END OF THE LINE RELATIONSHIP OVER ADULT BABY

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Hi everyone im creating this so i can get sum feed back ASAP im 36 my wife of 4 years is 46 her adult stepdaughter is 27 she has two kids age 9 and 2 shes in a stable relationship with a guy and lives 200 yards from my home with my wife and my two kids age 13 and 10..The problem is this she is constantly round my home all the time she goes to work then from 12pm- 7pm and at 4pm her two kids get dumped on us.Then at 5.00pm her partner sits at home and watches TV after being in work and we have the kids then from 4pm until 7.30pm wene the kids mother gets home from work>>>However she duznt jst pik them up she will cum in the house and sit there until 9pm with the kids and then leave EVERY SINGLE DAY ITS A JOKE.....HOUSEFULL OR WAT.
She talks to me like a piece of shit treats her mother like dirt and yet my wife just molly coddles her like shes dun nofing wrong.from day 1 of geting married shes caused all kinds of problems acused me of not letting her see her other brother and sister wene in fact it was the kids who dont like her...Accused me of stalkin my 13yo SD because were very close she duznt like it jealous bitch.
She put my 13 yo SD on a holiday to spain then 2weeks before they go she takes her of it in favour of her mate.The wife sits on the phone all day txting her CRap and phones her 24 7 she is round my house all fucking weekend and wene i try and talk to the wife all she says is shes my daughter wat do you want me to do hahahaha i told her wat to do and she said she will always put her before me fuck it the burning question is AM I RIGHT TO LEAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP IVE TRIED TO SORT IT OUT IT DIDNT WORK.....SUM 1 TELL ME....

HELL YEA! Leave! WTF is that

HELL YEA! Leave! WTF is that moms problem!? Im am 27. I also have 2 children. I would NEVER think of asking my mother to watch my children everyday ESPECIALLY if my husband was going to sit on his a$$ at the house while my mom was watching them! I am an adult and I can take care of myself and my own children. And if I EVER went into my mothers house and treated her like crap or if I overstayed my welcome she'd tell me to leave! My mother didn't raise me to be like that. The problem is...your wife is actually playing a willful child, not the SD. It's sad but true. She lets her daughter run her right into the ground in order not to cause " waves". The daughter does it because shes a manipulative B****. She feels as if her mother owes her the world. Unfortunately their rolls have become reversed. Your wife needs to open her eyes, your SD needs to stay away, and you need to put your foot down. She asks "Shes my daughter what amI suppose to do?"....You say yes shes your daughter. Shes your ADULT daughter. She needs to start acting as one. If you cant stop treating her like shes 2 then we are going to have serious problems. It is pushing me away. If she seems to not care then it's best that you do leave for the simple fact...she WILL always choose her daughter...which leaves no room for you.

Many thanks good advice and a

Many thanks good advice and a great way of looking at the problem thank you so much

I would ask her this ....

I would ask her this .... "Are you around your mother all day? How old were you when you started living your own life?"
And then to end it I would say ..."Sorry, you are more married to your daughter than to me. I thought I was 1st on the list. I aren't. We need to get counselling so you get to set an appointment up. If you haven't done so in 6 weeks I am leaving you."

This is what my DH did with his 1st wife. She pulled further and further away from him. He decided that she wouldn't go to counselling if he arranged it. So he phrased it this way ... you want to remain married. I feel we need help. If you care about the state of our marriage, you have to do some of the work.

In my DHs case she eventually made the appointment and told the counsellor it was all in my DHs mind, she was fine, it is all his fault and she wasn't even staying to discuss making changes she wouldn't do. THAT was the final nail in the coffin of their life.

Your wife has allowed this

Your wife has allowed this drama to take place and she is the only one who can put a stop to it.

I think counseling is a good idea.

Tell her this isn't working for you. You need some evenings without the extra kids. There is a responsible adult that is just sitting on his butt after work everyday. It's not fair to you or the other children in the house. Ask her to at least make a compromise, something like every other day without the grandkids after 5 p.m. With no grandkids there, perhaps SD won't feel the need to stop by and hang out until 9 p.m.