Slap me in the face.
Hello, I came across this site today and thought, thank you God, I'm not alone after all.
I have been a mother to my husbands child for 9 years now. My stepson is 15 and of course currently hates me. His mother has popped in and out of his life over the years but never really been a real big part of his life. Untill now, she has been sober a year and is full force charging in to be mommy of the year. I realize it's important for them to have a relationship, but it just pisses me off that she can just walk in at any moment and be the best Mom in the world. Sadly he overheard me on the phone saying some nasty things about her and hates me even more. That kid doesn't hear me when I'm standing in front of him, but in another room on the phone he hears everything. I did tell him I was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. I have been really sick for several days now and he just continues to throw the I hate you vibe at me which feels like an even bigger slap in the face.
My husband works out of town so there isn't a lot of support since he isn't home. I am stuck dealing with the ex, the kid, the ex family and recent threats of thier rights and how maybe things are not right here in our home. The freaking home we have raised this kid in for years and now that the lady is sober suddenly is unfit. Wow, I mean wow, and oh how lovely it is to be the boy with all these people in his corner cheering that he should have anything he wants and here my baby have some money and some more presents and oh ya I love you so much anything else we can do? The grandma talked to me like I was a dog askin me why he wasn't watching the game askin if he was even allowed to watch tv. OMG what kind of picture is being painted here. BTW, he isn't a sport fan and would much rather play video games and was doing that at the time she was accusing me of being unfit.
I'm really angry that I am this sick and having to deal with all this BS by myself. I have no family that lives near me, all my friends actually live out of state and I have to laugh and say omg look at the life I have made for myself. I am totally only here for my husband and his kid. Definately time for some changes.
Im very new to all of this
Im very new to all of this and have only been taking care of my SKs for a year and we only have them every other weekend. All I can say is find out what rights they have/don't have legally and tell her to shove it. Take some time to reason with you SS and find out why he "hates" you, chances are he's just being a teenager.
Welcome, I hope you find this
Welcome, I hope you find this a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful advice from others who are living the blended family dream.
Response to the womb clan .... KMA! KISS MY ASS! and see you in court .... morons. Stupid people can be so entertaining.
It will take a few days or even weeks for your SS to get over what he over heard you say. But, he will get over it.
We have tried very hard for more than 16yrs to not say anything toxic about the SpermClan in front of my SS-18. However, we have also never lied to him. We have tempered the facts about his SpermIdiot and SpermClan to be age appropriate but have never kept the facts from him.
In fact we have repeatedly reviewed the court docs, arrest records, financial history, etc... of the SpermClan with SS when they try to load him up with a bunch of crap about why we (his mom and I) are evil and that we don't need CS, they need more visitation, etc..... We explain to SS that they are right, we don't need the CS money but that money is SS's and he has every right to equitable access to SpermClan resources that his three younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs have, there will be no more visitation than is ordered by the CO because the SpermClan is not a good influence on SS, etc, etc, etc......
SS has had very clear instruction on how a tru man of character does not spawn 4 out of wedlock children with three different women (two underage) then dump them off on SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandMa to raise or pay the CS for ...... like his BioDad has done.
Facts are not good or bad, they are just facts and you should stick with the facts with SS. If the "nasty" things you said about BM were factual reword them then discuss it again with SS. Appologize again for the nasty words but reiterate the facts of what he overheard you say were true. And back the facts up with evidence.
In the last several years SS-18 has gone to our Custody/Visitation/Support files several times to read the stuff in the file. This is usually after the SpermIdiot or SpermGrandMa have loaded SS's head with a bunch of revisionist history bullshit. The SpermClan hates our records because everytime they spout bullshit, we bare their asses with fact and the Skid has open access to the facts.
This is what we have found works the best for us in countering the toothless moron crap of the SpermClan.
Oh yah, and learn to enjoy baring BM and the WombClans indiot asses every chance they give you.
Facts are not good or bad but they can be a lot of fun when used creatively to shine light on the cockroaches in the blended family opposition.
All IMHO of course.
Best regards.
Currently his father has sole
Currently his father has sole custody with no visitation set as it is up to him as to rather he allows her to see him or not. I realize at 15 he is spose to hate me, it is the nature of the teenager. After all, how can you like someone who makes you do chores, follow rules, yells at you if you get bad grades or break rules. Especially when you have someone over in another corner throwing money and presents at you.
I predict that they are going to try to paint an unfit home picture and now that she is not drugged out or in jail anymore should have the right to raise her son for the next 2.5 years. Should not be a problem as he wants his freedom and her parents have so much money they can blow their noses with 20 dollar bills. Wonder how much child support she will sue him for. Lucky her never had to pay a dime for 13 years.
Thank you for the support and
Thank you for the support and advice. It really is nice to have a safe place to vent and not have to worry about hurting my stepson.