Crazy and obsessed Ex
I've been married for 3 years to a man with 2 step-kids. He has 50/50 custody. His ex is a very manipulative person and continues to impact our lives daily. She threatened suicide the day before our wedding and again the day we returned from our honeymoon. The Courts acknoweldged that she was going thru a tough time and now had her act together. My husband and I are both professionals and live a very nice quality of life. The ex is employed PT but does not earn a lot of money and lives in section 8 housing. My husband pays support weekly (never late) yet this is not enough in her opinion. She calls constantly looking for money and asking for help. In the next breath, she tells everyone that my husband is obsessed with her and stalks her and doesn't love me. We've had to change our home phone and cell phones several times. Last night, the ex called my husbands phone but did not leave a message-he did not pick up because my SD was not home yet. I was out picking up my SD at dancing school. Our home phone rang the moment we walked in and it wa the police calling to check on the welfare of my SD. The ex called the police to say we were keeping her daughter from her. This is not the first time she has turned to the police. I am at a loss and am seriously wondering if this is all worth it. Any advice on how to hndle this? I am at a total loss.
There is nothing you can do
There is nothing you can do about BM's calling the cops for welfare checks. Ours did it repeatedly. Once after she had kidnapped the kids and taken them out of state. When it all got to court she actually attempted to state since we did not know where the kids were (due to her kidnapping them) that DH was an unfit parent.
If you can, make it so all communication is via email so you can keep everything for documentation.
Sounds like a winning entry
Sounds like a winning entry in the Psycho BM Hall of Shame.
We tried the e-mail route and
We tried the e-mail route and she went straight to the police claiming the kids were in danger. We've spent 50k making sure my husband has them 50/50. What scares me is that my 12 yo SD thinks this type of behavior is normal and feels badly for her Mom. In the end, it causes a huge issue for my husband and I and we end up fighting. I feel completely helpless to this woman and her insanity. We've shut down her access to my SD cell phone b/c she was calling 25x a day. We've requested that she make contact via e-mail and then allow the SD to call her direclty. I've never had the police in my life and am a good citizen- I teach CCD for crying out loud. I am ready to walk b.c the issues, lies and manipulation never stop. The kids believe the lies and think we have everyting and they have nothing. Hmm, working allows us to have the things we have. She i the ultimate victim and I just don;t know how to translate that to the kids that we are all responsible for ourselves and our own actions. UGH!!!!
The more she runs to the
The more she runs to the police and they determine nothing is the matter, the worse it will make her look. They will eventually charge her with making a false report.
My suggestion would be using the same method we used. When they show up at the door, sigh heavily, apologise for the waste of their time, invite them in and let them look around. We also used a composition book, kept it next to the front door, filled in date, the reason they came out, got a call or case number from the officer and had him/ her sign the book that there was no evidence of the kids being in danger, of abuse or neglect. That book was an eye opener for the judge. In six months there were 15 pages of visits. With multiple visits per page.
What did the judge do?
What did the judge do?
When that book of calls was
When that book of calls was added to kidnapping, vandalism, arson and child neglect issues:
He terminated her parental rights.
Thanks for the support. My
Thanks for the support. My husband and I are soo embarrassed by all of this. And, frustrated t say the least especially considering that she'll tell anyone that will listen how obsessed he is with her. Talk about a nut! I'm brand new to this site, but look forward to venting with others in the same situation and giving/getting support.