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How would you handle this?

mom23ms's picture

Submitted by mom23ms on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 9:03pm

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I still haven't moved back with SO (or exSO or whatever he is.) Anyway, he text his oldest daughter and asked how she and her sisters were (he was working) and she got really nasty. It got to the point where she cussed him and told him that she wish he would just die because he deserved it. Now, she gets nasty and is pretty much a hateful teen but she really really really went off and the things she said I couldn't believe it.

Now having BK's of my own, if my children ever said that to me either face to face or a text, I don't care how old they were...they probably wouldn't have fingers to text ever again. But SO just overlooks it. He said "she is on her own" but her first braces payment (the ones her mother and and her put on without SO's knowledge but was kind enough to give him his half of the payment coupons AFTER they were put on.)

If his teen SD told him that she hated him, she doesn't ever want to see him again (she hasn't lived with him since October) and she wished him death. Is it wrong to take the $1400 out of her savings (only SO has access of it) to pay for her half of the braces or should he just cough it up? This was a surprise to him still financially since BM had never talked to him about putting braces on her.

Any thoughts???

caregiver1127.2's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127.2 on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 8:42pm

I totally agree with Dabs - when these woman make decisions that affect your money then you need to cover your bases - go for it - DH put the money in there so he can take it out - when my DD was born I started putting away $10 a week in an account for her - so when she reaches 14 we will have close to $8,000 in an account for her - this is not her college account it is an account for prom dresses, trips, braces whatever she needs - and by putting away $10 a week I don't even miss it but it will be such a help when she is a teenager!!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 9:30pm

I would pay for half of the braces with her money. She wants him dead, he can leave her broke.

Teen venting or not, her actions are inexcusable and SO needs to cut his spawn loose until she learns to address him for the proper respect a parent should have from a child.

IMHO of course.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Submitted by youngmama1b1g on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:09am

If hes the only one putting deposits into the account, I dont see why he cant use it pay for something 'necessary' like braces.

swstepmom's picture

Submitted by swstepmom on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 8:44am

I don't think I would even be as kind as to take the money out of her savings.....If she wants him dead then he should show her what it feels like to not have him in her life. My ss10's bm tried something like this on me once.....I was 7 months pregnant and she calls one night out of the blue and says she signed up my ss to camp over the summer and she told my ss that his dad would come down and spend the weekeds with him at camp!?!? Nevermind the fact that we are 4 and a half hours away from her and I was 7 MONTHS PREGNANT! My dh just said yeah I can do whatever it takes....Got off the phone and i was beyond livid.....So I ended up having a little chat with the bm and that NEVER happened again. My dh just feels obligated and was afraid she would take his kid from him again like she did for nearly 5 years. This was my first prenanacy so I was beyond scared and needed my dh with me. From what I can tell a lot BM's just feel they are entitled to do whatever and whenever they want......Pisses me off!

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:43pm

She should pay for the whole thing herself. She's "adult" enough to curse and reject her father then she can sink or swim on her own!!

Good thing you have separate living quarters! Really the best way!! YOu do have separate finances, dont' you?

mom23ms's picture

Submitted by mom23ms on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 4:43pm

I am so glad not only did I move out but I always made sure my finances were seperate from his. I'm also starting to think I am glad I got out before I married him. AMEN!
,

mom23ms's picture

Submitted by mom23ms on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 8:31pm

This is her typical attitude. When I lived with SO she would tell him to "shut up" or curse at him. One day when my BKs were with their dad and we had his three, we took them out to dinner and the two older girls were throwing forks and cursing each other. People were looking at us. I got up and left. exSO didn't say anything to them except "c'mon girls, knock it off."

She has always been like this to her dad. She isn't like this to BM. She blames her dad for everything but exSO does and gave her everything. She only has her tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. What she does have in savings came from things like her Birthday and Christmas.

BM allows her to talk that way to her father and doesn't do anything to correct her. Heck on MY bday her phone died and wanted to go home and charge it. exSO wouldn't take her so she took a knife and went chopping at MY cake (and I have never done anything to her.) Living with her was HELL.

I don't really know alot about PAS...my ex and I have such a different type of relationship. We actually get along and communicate and back each other up when it comes to parenting. I guess I should do some search on PAS.