Well he's only been home 1 day and already I'm ready to choke him out
:jawdrop:
Told you he wouldn't stay the entire two weeks at mommies house...he practically jogged home..then proceeds to have a tinge of tude throughout the day - I payed it no mind because I could not care less what he thinks or how he feels, but today, he pissed me off royally -
1st of all, he was home today with my 11 year old while DH did a side job, and I was at work. Well, I called home a couple of times today just to check on how things were going...each time "he" answers the phone..and I would ask for my son, and my son would act irritated when he got on the phone..well the 2nd time I called, I asked for my son, and I heard my son ask "who is it" and there was no answer, but my son knew it was me. I can only assume SS from hell gave my son "the look" - you know what I mean the "The annoying bitch is calling again" look.
I was fuming...I started thinking, I'm annoying? HA buddy you wrote the book on annoying and if you don't like it, FUCK off! leave my house, good bye, see ya, adiós...this is my house, I pay the bills and the phone bill and if I want to call 100,000 times a day, I will....
THEN, he proceeds to tell us this evening that his mom's boyfriend wants him to bring all the xbox games he gave SS from hell back to their house, because they are only to be played there. UM, they don't even have an xbox! and secondly, the double standard here is quite sickening. My son has to share everything with that dip wad and the first thing he brings over here, they want back...I told SS from hell if the boyfriend is big enough to come over here and physically remove the games from this house, he's more than welcome to them...the nerve of some people....
I'm sorry but I don't see
I'm sorry but I don't see where the ss did anything. Sounds like your son wanted to act like a big cheese in front of your ss and your son is the one that gave you the "tude." Also, it's not your ss that is not sharing the games with your son. It is his stupid mother's boyfriend. Put the blame where it is due. God knows stepkids can piss us off all by themselves. This doesn't seem like one of those times.
It's just the entire
It's just the entire situation I am sick of, and I did put blame where it is due - I told SS to tell BF if he's big enough to take the games out of here, go ahead. Also, my son never acts like a "big cheese" when SS is not around, and the "tude" I was referring to was the "tude" SS had when he came from moms house...ETC not the phone situation, I never commented about his attitude when he answered the phone...
Also, I never said SS wasn't sharing the games...I said I'm sick of the double standard - it's ok to share with him, but his mom and family pitches a fit when the tables are turned...not once did I mention SS wasn't sharing....
Of course he doesn't do it
Of course he doesn't do it when ss isn't around. Its a very natural thing for kids to act that way when they are around others, whether it is your ss or one of your son's friends. To make matters worse, they turn into teenagers and don't want anything to do with you at all. God forbid their friends see them with you. LOL... my daughter used to make me give her a kiss three blocks from school. Once we got there, she jumped out without evening saying goodbye. She couldn't get away fast enough.
I certainly understand your frustration. I've been there myself. My stepkids are good kids, but they are not mine. I always felt very crowded when they were around and I felt my entire routine was off. Now, I make plans with friends I haven't seen in a while or get a really good book and a glass of wine and cart myself off to another room to enjoy my time and let their father entertain them.
Just breathe StepmonB19. You'll find that when you finally let go, the ss's visits will not be as bothersome. For me, it is a total break. My husband and I live alone. My daughters are both grown and gone. When his kids come, he has something else to do besides bother me...lol
LOL the day my SS doesn't
LOL the day my SS doesn't bother me, is the day hell freezes over...I wish I could tell you all of what I've been through with this kid, his mom, her array of boyfriends, her other kids, his dad, the list goes on and on...this goes way beyond simple frustration..I have literally had it with SS and all the drama that comes along with him.....Not sure if my marriage will survive another year if SS doesn't move out next year when he's 18, it's that bad....
This rant may seem quite superficial to you, but this is what I've been reduced to...I"m so fed up, I make mountains out of mole hills because all the frustration of 13 years of drama and crap I've allowed into my life keeps boiling up to the surface everytime that kids walks through the door...and it leaves with him....I have disengaged, and sorry, want nothing to do with my SS. Atleast I'm honest enough to admit it. I am not interested in family counseling, bonding, understanding, being patient, waiting for my ship to come in, or any other coping skill you can think of...I'm ready for him to leave, that is it, that is final...maybe you are not to this point, maybe you will never be to this point...every situation is different. But I can guarantee there are a lot more people in my shoes on here or close to it than you may realize..and the only good thing that can come out of my situation now, is hopefully I can help someone else, before they get as bitter as me..I hope to nip it in the bud for someone else, because it's too late for me.....
well,I know exactly where you
well,I know exactly where you are coming from.I raised a SD full time from the age of 7.Her BM abandonded her.We had our riffs,but nothing i couldn't handle.Until i became pregnant with twins in '08.Then all hell broke loose.She became Daddy's princess(she always was and i just didn't see it) and me and my babies were put on the back burner.I left my fiancee.I can't stand that manipulating little bitch.Amazing how skids can turn love for them into hate.And yes,right now,i do hate her.may God forgive me.and i will until i learn to heal.I was the only mother she had.BM was rarely ever around.I was good to her.I LOVED her!!One day she'll need a mother and i will not be there.she is 19 now.i have totally disengaged.from her and her father because he is responsible moreso than she.anyway,i get where you're coming from and i totally understand!!
No, it is not superficial at
No, it is not superficial at all. I guess your ss lives with you??? way different story than mine. Thankfully, I only see them a few times a year.
When I was married to my x, his daughter lived with us full time. I can honestly say that she played a big part in the demise of our marriage.
It certainly is not too late for you. you still have the choice to leave and begin to heal. I am sorry for the pain I can read between the lines of your last post.
Thank you all for the
Thank you all for the understanding words...and you know the most messed up thing about it all? I honestly think BM purposely sticks SS with us, knowing the problems he causes..because things never worked with her and DH, so why should it work for us? I feel this way because every time she gets a man, they hate SS. They don't even want him at the house, he walked one time over 15 miles from her house to ours because her BF told him he was going to choke him...so I guess I'm not the only one..but the messed up part is, her bf's never have to deal with him, she plays the sympathy card on daddy, and he gets put over here, in my lap...NOT FAIR!
I hate BM, she is a ruthless, gut rot, pathetic bitch..and I hope while I'm still breathing, that she gets everything she deserves, and then some..she is a poor excuse for a human being, and I've told her just that..and it was her decision to bring this kid to the Earth, I wasn't there at his conception, or birth, so why should I bare the brunt of the responsibility, just for marrying his dad???? hell, if marrying his dad comes with this much responsibility and obligation, what does actually giving birth to him come with?????? :?
So allow me to clarify...I hate SS, BM, Bm's BF, and the entire situation...and when I vent about SS, yes, a lot of the times BM has something to do with it, and maybe I do have alot of misguided anger, but my way of looking at it is, if he wasn't around, all the drama would go bye-bye...no SS, no BM, BM BF's etc...so I apologize for coming off as crazy, maybe I am..I've been driven to this point, so I better make some decisions quick before I turn into someone even I cannot stand....thanks again for the support, that's why I love this forum!!!!
I completely understand what
I completely understand what you are saying. It's difficult for me as well. I have a 14 year old SS who lives with us full time. BM was in prison for nearly 3 years (best 3 years of our marriage as she wasn't able to cause all of the problems like she is now that she is out). Whenever SS goes to visit BM he comes home with a horrible self-rightous attitude. He forgets manners, house rules, etc. I swear he and his mom dream up ways to make our lives miserable. He knows we do not allow mature games in our home (he's only 14). We also don't want him to be gaming over the internet with his x-box. Well we just found another 4 mature games and he got a connect for his x-box and has reset the family settings so he has been playing online and games not approved here. I think DH has finally decided we will just pack up the whole system and return it to BM. I'm sick of the dishonesty and blatant disregard for our house rules.
BM doesn't pay her measly $50/month in child support, until DH finally went in to report it so he received his first payment. She told a worker in the state where she lives that she has been making payments directly for the last 8 years and also pays half of the living expenses. As you can tell her dishonest ways that led her to prison have not improved. I wish she would be arrested and convicted again so she would be out of our lives again! I know that's awful for me to wish for my SS's BM but she helps create the majority of the drama and I've had it.