Coincidence??

I don't have all day to read everyones profile, but it seems to me that most of the "new" members that bash SM's, overkill about CS and can't believe some sm's don't worship their skids and bm and inlaws --- and many go on and on about old timers --- have been a member about 3 months and a day or two with little if any profile...

weird that new comers feel the need to come in and bash a site and it's existing members and thoughts...

if their step situation is so immaculate, why did they seek a "step parents" place to vent?

starfish's blog
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LOL well starfish this is why

LOL well starfish this is why us "oldtimes" don't come here very often anymore. All it is is a bunch of "HATERS"

I don't feel she sounds

I don't feel she sounds representative of any group. It is unfair of you to shame her for voicing an opinion.Why further perpetuate the hating by referring to other sites in a condescending manner?

You're matching what you call degradation by nemo with degradation of your own toward other sites.

As someone who has been a

As someone who has been a member of these boards for a long time, I understand exactly what Katrinkie is saying, and why she is saying it, and I totally agree. Strange that someone who has only been a member for a day is jumping into this head first without knowing any of the history behind it.

Trinks, don't let troubles

Trinks, don't let troubles steal too much time.

Loving you.. and thinking you are so fabulous from across an ocean.

Kat, the site i previewed

Kat, the site i previewed this am had a Katrinkie blog deleted..... i assumed it was the Admin who did it (since it was in reference to being disloyal), seems to be a very micromanaged, "elite" (wannabe's) like you said, site....

Very well stated. I totally

Very well stated. I totally agree with you DPW.

Katrinkie, try not to let it

Katrinkie, try not to let it bother you. People with over-inflated egos caused a lot of the problems on this site, and I definitely don't miss them at all. It is just a matter of time before it blows up over there, as well. The original poster who said we were all haters was not a long timer anyway, and she had her ass handed to her several times by that group that she is now "friends" with. Also, try to see the humor in it; if these people had truly moved on, why are they trolling this site that they were too good for? How funny, and sad at the same time.

Sorry for what? Let it roll,

Sorry for what? Let it roll, Kat..... no sweat off my balls...... i don't know why i think that is such a funny "nasty" saying..... anyway, i just found it interesting how

i, too, love this site and only happened to look at the other one out of curiousity....... and found it to be very grade school like, i don't think anyone there gets as much support, information and perspective as we do here.... it was more like "be my friend and tell me i'm always right and i will be your friend and do the same".

i'm happy and love my speeps here, and think ST supercedes any site i've visited in the past for step stuff... so we have some trolls, lurkers and trouble makers to deal with --- just because they're jealous.. let's take pride in it!! }:)

I get that you're frustrated

I get that you're frustrated and hurt.

I guess I'm selfish in that I don't want you to be either of those things...

And I'm just battling placing value in what others could or could not be doing is all.

I like Rainbow and Butterfly Trinks is all, and I don't think you're a "hater" or being unfair... just misunderstood.

Even if a few people say different... doesn't make it true.

I agree...

...interesting!

... Color me confused...

thanks everyone, but 6 day

thanks everyone, but 6 day old member blendedfam who sees so much more clearly than the rest of us olt timer numb asses....

i wasn't bashing anyone, i just found it strange for people so new to ridicule a site that has been very helpful too many, including myself for a very long time. even when people really had to tell me to rethink stuff -- just b/c they thought i was wrong and sometimes i was very wrong, i didn't feel the need to spew anger at the site and them b/c i was wrong or saw it differently.... that's why i'm here for support from others who may be in the same boat i am and for advice from those who have been thru it and have a new perspective for me...

Yes.. and I am still

Yes.. and I am still confused... Or just old..

Lol Stick darling, it's okay!

Lol Stick darling, it's okay! I'm confused 99.9% of the time anyway. I jus hate how no one realizes that this is a site for venting... and they have to talk smack about us SMs because we don't "LOVE" our SK's who, (Most of the time) treat us like shit.

I think I would like to call

I think I would like to call to order a meeting to declare a new word for the term "old timers".

It makes me feel... well... old.

Don't like senior member...

Hmmmmm.... I think I really like the term "numb asses".

not "numb asses" ~~ we can

not "numb asses" ~~ we can think of something much better....

but i agree, the term "old timers" suck, provided you're not 80, then maybe old timer fits!

I think we're the REALLY

I think we're the REALLY old-timers.

Like ancient ruins... and old furniture.

In the days of El Kabong.

thongs! too funny... my mom

thongs! too funny...

my mom can not understand the concept of thongs....... when i was an early teen, they were not even discussed/thought about/ considered, late teens and i'm thong mania, do we grow out of these ass crack lovers???

Cru, I was wondering how long

Cru, I was wondering how long it would take for us "numb arses" to bring up the thong thing......hhahaha LMAO....

OMG, El Kabong and

OMG, El Kabong and 'thong-chucking'.... LMAO!

Those were the days...

I'll stick my nose in on

I'll stick my nose in on this, thank God I found the site to vent and I am also open to any advice that I can get. The both of you have helped to make me feel like I'm not such a bad person after all. Nice to know that I am not the only one struggling with all of those little voices in my head telling me all of those things that I cannt ever say out loud.
from a newbee thank you.

yes speeps, that's why we're

yes speeps, that's why we're here..... to help, vent, read, share, advise, learn, support and find friendship, cyber it may be, but i truly trust more of the advice from of you guys in my shoes than some of my personal friends that just can't get it... they try, but they just can't truly understand the role as a SP and/or second wife.....

Yeah!!!! I don't care if

Yeah!!!! I don't care if there are haters, I still love this site and highly value the advice and experiences I read about. I have learned so much from advice and reading about everyone else's experiences and having a place to spew my own frustrations and anger has been incredibly helpful. I can be a loving SM because I have a place to vent!

Maybe if the new members

Maybe if the *new* members that are replying to peoples post where to write a blog or 2 or 10 about their own experiences/life with kids/skids then there advice might seem a little less like *bashing*. Just a thought

good suggestion. I find it

good suggestion. I find it much easier to *listen* to what someone is saying if I know exactly where they are coming from.

People that just lambast others who put themselves out there - I mean, we're all vulnerable when we blog or talk about our situations - but to tear them down for coming here and looking for help without putting themselves out there, I find it hard to validate anything they say.

totally agree

I am a new member and have

I am a new member and have written about what I have been dealing with. I don't live with my BF at the moment. If you read my blogs you will see I am dealing with the similar problems. I am with him because I love him. I am dealing with his kids by choice not because I HAVE TO. I have learned so much by reading everyones input and from some comments left on my blog. I at the moment refuse to talk, see or associate with my BF's teen until she starts respecting me and learns manners. If she chooses not to change then that is her lose not mine. My BF knows how I feel and understands. His EX has taught his teen to disllike me. No problem if that is what she wants. I will not tolerate this type of behavior from his teen or EX. Luckly his EX stays away and when she sees me doesn't say a word or looks at me. Which is exactly how I like it. I am my own person and do not require approval from my BF or his EX least of all from his kids. He loves me for who I am and stand for. Sorry for venting just tired of the SM's and future SM's being mistreated by the "B" EX's. Thank you and everyone for this wonderful site.

Preach it. I'm with you.

I'm way new and I try not to

I'm way new and I try not to bash anyone. I've made A LOT of mistakes with my spouses, GFs, and sKids, and I know it's just a challenge and nobody knows your situation and all the little things in it until and unless they've lived it, which they haven't.

I understand the pain of being mistreated by a spouse because of the ex and I know about being mistrusted and crapped on by the sKids.

In the long run I know that I'm not tucking my sKids in tonight and that breaks my heart. I come here to vent a little and ask for advice and maintain my sanity. I think we all do and I hope everyone respects that on some level we're all hurting for one reason or another and are here to help, not criticize, each other.

Chill pills... all around...

Chill pills... all around... take one and pass 'em down.

BTW... why does my thing say new ... i have been on here 15 weeks short of a year?? Dunno.. but eat a chilly.. their yummy.

I'm up for one of those chill

I'm up for one of those chill pills.

With a chili.

Ohhhh... and wash it down with a Chilly Willy.

skids have been gone since

skids have been gone since last wed (not the day before yesterday ~ the one before that) and not due back until next wednesday, so i have had no need for a chill pill! WAHOO!!!

margarita it is!! i really

margarita it is!! i really should count my blessings more often... skidfree is a great blessing, but the least of how many i truly have....

btw, ST and all of you wonder speeps are a huge blessing!

I'm a newbie and I LOVE this

I'm a newbie and I LOVE this site and everyone who takes the time to offer their advice!!

Hey numb ass (aka oldish

Hey numb ass (aka oldish timer) I like it.

It's very "Be the change you want in the world!"

Well, there are currently

Well, there are currently over 30 replies to this, so just to reply to the OP's observation:

I'm not so sure that many of these are actually new members. I (for one) changed my name when given the option by Admin to change it by 06/01. Luckily I did change my screen name before the option was taken away. DH knows of this site and I didn't want him to know who I was on here anymore. I never deleted any blogs though, so those who have been here for a while probably know who I 'used to be'. My old screen name was Nomorefaking1.

I've noticed, too, the influx of 'new' members. I also remember the trolls that come here from other sites just to start a sh!t storm with our members. They're pretty good at it. When I read a blog and don't recall who the member is, I'll look up their bio. More often than not anymore, they're 'new' members who seem to know a LOT about the bloggers who have been here for a while. These I'm assuming are really 'old' members in disguise. I could be wrong though.

But don't forget the old 'ivillage' garbage, too.

yeah, we're too dumb to

yeah, we're too dumb to figure out who they are! "der, which way did he go?"

Sheesh, they're not just from ivillage, though some of them have profiles there too!

I would hate to see a

I would hate to see a division of spirit between the new folks and the old folks. I'm a new person and I came here to get advice and support from people who have been through what I'm going through and if everyone looked at me as a "new person" and didn't want to help then I'd be back where I was before I found this place, which is talking to a counselor every so often and going weeks in a deep funk.

Let's just all agree to get along, new or old, and be respectful, so we can all get the advice and help we need.

Not sure if that was in

Not sure if that was in response to my reply, but JIC, I'm not saying that I don't try to help. Speaking for myself only, I just read the blogs carefully and try to respond if I can add something. But I'll also admit that I look at them with a bit of suspicion sometimes. Can't help it.

NO I didn't actually read

NO I didn't actually read your post (sorry!!!) and was just replying to the original post. I looked at iVillage and that place was a cesspool of vitriol and hatred. I never even registered! I'd hate this place to get like that.

I'm just a new person trying to get a little peace of mind via the thoughts and opinions of strangers. I appreciate all y'all do to make things better for everyone else, newbies included

I will have belonged to ST 4

I will have belonged to ST 4 years in September. I have seen a lot of people come & go. We need to be supportive, because being a step parent & second wife is one of the toughest jobs we will ever have.

IMO opinion I think that after the most recent & degrading debacle people are more sensative about things. Some people just wantto bitch & get it off there chests, some people want help & support. My thought is when we find the need to strike out & be nasty to people ( and that does happen) that maybe we need to take a long hard look at ourselves & maybe some of the drama in our own lives are due to our own doing. Some people due try to stir up trouble, the best thing we can do is ignore them. How sad your life has to be to go look for fights in the cyber world.

Enough of the old & new business we are people who need each others help & support in making it through the world of steparenting.

(No subject)

'My thought is when we find

'My thought is when we find the need to strike out & be nasty to people ( and that does happen) that maybe we need to take a long hard look at ourselves & maybe some of the drama in our own lives are due to our own doing. Some people due try to stir up trouble, the best thing we can do is ignore them. How sad your life has to be to go look for fights in the cyber world.'

LIKE. No, LOVE!!

I agree sweetthing. Being a

I agree sweetthing. Being a stepparent is hard!!! I know for me I come here because I want help and advice. I want to hear what people have done to make their situations a little bit easier. But I know for some others, they come here becaase they want to vent. They want to say here what they don't want to say in real life. Let's just support each other!!!

Totally agree with you ST, I

Totally agree with you ST, I totally agree.

I tried reading some of the

I tried reading some of the iVillage stuff you refer to once. I nearly lost my lunch. I'll only go back when I want to feel very, very ticked off. Hasn't happened in nearly a year.

.

Starfish and others, I

Starfish and others, I agree... I've been on the site a while, not 3 years or anything.. I also viwed this site for a couple weeks before I was brave enough to enter with my situation and thoughts I've found so much help from this site. I don't think I've judged anyone yet.. Yes maybe sometimes I'm " a little firecracker" lol, but I just make points clear when needed about myself... I love the people on here, and maybe one day I will be an old time or numb ass xoxo

Some of my favorite people in

Some of my favorite people in this world are "little firecrackers."

Myself included.

i really never meant "old

i really never meant "old timers" to be an issue, i just noticed that most of those who had nothing to do but bash everyone who responded to their post happened to be 3 months or less and very limited if any on their profile....

this morning i visited another site someone had mentioned in a different blog and WOW ~~ could you possibly copy Step Talk anymore???...... so, like someone else mentioned, these bashing members are familiar with many of our situations and know how to stir the drama pot here and that's what they are doing... plus the ivillagers and pathetic trolling bms.....

in my book, we're all spring chickens on ST.

I don't believe your comments

I don't believe your comments were meant to degrade anyone. I have also noticed posts from particular members that were attacking and negative towards sparents. This forum was created as a support tool for sparents who have difficulties with their skids and wish to share with other likeminded people. I say let's keep it that way and let the guilt trippers who think sparents are bunch of haters go somewhere else.

I hope you don't think "old

I hope you don't think "old timer" is an issue for me.

I was just making light of the situation.

I actually think "numb ass" is flippin' hilarious. There is so much truth to it, because I think you do become numb after a while.

I think disagreements are great. I've said a hundred times before that I've learned far more from someone who disagrees with me than I have from someone who simply agrees.

I hope that you'll become "number" (not older!!) and not let any perceived bashing get to you so much.

I love the "numb arse"

I love the "numb arse" thing.... !!! I really do!

Maybe we've all aligned our

Maybe we've all aligned our periods.

I think some of us don't have

I think some of us don't have that problem any more! best thing I ever did!

"I've learned far more from

"I've learned far more from someone who disagrees with me than I have from someone who simply agrees."

so true!

and as far as spring chickens on ST, i meant i didn't want to negate the value of our newest members.... i learn a new perspective on things every day from reading what my fellow steppers post..... and i even gain something from the bms side on here, just my bm doesn't seem to have the class and style as the ones on ST.

Am I an Old Time Numb Ass? I

Am I an Old Time Numb Ass?

I prefer the term veteran. I survived the SD's teenage war and have disengaged from adult SD's drama campaign.

I've learned a few good lessons and tactics on the way and will offer them to any vet or newbie who requests advice.

I can still learn from others and request advice from time to time.

I would suggest that if you don't agree with a person's "vent" and they clearly are just venting and not asking for advice. Why not leave it alone or at the least not harshly judge them? For the ventor's if someone has taken your blog and responded in a way that is offensive to you - delete their post and if it is truly a tasteless response - flag as offensive.

I am the oldest "Old Timer"

I am the oldest "Old Timer" there is. Right? Older than dirt maybe? I know who's old and who's not

That's it. I just wanted to comment.

Dawn

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