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A question to SM's

tofurkey's picture

This is a question to the SM's that are on here, or if you were an SM at some point this could apply to you as well. Do any of you get a present or card from skid(s) on mother's day?

I don't, and I prefer it that way. Just curious if any of you do?

Jada's picture

No and hope I never do. SD is 9. Spoiled and constantly in the middle of me and my husband. I'm not her mom so don't want a darn card either!!

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Ha ha! 'The incident of 2006'. Sounds like it could me a movie title!

caregiver1127's picture

I always get one and SS has called me mom since the weekend we got married but when he treats me disrespectfully then the cards and the I love yous mean nothing to me. I would never treat my mother the way he treats me at times - I told him he could call me mom when I had stars in my eyes and I knew nothing about raising a step child and I was on my wedding glow - but sometimes I want him to call me by my name because it seems a slap in the face to me when he calls me mom and then craps on me.

He always send Birthday and Mother's day cards - and I get a gift at christmas usually a piece of clothing that is too small! lol

Tx mommy of 3's picture

I don't. I don't expect it as I am not his mom. I have 3 kiddos and a dh that make that day special for me. Plus ss is always with his mom on that day anyway. I would never want him to feel forced together me a card either.

Jouma's picture

My skids brought home their mothers day school projects straight to me. With my name already on it. I didn't expect it, and ALMOST felt bad for BM. Took me about 1/10th of a second to remember why it was that they thought about me before their BM.

I wouldn't feel bad if they brought these things to their mom, I would love for her to be a woman who would put their needs ahead of her desires, and just love these kids. But she is not at that point in her life, apparently.

I took the kids to buy BM a mothers day card. BM still doesn't know I was the one to take them, or to even come up with the idea to take them. But I did not do it for her. I did it because I was a step-child too, and I do not want my skids to feel any guilt later on for not doing something for her for mothers day. She sure as hell didn't deserve it, but I believe it was the right thing to do.

hismineandours's picture

I used to until the incident of "2007". I dont get acknowledged on my bdays, mom's day, or xmas.

Persephone's picture

Nope... Have never received a card from either SKID, ever--for any holiday. Nor have they ever wished DH & I a Happy Anniversary. They also do not extend good will verbally.

I am not alone... Last year SD spent the ENTIRE day with DH and our family.. and never wished him a Happy Birthday, or even a card... This year she sat through Father's Day gift and card opening from my kids and then went to her friends.. came home 8 hours later with a card... Placed it on his desk and went to bed.

EFING INGRATE.

hismineandours's picture

Yes-this is what gets me. I guess it is one thing for ss not to wish me any good will-but he does not with his father either. On Father's Day this year he sat while my children gave dh presents that they bought either independently or gifts/cards/things they made especially for him. He got him nothing and he said nothing. Last year we were on a camping trip and again nothing. Last year my 3 kids all gave 10.00 of their money to chip in and buy dh some sort of electronics. I had to tell ss to tell his father happy father's day. He does not acknlwedge his bday either. I dont think I have ever heard him tell his dad happy bday-BUT he was just announcing to us last visit how his mom and sister's bday is coming up soon. By the way he said that on my dd's bday-which he did not acknowledge either. Even though he attended her party, ate her cake, and generally participated in all bday related activities.

Most Evil's picture

I don't think I was this year, but in the past I have been acknowledged on Mothers Day (although I am stepmom), but oddly her real bio Dad does not get acknowledged on Father's Day?

I would rather not be recognized because it seems fake to me considering all that has happened, but would possibly feel a thaw in my feelings for SD if she would stop hurting her dad like that.

Yes, it hurts, if that is what she is trying for? very loving person, huh?

I am not sure if I will give her a gift for Christmas this year or not. I am really waiting for her to buy either of us anything, even a piece of gum - I am only interested in a reciprocal relationship at this point. SD is 19.

Frustrated New Wife's picture

Welcome Robinsnest! I am new to the site and I'm new to stepparenting as well and this site is a great site! I haven't been thru any of the holidays either, so hopefully they will go well for the both of us...LOL Smile

Frustrated New Wife's picture

You're welcome! From the sounds of it, we are gonna need all the luck we can get...LOL

Whateva's picture

Nope get nothing and cool with that,,,,,even though to be the "good guy" i did buy them gifts for their Bday...hmmmmmm something wrong with that picture

oh Whateva

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Yep, DH takes all the kids together and they do a big mother's day thing for us. This year we got flowers, cards from each child, some little fancy chocolates that the kids then ate most of, some tea cookies (I actually got one of those...then gladly forfeited the rest to the children...they were hard as rocks), a little ceramic vase for the flowers, and some sparkling cider that the kids drank out of "fancy glasses" (champagne flutes).

My favorite thing that we got was a placquard that SD8 made in school. It had bowtie pasta painted and glued around the edge and the inside said "Perfect as pasta, nice as noodles, moms I love you oodles and oodles." She is by far my most thoughtful kid.

Sadly her bm is a disappointment to her. She tells me all the time "Why can't you be my bio mom? You're my everything else mom, aren't you? I wish I was borned from you."

Me too, kid. Me too.

Couldawouldashoulda's picture

Oddly enough, for every Holiday, like Mother's Day, B-Day and Christmas, I (the SM), think up a very, very nice present for BM and take SS out and purchase it for him, and help him wrap it so he can give it to her. DH and I may hate her guts, but we will never allow SS to know that. I will admit that sometimes it's very hard for me.

priness80's picture

no i actually ahd to fight with my husband to get me a gift he is so dumb he asked me if he could get BM a gift befor he even thought of getting me one i cant wait until i have me twins

skylarksms's picture

I never have from my skids. Although for the first few Xmas's, I DID get gifts.

Then BM put the kibosh on that one!

TheBrightSide's picture

I do. Not the first couple of years when we weren't married, but the last two, yes...its always a drawing (which means more to me than a card). One of which she made in school (the one for BM was M.O.T.H.E.R. spelled out and for each letter was something like "M" is for makes cookies, or something like that. Mine was my name spelled out and each letter represented something I do. Great card)

In fact, truth be known, BM encouraged SD10 (she was 8 at the time) to ensure that she acknowledged me that day.

Darn it....this post is reminding me how lucky I am in so many ways!!! (lol)

steptwins's picture

First one - No. And I was pissed. Second - yes. A card & plant. Third - No. And I wasn't pissed b.c. I disengaged. For Fr. Day's I blew off roof for DH. Ya know, kill 'em with kindness. Gave DH $100, boys ea. $50 to spend at baseball game I gave them 3 tickets to attend. They can't change me - I'm nice. So I'm no longer affected by their personality defects.

stormabruin's picture

DH's kids have never acknowledged me for Mother's Day. Of course, DH has always made sure they spent Mother's Day with BM...as I believe he should. We have done projects at our house for them to take to her, so we've always put the Mother's Day focus on her rather than myself.

DH gets me a card for Mother's Day each year to thank me for being there for his kids when they really needed me. Smile

Bojangles's picture

That is a lovely and thoughtful thing for your DH to do. And helping them celebrate Mothers Day is a really lovely and thoughtful thing for you to do, especially when, if you're anything like me, there is a tinge of 'I'm doing mothering too, it would be really nice to have that acknowledged'. You sound like a great couple.

Mommyto1Stepto2's picture

No I do not get anything from SSs.

However, I do buy my stepdad a card and present every year.

VAStepMom's picture

No. not unless DH buys it. SD17 signs it and pretends she cares.

For that matter BM doesn't even make sure SD17 gets her father a card, or a birthday gift.

GIMEE, GIMEE, TAKE TAKE.... GIVES NOTHING.

She would be pssd... if she got nothing for Mother's Day. Even though, every birthday, her DD gets NOTHING from her.

She is pitiful. We are always making up for that.

Eagle Eye's picture

I never received anything from SS. Not Mother's Day, Christmas or my birthday and that is just fine with me. This year on my birthday I was carrying a giant cookie my co-worker made for me that had Happy Birthday written on it. SS asked why I had it and I looked at it again and he said oh ya and that was it!! Not even an acknowledgement!

He of course does the same to his own father! He was with his mom on Father's Day this year and DH had to call him to talk to him. The first words out of SS mouth was "what are you going to buy me for my birthday?" I was sad for my DH but he doesn't seem to concerned! My BD gave DH a little something for Father's Day and always goes out of her way for Christmas and Birthday! She is such a sweetheart!! Smile

Tx mommy of 3's picture

It doesn't bother me that ss doesn't acknowledge me on my bday or mother's day or anytime really! It bugs me when he doesn't acknowledge dh on Father's day or his bday. Then talks about bm's bday or whatever. Of course I usually do something special for dh from me and our bios. This year I had the bios choose a card for daddy. Ss didn't have a thing for him. Christmas the kids pick out a gift for daddy. Ss doesn't do a thing for dh. Father's day he kids choose a card for him. This year ss caught on and actually had a card for him!!! We were blown away. We even out it on our mantle!

Eagle Eye's picture

Sounds like what happens in our house! It really bothers me that SS doesnt do anything for his dad!! When you mentioned that your SS talks about BM's birthday it reminded me...my SS always talks about what he picked out for his step-father! Ouch!!

Persephone's picture

Oh yeah... our SKIDS talk about how their SF walks on water... Yet, He has two DV convictions for reaming the crap out of BM... 3 from a previous marriage... He's the golden boy alright... I have NEVER treated DH or their BM poorly... Or them... discipline, absolutely. Mental or physical harm....no way...

When precious wanted to live with us.. I put that in her pipe... How can you treat me and your father like sh!t... when we have never harmed you and are loving toward each other...

Tx mommy of 3's picture

That IS an ouch! Ss doesn't talk about his sf. I think they get along ok but only because they have to put up with each other. He used to treat sf like crap but idk about now.

purpledaisies's picture

I don't either but I do have to say that my skids do acknowledge my dh and my bdays and mother and fathers day. Most of the time no one has to remind them.

Rags's picture

Nope, I don't get a card from the Skid on Mother's day. But I get a card from the Skid on Father's day. Wink

I am his dad and have been since he was 1yo. I am the only full time and real dad he has.

The SpermIdiot is far from a father.

Best regards.