I feel your pain, when I started dating my husband just after he had left his ex wife she was so mad that she got a line of credit at Bank of America in his name only for 5000$ - maxed it out, didn't make a payment for 3 months so the minimum payment got to be over 700$, she knew he was about to find out about the credit card so she set up for an auto pay to come out of HIS personal checking account the morning of his next pay day. It was crazy!!! Bank of America prosecuted her for fraud because she knowingly did it, they froze her account, took what little money she had in her own account to pay their expenses, then they closed her account and she can never bank with BOA again. They were still "legally" married when she did it, but it was in the divorce papers that she was to be held liable for that account. She ended up filing bankruptcy and included that account. You are correct when you say that she doesn't care about your two kids because she could care less if they ever ate again as long as you guys are miserable for having to pay her every dime you make and then some. My advice on braces #2 would be to contact the ortho, and tell them that you nor your husband agreed to pay for this and if they deduct any amount different than what you authorized that you will pursue legal action. If it is deducted straight out of a checking account, simply close that checking account and open a new one and start sending them direct paper checks for just the amount of braces #1 until they are paid for and then begin payments for braces #2 - that'll really piss her off!! LMAO!

Do you have the orthodontist's professional email address? The next time BM says the SDs need something, you can email the orthodontist and ask for their opinion. I don't know if the orthodontist's office has a copy of the court order outlining the rules for decisions for the skids like these, but if they don't you should mail them one. As far as the email addresses go, if you don't have them, then you can find them by searching for their school on Google and find them on the school's website.

One thing that really helped DH and me was his getting all communication with BM done via email. You can print them off and save them, and BM's emails did her no favors in court. When it comes to future decisions that have to be made with BM, DH should make them via email (keeping you in the loop, of course) and, if necessary, CC the doctors, teachers, and other necessary adults who are involved just so they can know what is going on. A lot of times, BMs try to get the doctors, teachers, and other adults in their kids lives to think that their exes are deadbeats who don't want to be involved in their kids lives. Keeping these people in the loop via email can prove otherwise to them.

You do not have to pay. Have your husband call the orthodontist and tell them that this was never authorized and that he is NOT approving this withdrawl. They will have no choice but to agree because they have nothing in writing authorizing this. Tell them that he will shut down the acct if they try to deduct the additional funds. I would however explain what happened and tell them that after 7 months they can start taking it out.

What we have done is called our insurance company too and told them to call us with any visits that may be billed in SS13's name. Since DH is the Garanter (sp) on his insurance.
If it was me I would be raising hell with the ortho!!!

Never a failure...Always a lesson

If your dh didn't approve, its fraud because the dentist took the bill payment from the first child and added the second on. Tell the dentist that if he starts deducting for the second, he'll be sued. You didn't give him written permission for the second.
I gave the advice that you should not pay at all for the second whatso ever. Take her to court or sue the dentist if he takes a penny out more!! He'll hesitate. considering if BM gve a verbal ok and not a written signature from yoru husband.!!!
Do this quick!!! contact that dentist and tell him your dh dint' give consent of payment for the second chidl and had no knowledge of when those braces were place. He can chase bm for the money on that kid. And bm can take you guys to court. Thsi way you guys press charges on her immediatley. Stop paying for this bitch!

I hope just a mom is wrong as that sounds harsh. Who says braces are "needed" at any certain time? They are not heart surgery.
But anyway, I am sure you can negotiate with the dentist regarding this. They will understand that you can't afford double payments.

My understanding is that braces are considered NON-NECESSARY.... They are not medically necessary. In WA state, the parties have to agree for the child to get braces and if one parent does not agree then the judge tells the parent who wants the braces that they have to pay for it.