Out of desperation, anger and fustration i decided to google "How to deal and not kill the ex wife" and came across this blog. So hi there.
Heres my drama... i married a man who has been married before and has two children, 13 and 8. He has known from the beginning she was wrong but stayed with her for the sake of their then baby daughter. They grew apart because she is controlling, two faced, money hungry, back stabbing, a liar ect ect.. im sure you get the picture. I sound like a monster but its true. When my husband and i met, he was in the process of divorcing. I met her and she was so welcoming, friendly and decent. I thought we could have common ground for the childrens sake. It didnt take long for her to show her true colors. She would gossip about us to anyone that would listen but infront of us would be so nice. My husband, not knowing how to deal with divorce and not wanting to hurt his children, was firm but would give her money when she asked. She would purposly ask infront of me to show she can get anything she wants (Well thats what she belives.) I didnt show her any negative feelings or emotions because i didnt want her to feel as though she is getting her way to make me feel miserable. My husband was used until he started putting his foot down and realizing how to deal with all this. She once had the cheeck to tell me she asks for no money but the maintaince. That after asking for stuff infront of me at times. She doesnt belive that my husband and i have a very open relationship because thats not how she treats her relationships.

She would miss call my husband to phone her back! Cheap skate. Once we phoned his eldest to chat and she screamed in the background, "Tell daddy to buy a coke and some ciggerettes!" Needless to say we didnt.

She got away with lifts, money, airtime ect for a while but then my husband put a firm foot down. She then tried to take chances by asking us to buy the children stuff-didnt work because she gets maintaince. She now is forced to deal with all the basic needs and any extras we do half and she does the other half. Fair.
She then got on my nerves once again by copying ideas for my wedding and engagement. She hasnt gotten married yet and has a scruffy boy for a fiance. She once told us that the children had chicken pox and we should get ointment. We did and had no problem with that only later realizing it was not both children, it was her and the youngest!

We went to get legal help because she has admitted to not using the full maintaince on the children. The court did nothing. All they say is "IF you dont pay we lock you up".
We are willing to pay of course because we care about the children and they are a huge part of our lifes but we want her to spend THIER money on THEM. We once had a situation where she and her boyfriend/fiance were kicked out of his parents house so we had the children for three weeks (One week less then a month) because she had to go stay with friends. Her mother passed away during those two weeks. We all went to a city 10hours away for the funeral. We took the kids because we have a car and they had to go by bus. We asked her to give the maintaince to the kids because they had been with us basically all month and they will need pocket money for this trip. She REFUSED!!!! ( PS Court again didnt do a thing to her.. dont know why they are so in favour of the b*tches.) The kids obviously missed her so went with her after the funeral. She phoned us the next day to pick them up!!

There have been many of 'these' incidents but would be a whole book to write about.
My husbands mother has told me that the only reason she fights so hard for the kids is because she knows she can get maintaince that way. My husbands family hates her and like me so it adds to her irriation. Everytime i would politly confront her about her badmouthing or chance taking me or my husband she would deny or make up excuses. She will never man up. I would let her know im not stupid and know it was her but never be rude or fight.

In all this, her catty-ness and disrespect towards my husband has hurt the children and she noticed, so now she only speaks to us when needed. But now she is telling me i must forgive and forget! WFT!! When i was nice towards her and didnt take her on about anything she was cruel now that i stand up for myself and show her i dont like or respect her, she wants to meet me half way???

The kids adore me and she says she doesnt want to have bad vibes. I told her i tried and she wasnt intrested now im not intrested. My husband is not friendly but respectful. I dont think she deserves respect and often this leads to a fight because i dont want him to treat her with respect. He is very firm and takes no nonsense from her also doesnt speak about anything but the kids needs at that time. Tonly speak when they need to and they still dislike each other and for that i am gratful. But she doesnt deserve to be spoken to in a respectful manner even if its about the kids. Not only has she done all this and more to us, she has cheated on him, tried to break his legs and so much more horrible things in the past. So why should we show her respect just because of the children?? In my eyes, she can now hide behind the kids and be treated with respect. That angers me. She has treated me like crap infront of the kids but i cant do the same?

I have become stressed and it feels as though the life has been sucked out of me. I enjoy nothing anymore. My husband says its because i dont want to forgive. He has and i hate that he has forgiven. That angers me even more. I want her to dissapear. Its unfair that i must feel this way but she can be treated respectfuly just because of the children.