I have been looking over this site for a few hours now, and it is so great to know that I am not alone with these issues.
I guess I will start with our history, I am 29 and have bi-polar (well medicated), and 1 BS10 who lives with his father, 4 years ago I met my DH and I knew that he had 4 sons ages now 11, 9, almost 8 and 4. BM still thinks she is in love with DH, although throughout their marriage she cheated over and over and finally left him for some abusive man. My relationship with the boys was really good for the first year when we lived apart, We got married thing were still good, BM got pregnant with twins and me with our last child and things changed she wanted DH back and tried to make me lose our son. I wanted to press charges but felt that the boys would hate me for doing that to her, when she had the twins she gave DH full cusody because she now has 4 other kids at home with could not "deal" with their behavior. Before this we had 2 of them all the time minus the weekends that she was willing to take them. During that time we would have All 4 and DH's SD now 14. Right now we have my 4 SS11,9,8,4 and our BS18months living with us. BM does not see or call them but once every month or 2, but is on the phone with DH almost everyday about how horrible I am, and that I have no right to talk or do anything with Skids, and I am sure trying to convince him she has changed. Oh by the way also tried to convice me he cheated with her by faking a DNA test for twins (swabbed SS4 mouth) we ordered one through courts in a lab and found out truth. Well since this did not work for her she has painted me this horrible person to in-laws and Skids, they think it is my fault that she does not call or come get them because she says that I control daddy and will not let her call or come get them. Now it seems that it is DH and me against the Skids, which is not what we want and with DH wanting the kids to be happy he refuses to disapline them so that leave me to do it and they say they do not have to listen to me because their BM said so. Right now I have kids that are stealing, lying, fighting, and I am afriad that I actually want to hurt them and I have never laid a hand on anyone let alone children, I find myself locking my self in my room and crying all the time, I feel I am not getting the support I need from DH, and I don't want to walk out on my family but I am losing my mind and finding it easier to over medicate myself so I can't cry anymore I love these boys they ARE mine but I don't know what to do anymore....

Please any advice would be helpful and if more information is needed just ask for what you want to know about, I am willing to be completely open to any ideas.

Hurt.Mom