HELP!! New here
Hi, I was surfing for help and found this site. My boyfriend and I live together and he has 2 boys, 7 and 4. I love the boys alot but they don't listen to anything. It's an odd situation because after my husband and I split, he wound up with their mom and me and their dad started dating. We all still get along for the most part, of course there are small spats about the boys but I would say the boys are doing fine with the situation. Even when my boyfriend and his wife were together the boys didn't listen to anything and were never really punished. The 7 year old whines constantly, lies constantly even about stuff that happens at school, and when he's told NOT to do something he basically does it just for spite it seems like. He gets into trouble at school at least 2 times a week and at least once a week on the bus. As far as his school work, he makes honor roll everytime. The 4 year old is flat out stubborn and if you make him mad he clams up and will not speak. Honestly, I have more trouble out of both when their dad is at home than when I have them by myself. I do not discipline them as I feel it's the biological parents responsibility. One of my main gripes is the oldest is overweight, he's actually wearing a size 12 or 14 jeans and is only 7 yrs old. He sometimes eats more than I do at a meal and I feel my boyfriend thinks it's ok. He says,"I was chunky when I was little so it's in his genes." He also thinks if we eat chocolate or ice cream or something, the boys should have it also. I say if we want something like that it should wait till they go to bed or we don't have it at all. I agree they should be allowed on special occasions but not every night for dessert. Now the 4 yr old is another story. He will not eat a full meal for anything, he always picks at his food and isn't made to eat hardly anything. He can still wear 3T clothes and will be 5 in July. I have tried to talk to my boyfriend to change the boys attitudes and teach them responsibility, respect, and general ways you should act but he says they're just being boys. How do I get him to listen and take me seriously??? Am I overstepping my boundaries since I don't have children of my own???
WELCOME!! Do any of these
WELCOME!!
Do any of these "symptoms" look familiar?
1. Does your man allow co-sleeping with his children? (aka the kiddies routinely jump into bed with him at night)
2. Does he have to lie down with them to get them to sleep?
3. Do the children seem somehow "stunted" socially? Do they have poor hygiene habis, eating habits, bedtime habits?
4. Does your man subscribe to the "one big happy family" model? (expects you to love his children as much as or more than him)
5. Does your man have the "inability" to say no to his children?
6. Do his children seem overly "hyperactive" to you?
7. Does your man say "just relax; you worry too much" or "Everything will be just fine" if you bring up a legitimate concern
8. Do the children seem "overly needy" demanding that dad spend 24/7 with them? Do they physically lay all over him and go bonkers when daddy steps out of their peripheral vision?
9. Are they unable to do age appropriate tasks or want dad to do things that could easily be done themselves?
10. Does dad seem overprotective of his children; unwilling to let them try things out on their own?
11. Has dad said things like "I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it will affect the children" or "we'll take the high road" when faced with blatant BM stepping over boundaries.
More than one? RUN!!!