Cafemom and Ivillage. Ivillage is just scary if you go into the BM and Stepmom debate board. They hate us...

I know BM has been on ivillage because she has posted as much on her myspace. If BMs would keep their venting to their venting sites and act like sane, civilized people, maybe we wouldn't be here!

My gosh ok lol--I had to google it...I found that debate board...started reading a post about Gutwrenched-need moms and stepmoms...

I only read a few pages and I was in shock....i thought this board was rough around the edges..holly cow! I might go read some more out of amusement but ...OMG...LOL-unreal!!

I ran across this little gem that's basically the "I hate My Ex-Husband and his new wife" club. Here ya go: http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Hate-My-Ex-Husband/13266. Scroll down to the bottom where it lists the members and look for your crazy BMs!

I think I'm gonna join! }:)

Ugh. I know Sybil would be on there...if she knew how to use a computer. Thank heaven for small miracles. She can't look up our business name and get our business cell numbers to harass us. She ran out 1200 minutes in a little over a week, and I know half of them were to DH and SS prepaid phones. DH never answers, only texts occasionally returns a call--she whines and complains about how awful her life is for as long as he will let her. Way too long, IMHO. Trying to get him to cut off contact except for the kids, but he has a point, if she's found a way to travel and is in our area we need advance warning! After 8 years together he still has compassion for her still, 2 years later, even though he can't stand her. Go figure.

Thanks for the warning about iVillage. I do not need a bunch of psycho BMs telling me how to deal with this :). I think I'm doing pretty well so far, hope it continues.

Yeah I joined there, got eaten alive and was booted off rather quickly.

You'll be fine there as long as you understand that

1. BM is always right. No matter what.
2. SM is crap. No matter what.
3. SM cannot discipline.
4. SM cannot make rules for her own home. That is BM's job.
5. SM is NEVER to have the children on her own. Never. Ever.
6. BM calls all the shots about everything. Always.
7. If BM gets in a spot and desperately needs someone to pick up kids, take them somewhere or babysit and calls SM. SM should be eternally grateful for the opportunity to spend time with BM's wonderful children, who, of course, are a sheer delight to be around.
8. SM must not have children of her own. It will upset BM's darlings if they have to share their daddy with a new child.
9. BM's financial situation is more important than anything. SM must understand that and never complain when BM wants more money.
10. Preferably, SM will leave the home when skids are around because they need to be with daddy and should not have to compete for his attention with SM (who they refer to as 'shiny new wife'.
....

there are more but you probably get the picture

Oh please do not stir up the people at ivillage. I really dont want hoards of them on steptalk again. That was so unpleasant.

Let's add a few from "my" BM's logic.... :sick:

1. SM must not look down on me because I robbed a gas station in Maine where I was working. I have an IQ of -1878 so I'm not able to hold a job so I have to make ends meet somehow. Besides - they were dumb enough to put that deposit in my hands in the first place.
2. SM must not tell anyone I sell my Percocet on the street and that I fake an injury to get these jewels. I also won't be looked down on because I grow and sell marijuana. I hear they're gonna legalize it one day anyway.
3. SM must not get angry when I send my ex husband porn sites and invites to sex chat rooms. He was, after all, my husband at one time and I still feel I'm entitled to certain jollies.
4. SM must not get angry when my children talk shit about her...especially because I'm the one that stirs the shit in the first place. I'm bored with life due to not working, you see, and you can only sell Percocets on the street a certain time of day so I have to fill that void with some dramatic moments.
5. SM must overlook the fact that I'm uglier than shit that's sat out for days in the horsebarn. As long as SM looks at me as the sexpot I am...which is a clearcut rendition of 80PoundElviraOnCrack a/k/a Benjamin Buttons Trying to Survive Cancer a/k/a GolumFromLordOfTheRingsOnHisDeathBed. It took me a while to look this damn good!
6. SM must do anything and everything for my wonderful, darling, precious children...that way, I can critique it in every way, shape, or form. She must accept that I am better than her in every way. Even though I'm labled 'unfit' in a courtroom.
7. SM must sit and wait for my daughter to once again try to include me in family gatherings...after all, we are the original family. SM must also understand that my crying and moping...plus my wonderful rendition of how I have cancer..which I do not..can manipulate my kids to do anything for me! I can just cry out in some sort of exaggerated pain and my kids will defend me to SM that I'm alone and lonely..and the holidays are NO time to be alone.
8. SM must accept that my kids are now adults but I still have to call my ex husband to discuss their every need. He might hang up on me or yell out expletives when I call him..but deep down I know he has our children's concerns in mind. He just cusses me out to fool her...it's our way of talking concern about our kids.
9. SM must never expect her own daughter to become close or friendly with my ex husband..it's impossible that he could be a father figure to anyone else other than my kids. Besides..I can't spoil her mind like I have my own kids...so what the hell??
10. SM must never get angry that I opened up bank accounts in my daughter's name..let the overdraft fees run up in the hundreds..then let them close and ruin my daughter's credit. Just because she works and can balance a checkbook and uses her OWN name to do it is her problem.
11. Same with utilities..SM must never judge me for putting utilities in my daughter's name and running them up for a while..then move..then just not pay them. Why would I pay them when I've moved?? What kind of idiot does that??
12. SM will not judge me for advertising myself on a BDSM website..just because I like it rough does NOT mean I'm not a good mother. Just because I had my kids catch me in sexual acts with men I met from the site does NOT mean I don't care about their welfare. I want my kids to see I'm actively pursuing other relationships other than with their father..who would not take me back after I cheated on him a million times..jerk.

In other words..."I" rule the roost. SM will NEVER be as good as me. }:)

I took a peek and that is a terrifying bunch of satan brides.

Oh yeah. I joined and posted about our passport problems earlier this year. I gave basic info - dad and I wanted to take skids to Paris during regular holiday access. Mom agreed early in the year but kept losing forms, delaying the process, causing scenes, lying to skids, lying to counselor. Dad and I spent a fortune getting passports and finally had a judge and counselor come down on our side and allowing the children to go.

Those crazy BMs over there just made up a history to justify the BM's actions. They decided (and stuck to) their version that I was OW (I wasn't), BM had real reason to fear that dad wasn't going to bring kids back from Paris (ludicrous and not what mom worried about at all), dad didn't want to take them at all it was ME who was pushing for it (some even ran with the argument that dad wasn't going at all, I was taking them on my own), kids are not safe with me because I overstep, I try to claim them as my own and have them call me mommy (I don't), we would be breaking laws if we took them and the airlines should stop us (wrong again), we only wanted to do it to hurt BM (not true), I'm 'shiny new, younger, prettier, bimbo gf' (I'm 12 years older than BM), I have no experience with children (I have 4, 3 of which are grown)....and on and on. They refused to consider the facts at all, just made up this story that had no resemblance to truth and vehemently argued that I was evil and bad for doing the things that they made up out of thin air.

This is what they call 'debate'? Ludicrous. Those women couldn't debate their way out of a paper bag. They are just bitter, hateful bullies who, I'm sure deserve every bit of problems they get from their ex's and SMs.

The double standards are amazing too. One BM (who lost custody of her daughter) was claiming that the SM tried to kill her by letting the air out of her tires. Someone said something like 'that's stupid, you can't kill someone that way' so she changed the story to the SM had loosened her lug nuts. Keep in mind that she had not a shred of proof that SM did this but because she's an SM and everyone knows how evil we are no one questioned that an SM would actually go to BM's car and loosen her lug nets (or let the air out of the tires - depending on which version you are reading). Because she's BM not one single person questioned it or called her out on it but if an SM so much as says 'BM gave me an ugly look' they come up with 1000 reasons for it and why it's all SMs fault that BM did that.

I'm a weirdo BM from time to time, but I'm a SM who regularly "oversteps" with my SDs. I've taken a peek at ivillage and I wouldn't dare set foot there. They would think I was horribly abusive for making my SDs clean their rooms and pick up their trash.

I would be very interested to find out just to what degree of bat shit crazy does an "iVillage BM" have to be before she is called out for it on there? Hmmm.... }:)

To MY husband every time she gets a chance!!!