I don't believe it. In my own time, I have loved a few men all for different reasons. I believe in that "Reason, Season, Life Time"

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."

Even if they came into your life so you could have your children or learn what a healthy relationship should be. I don't believe for one minute that they NEVER loved their x. I believe that person was in their life for a reason and over time that reason was fulfilled and it was time to move on.

My BF says the same thing. He didn't know why he married her. So I wonder if we get married is he not going to know why then too? They just don't want us to know the truth.

I really don't know what it is with some men. I mean, my SO (or should I say now exSO) claims that BM was on the pill and she got pregnant on it (whether it be she wasn't really on it or she got pregnant while on it - I don't know the exact story.) Anyway, BM got pregnant and he said he felt it was the right thing to do was to marry her.

So they are married and she gets pregnant with #2. He said she wasn't planned but it was one of those things where they didn't take precaution.

As for #3. The story was they were having marital problems and they were talking about splitting up. Apparently she must have fell on his penis at one point in the night (on accident of course) and she got pregnant. Imagine that! I guess they tried to work things out but ended up divorcing.

Of course he says "I don't know why I married her, I wasn't in love. I don't love her like I love you." Typical man BS. HOWEVER, when the tables are turned, and he has asked me why I married my exhusband and about the kids and my answer is and has been "I loved him and I wanted children with him and he loved me and he wanted children with me and that is what two married people do." Boggles my mind sometimes how I can just put it out there and have no shame in it, but he can't just admit it.

my h never married bm, but they were together for 7 years. he said after the first 2 years (when sd came basically) he wasnt happy anymore. They were 'high school sweethearts', met in like 10th grade and she was preggo by 12th grade lol.

My dh married his ex because he knew the relationship was never going to last, and that as an unmarried father he had no parental responsibiliy for the kids so would not have any rights towards them when they split (UK law). He married her knowing they would split up and he would take her to court for custody of them. He succeeded in getting custody, as the court saw her for the unfit mother she is. I still can't believe he made the same mistake with her 3 times, though - one drunken mistake with the first kid maybe, but then 2 more after that??? He said she claimed to be taking contraception, but he found out after that she'd lied. I still can't believe that someone so intelligent as my dh could fall for that crap, knowing she was an untrustworthy, lying control freak who was as psycho as they come. I had a daughter with my ex husband and put up with an unhappy marriage for her sake, but I made damn sure I never, ever had another kid with him so can't understand dh's complete stupidity. If only he'd had the snip behind her back after the first kid like he was going to (he was scared she'd find out and flip), at least I would have only had one skid to deal with and not 3 of the whiny little buggers!!

He married her because it "seemed like the right thing to do". They'd dated in college, broken up for a few months, dated others, gotten back together. I completely understand his thinking and don't fault him one bit. I dated someone for 5+ years and though things were not perfect, and something was missing, I remember that I still wanted to marry the guy for the same reason.... after all those years together, it seemed like the right thing to do, the natural progression. It eventually did not work out for either of us. For me and the ex-bf, he didn't want what I wanted out of the relationship and I think deep down inside he felt the same way about something being missing from our relationship. We did love each other but some things just didn't line up perfectly. With my DH and BM, sounded like they too had a similar relationship. Could have been best friends but there was always something missing, at least for DH. After SS was born, BM changed, got depressed, turned into a hypochondriac "stay in bed mom" and that's what did her and the marriage in. DH thought that there had to be something better than that i.e. practically being a single dad while his wife stayed in bed. DId he love her? Sure he did but not on the same level as he loves me. I have loved and appreciated the few boyfriends I've had in different ways but I did definitely love them. I love my DH alot more though because he and I are far more aligned than I was with the others.

My SO makes no excuses. He simply bows his head and says STUPIDITY. LOL.
Ya gotta love the honesty there.

I understand why BF married BM, and I've even heard him admit that at one point he did love her. I'm kind of glad to hear him admit that, because it seems like one of those things you should be able to admit if you've moved on. That being said, they were both very young, and they both seemed to have had unrealistic expectations. BM wanted to get married and have babies right after high school, and BF told her that he was leaving the state, but he'd provide for her if she went with him. Considering BF's life up until that point (father dead, horrible home life, fiance and friend dead), I'm sure that he was looking for some kind of stability and a simple happy home.

BF didn't want kids until he had them (once he had them he realized how much he loved them), but he knew BM wanted them when he married her and he agreed to have them when they were financially stable. BM was on birth control, and when BF said they could afford to have kids she went off it and got pregnant. She begged him for another one right after FSD was born, but he was worried about the money and said no. This back and forth went on a lot BF thinks it's part of what deteriorated their marriage; it wasn't until a year before the divorce that he acquiesced and FSS was born. Thank god FSS is a spitting image of BF, because it seems she was already cheating on him around the time that FSS was conceived.

I know BF and BM were actually in love at one point, but sometime during their marriage that feeling turned really foul on both sides and they just shut one another out. I think BF would have stayed in the marriage though if BM hadn't filed for divorce. His hope of having a "stable" home-life for the kids was the only thing he really seemed to be holding onto at that point, because it was something he never had growing up. They both cheated on each other (he admitted this to me, though he never admitted it to her; his was a one-night stand and hers a relationship she's still in), and I'm sure they were both unhappy. There are a lot of things I dislike about BM, but neither BF nor I place the blame solely at her feet for getting married, getting pregnant, or getting divorced.

As Patti on the Millionaire Matchmaker always says.... "The penis does the picking"

My (poor, poor) DH told me how horrible SS12's BM always was... how he tried to break up with her numerous times, but she wouldn't leave him alone, blah blah blah... fast forward, on and off on and off and whammo when things were getting really bad... BM gets pregnant. DH's exact words " I knew she was a psycho before she got pregnant and begged her not to have the baby" My exact words "So why the hell were you sleeping with her?" DH answer= deer in the headlights look

So one night DH tells me how he was actually engaged to BM, but ended up calling it off shortly after SS was born... I'm like whhaaat?? I thought you hated this bitch, I thought you were trying to get away from her, why on God's green earth would you ask her to marry you? DH=deer in the headlights look and then "because she kept hounding me!!"

I just don't get it at all... apparently he lost not only brain but his balls for a period of time... balls are still in question to this day...

Good stories, ladies. My dh was using drugs at the time he met bm, they both were engaged in that sort of lifestyle at the time. So he met her while out partying with her, partied with her on and off for a few months, ended up sleeping with her, and she got pregnant. Dh loves kids, so although he did not feel like bm was the love of his life, didnt even truly know her, and he was not at a point in his life in which he was mature enough to have kids, he accepted the news graciously and pushed for marriage so that his kid could grow up in a family. Well, they both stopped using drugs and realized that neither one of them could stand each other, had nothing in common, and they split before ss was even a year old. She willingly handed over custody to dh because she "never wanted to get pregnant anyway".

I've always said that he should put a pic of bm on a billboard as a campaign as to why you should just say NO to drugs. He never finds that as funny as I do.

Call me naive, but I truly believe DH never loved BM. Well, not loved, loved. Maybe in an "any port in a storm" kind of way, but nothing meaningful.

DH met BM shortly after breaking up with his high school sweetheart. He was in the navy. He was in after finishing up a six month cruise. Young, dumb and full of ... booze, he meets BM. She's partying with a group of sailors like the little tramp she is and hooks up with DH. Yes, he was stupid. After a one or two night stand, she gets knocked up. She's needy and calls all the time. He goes to break up with her officially as, apparently ignoring her wasn't doing the trick and takes along his best friend - who is actually the one who convinced me he never loved her. So, DH goes to break up with her and she says she's pregnant. He doesn't marry her. He hangs out with her, kid is born. He continues to do the navy thing and sees her and the kid when he's around. He gets out of the navy and moves back to his hometown 10 states away from BM. He misses his daughter and gets BM to move to his town with the kid. She has skid #2 with her who is not DH's but is only about a year old and DH becomes the only dad she's ever known. While living together, BM get's knocked up with kid #3. DH finally decides he'll go ahead and marry her when she's 5 months pregnant with SS. A couple of months after she has SS, DH comes home from working on the road to find that druggie BM has moved in her druggie boyfriend and kicked DH out of their rental home. That's their "love" story.

DH was young and stupid. You know how we have some young, dumb, early 20s skids? Yeah, that was him. He had been in the military for a couple years, and all of his friends were settling down. He went home for leave, and met 19-yr-old BM in a bar. They got married pretty quick; he cheated on her before he even got her out to Hawaii. (THAT detail didn't come out for almost 5 years in OUR marriage - and here I thought SHE was the total skank!)

BM declared that she wanted a baby, and DH thought, "Okay, at least I'm getting laid." She got knocked up pretty quick, and had SD15 when she was 21; DH was barely 24.

They divorced twice - DH kept coming back for more because he does love his daughter.

I think many people marry and had kids with their Xs based on the bullshit that they bought.

Rarely are people mean, snarky or assholes when dating. But many sure come out of their pleasant facades after the wedding and get their bitch or asshole faces on.

I know I bought my XW's bullshit.

When we met, dated, were engaged and up until our wedding she was a beautiful, dynamic young woman.

That is not who I went on the honeymoon with.

I actually had a clue when my XW and I were dating that I completely missed or more accurately chose to ignore. Two actually. We were out at a club one evening and she out of the blue walks up to a a guy and bums a cigarette. For a year of dating she never smoked. She sure put the mojo on that guy though.

Another time she broke up with me. I told her that I would rather not but it was up to her and I paid the restaurant bill and left. She called me two days later in tears and to make up.

When she moved out during our divorce she left her journals in our house. Since she left them, I read them. She had been sleeping around during nearly the whole time we dated including a two day romp with an X who was in town on business when she broke up with me.

In her journals there were not indications that she had cheated while we were married.

However, she ran in to a very good friend of mine/ours at thier OBGYN's office. My friend commented to my XW that she was still wearing the rings that I had given her for our engagement and wedding. My XW commented that she liked them and then totally purged on my friend about her serial cheating while we were married, how stupid I was for believing that the hunting trips she planned for her brother and I were genuine when she was hosing her boy toys while I was hunting, and how she was regretting that her geriatric Fortune 500 executive sugar daddy, that she had cheated on me with, had not married her yet. For some reason my XW thought that my friend would be sympathetic. She wasn’t, I got a call that night from my friend with the low down. Little did my XW know that her venting to my friend cost her sugar daddy a butt load of money. 6mos later my XW called wanting me to quit claim the home we purchased that she had been living in with her spermdonor and their spawn. I refused and ultimately I got half.

If I had remained ignorant of her whoring around during our marriage I would have gladly signed the quit claim for no money just to put her completely in my past. Instead I got major bucks out of her infidelity. I had no problem retroactively pimping her out to her geriatric sugar daddy. I was not getting any from her so I might as well make some retroactive money from at least one of the guys who was.

He did marry her eventually but only after she had brood mare’d his third OOWL spawn.

The ultimate revenge is that I married and share my life with an incredible woman, have a great kid who lets me be his dad, and she is miserable. I speak to my XMIL and XFIL occasionally and they dish on how miserable my XW is. I saw my XW and her family (husband and their OOWL spawn) at a restaurant several years ago while I was on a business trip. She looked like crap. Very unhappy. She snipped and nagged at her kids and her old assed husband for two hours. She did not see me, but I sure saw her.

It was very sad really. When we married she was a beautiful, dynamic and very intelligent young woman who I would have been proud to share an amazing life with. Fortunately she showed her true character and I got out after only 2.5 yrs with no children rather than much much later in eternal CS debt to her.

14yrs after the divorce she was a nag who looked miserable and who looked like she had been rode hard and put up wet for far too long.

My incredible wife is more beautiful, more amazing, more accomplished, more sexy and more completely phenomenal 17yrs after we married than she was when I met her.

I guess both my XW and I got what we deserved out of our actions during our first marriage.