Is DH really the father of SS10?
Ok, I am just thinking out loud, but it's been something in my mind for years. Every time I look at SS10's pic or now him in person he does not look like my DH or anyone on his side of the family tree. I think of his Skanky BM and he looks a bit like her and NOTHING like DH's side. DH's side has strong traits. My BD looks just like him. If anyone said that she is not his kid it would be a lie.
Do any of you ever think that about thier Skids? I know we all hope it 
but do you ever really think it?
I thought of doing a secret paternity test just to see if I am right. I would like to see if she was really skanky back then or just skanky after the fact....hehe. BM is not in the picture anymore so it would almost be a void answer and would break my DH's heart if it came back as he is not the father, but it would be nice to know.
Anyone out there ever "wonder"?
I have wondered this on more
I have wondered this on more than one occassion. Especially since BM was sleaping with several people at the time of the pregnancy.
When I look at DH's daughter, I don't see anything of him. She is a spitting image of her mother. Looks nothing like my DH. Doesn't look anything like anyone on DH's side of the family come to think of it.
But, DH said that he did get a paternity test done and came back positive.
From time to time I just really still can't believe it and wonder since BM worked for the hospital she gave birth in and who did the paternity test , if it wasnt entirely an impossible thought that she could have done something with the test. orrrr maybe i'm just crazy lol. Maybe a little of both!
See now that wonder is an ok
See now that wonder is an ok wonder. hehe. You REALLY want to "wonder" about the bad ones so they would go away and stay with BM only...hehehe.
Tofurky: I wouldn't put it
Tofurky: I wouldn't put it past a crazy BM to actually change test results. What did they give him a sheet of paper saying you ARE the father? how hard would it be to change that? They find ways to get what they want and need done.
I could probably do that myself. That would def. be in the back of my head all the time.
Blender; That would drive me nuts too. It's like, how could you NOT wanna know. I would wanna know either way. It would probably kill them to know that and embarrass them too. That she took him for a fool and he believed it all these years. But it's still the same thing if she knows it and he doesn't. She is playing him like a fool still. I would rather know especially if he is a problem child. I would def. wanna know. Bye, bye thorn. It's not fair that b/c of SS he wont have a kid with you. I would get the test done. Do it secretly and then annoymously send it to DH in the mail and put a diff name and address on it...hehehe. It's so sneaky and under-handed, but sometimes these things need to be done if they are ruining something else. Just my point of view.
I'm not quite sure exactly
I'm not quite sure exactly what they gave him as documentation to prove paternity but just thought it could deff be possible her shifty ass to do something since she worked at the damn hospital.
Plus she put DH's last name as kid's last name on birth certificate before paternity was even proved. I think that's a little strange.
Also , since we are all on
Also , since we are all on the subject, I wonder if a test was done and it proved that someone who did think they were the father actually wasn't the father, would BM need to pay back all those years of CS?
It was sent twice....sorry
It was sent twice....sorry
Well-being in a very similar
Well-being in a very similar situation...I will say this. It is absolutely deplorable and wrong to do this test secrectly without his consent. It is wrong on every level.
Men have little to no choice as it is when it comes to children-and we would encourage doing one additional thing that takes away their choice to decide because we think we have the right to do so?
If you and he have doubts-talk it over, you can give your suggestions and why you think it would be best if they knew the truth...but the decision is his to make-and should be supported either way. If they decide to test or not...what they do w/the results of the test.
I think not testing if they have doubts keeps them in this constant state of distress and "purgatory"...and can ruin them emotionally. Taking action towards the truth will give them their power back to decide how to proceed at least. This has been my argument w/the bf. But please don't do a secret test-that's his decision to make. That undermines everything a relationship is supposed to be.
I have to say I thought
I have to say I thought LONGGGGGGGGG and hard about doing it secretly. I couldn't go through with it, but it's always in the back of my mind. I think it would break DH's heart as he is his only son. We have a daughter, but that's his son. It is wrong on many levels and when you deal with a BM and an annoying Skid for any amount of time, you tend to stoop to that level also. For a couple reasons. A) You have something to throw in BM's face, like HAH you skank B)you and DH would never possibly have to deal with Skid or BM AGAIN C) the thought of being back to a normal family does come across and D) why deal with the stress when you don't have too. I think men don't do it b/c they are afraid it's going to be false as to where the SO/DW wants to know b/c it drives them nuts having to deal with drama when it might not be needed.
Overall, secret paternity is it sneaky? yes, much needed? yes, overall should DH/SO do it? yes. Not to say that it wouldn't be nice to do it secretly and see the results you are NOT the father.
No it would not be "nice to
No it would not be "nice to know".
Drop this line of thinking before something slips and your husband is wounded for life.