby

teresalove's picture

Submitted by teresalove on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 10:31pm

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

I'm pregnant and having strange feelings. I never thought I would feel this way. This is my first child and I thought I would be happy, but I'm not. I like the way things are now. We don't have lots of money, but we are happy. I like that it is just me my boyfriend and his little girl. She is 5 and when ever we all hang out she makes my day. This is strange, but I'm thinking that I don't want a baby. I like my stepdaughter because I like to listen to her fun stories of books she is reading in school but at the end of the day she goes back home to her mom. I know that when I have this baby that everything will change. I will be responsible for someone. This is crazy how could I feel more love for my stepchild than my own baby?

teresalove's picture

Submitted by teresalove on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 10:45pm

I'm only 4 weeks. I just don't know if I'm ready. I can't send my own somewhere else at the end of the day.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 03/08/2011 - 2:52am

Believe me we didn't have many problems with skid before my kiddo was born and I loved her dearly way back when...as she grew and became more like her mother, then I realized the love I have for my son is very different...and yes, isn't it amazing how people complain about being divorced but at the same time so many just get a break EOW when the rest of us parents NEVER get a break? gotta love it...

StillSearching's picture

Submitted by StillSearching on Thu, 03/31/2011 - 7:46am

I have never been pregnant but I think once you get more into your pregnancy you will have a change of heart. It is still new to you at 4 weeks so maybe things will change. That is great that you and your SD get along Smile

zebra.wings's picture

Submitted by zebra.wings on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 7:39pm

I have two boys. and when the both were born it was not immediete love. I knew I had to take care of them, shelter them and tend to them but it took about 3 weeks to "fall in love" with them. And I promise you...after that first smile, that first something, you will be head over heels for them with a emotion you cannot describe.

MY only question is how old are you if you don't mind me asking? and is your baby to be a oops or planned? remember this baby to be did not ask to be born, it was your responsibility to prevent it if it was a oops..sometimes oops happen even if you were careful, then its your choice in the beginning what you decide to do. I think it will take adjustment ..I planned both my kids and had them at 22 and 25. But when they were both born I felt like they were little strangers and was upset I didn't have that immediate love, but you know what ...THEY ARE LITTLE STRANGERS. you will grow to love him/her..it will change the dynamic but..I think you will never regret it..

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 11:45pm

This may sound strange, but I had absolutely no feelings for my baby until she was born during my first pregnancy. It's the same with this one. Actually, with this one, I get pretty aggrivated b/c I'm convinced she's a 13 lb. linebacker in training. Anyway, I think each parent experiences falling in love with their baby differently. Some bond while the baby is in the womb, some fall in love the moment they lay eyes on their new baby, for some it happens fairly soon after the birth, and some have to make an effort to bond. Any which way it turns out for you is ok, so don't beat your self up for feeling this way.