ugh-the pee machine strikes again
Soo ss 12-wet the bed again. Now, if you ladies remember I've been trying to get dh to do something about this for a long time sooo last visit he did purchase ss a plastic sheet and pullups so he wouldnt ruin the futon, carpet and make a nasty smell. So last night (and I am pretty sure my dh said something to him about his bed right as ss was going to bed)-he doesnt bother to wear a pull up or put the plastic sheet on his bed. So of course he wets. He then lets it set for hours before he even thinks of cleaning it up. when I ask him about why he would need to clean it if he used his stuff-he said "I can't find the plastic sheet and I didt know we had pullups". I calmly told him the plastic sheet was wherever he left-noone else uses it as the pullups where exactly where they were last time as again noone else needs them. We have some of his money that we are holding(helping him save) and i told him if he didnt startfrrrrrrrrrrrr taking care of things appropriately I was going to take his money to pay for a new futon and new carpet. Well after that he just stood there. I let him stand there for a few minutes and told him to go clean his mess-he said he couldnt because there was no spray bottle for the odoban. I said well use water and towel. His response was, "why didnt u just tell me that?" so I said, "do I really need to tell u that" I told him again U have to stop it-we have the things that you need to not make a mess and you need to use them. Then he told me to "stop it, stepsister has a friend over" (by the way I wasnt yelling I was talking in a normal voice and the girls were not in the room-but I said-start taking care of things and there will be no need for me to say anything!
Then he stomped off to his room and hasnt come out. Also, this morning he was in the bathroom running the water in the sink for like 10 minutes-I yelled back and asked what he was doing and he said he was washing himself-I said what are you washing-he said his feet, his hair, etc-I said you dont wash those things in the sink-u need to wash them in the shower. Which he again turned on the water and then said he was trying to brush his teeth. (this is the kid that hasnt brushed his teeth in about 9 months at our house) UGH!!!!
He is aggitating you. You
He is aggitating you. You need to get DH to step in. I think you should make him wear the pull ups so it doesn't continue to be a problem. No way do the pull ups not bother him, he is being passive aggressive and trying to make you think they dont bother him. He sounds just like my sd, the worse kind of personality to have to deal with. I hope you get more responses here cuz im buzzled with this passive aggressive defiant behavior.
Then I had to go tell him to
Then I had to go tell him to wash his blankets which he just sat there an when I said it again-he said "in a minute"-I said no, now-to which he finally got up like it was a big ordeal and took his blanket out from my son's bed where he had wadded up and stuffed it under there and said-It doesnt even smell! ugh! he's so nasty!
This is silly you doing the
This is silly you doing the bad guy routine with this 12 year old kid. Please, please, tell Dad that he is to take over. Tell him you are no longer doing anything. Any item the kid doesn't clean up you're just leaving it there and Dad can take care of it.
Listen - you're getting stuck with this because some women can't stand to have a mess. It's easier to clean it up than fight the battle or in your case you'll fight the battle until its cleaned up. You've got to get over that and force yourself to let the mess sit.
Once these two kids - adult and 12 - realize you're not stepping up anymore the older one will grow up enough to take on the younger one. And the most important part - once you're out of the battle his behavoir no longer has an effect on you and it loses a lot of its punch. Presumably once Dad gets involved he'll handle the kid more forcefully but whatever Dad does its his problem.
In effect by staying in the fray you may actually be making it worse.