Well, I tryed to text skids about the wedding. There reply is who is this ? And the other was, nothing to be happy about ! WTH ??? I am beside myself with this.
Blended, I don't want them to like me. Just respect their mom and her wishes.Grow up ?? I don't think I need that. They need to hear that. I am too old to take shit from some snot nose kid that thinks they can do and say what they want.
I am not looking for me to be happier. It is their mom that is unhappy. I am not their dad, nor do I want to be.They shit all over her. Three against one. Not fair that I watch them rip her to shreds on a time when she should be happy.As long as they are happy, who cares about anyone else ? That is the problem with todays kids, they talk alot of shit and believe they are entiled without any worries.Well, their day will come and come soon.Yes, I will let it go. They are not worth anything at this point.
You are going about this the wrong way and creating problems for your STB wife. These are her children and a huge part of her life. Your continued involvement will only make a bad situation worse.
I strongly suggest you STOP interfering with your STB wife's relationship with her children. Like it or not, they consider you an outsider and from their perspective you have no business making demands on them. Stay away from the situation and let your STB wife deal with her own children.
If your STB wants her children at her wedding in misery, let HER be the one to approach them with it. They're probably angry & pissed because YOU are being pushy. They're HER kids. Let HER deal with them. For some reason, they don't care. You can't make them. Put your energy into something productive. It can't be helpful to your wife to keep this going.
You need to disengage here. I actually agree with BlendedFam. Do not engage in any conversation with her kids. They are not marrying you. They don't like it. They may come around someday, they may not. But, you need to step back and leave them alone. Let your SO deal with them. It is in her hands not yours.
My dad remarried and I actually have learned to like my stepmom, but she knows her place in our lives. She doesn't engage with us. I make all the calls to my dad. I talk to her on the phone, now. But, at first this would have been an uncomfortable situation.
Why create drama. Marry their mom, if they are not there it is their loss. If your wife feels differently let her handle it. If the Sk's need something, don't do it. Easy. Don't make this so hard.
I agree, I am stepping back. Let them torture her, ruin the house and thier lives. Then, they will see what they missed was a great guy. By then, I will not want to even see them. It has been two years of the same crap from them. I have never seen this behavior in my 45 years on this earth. Their dad would never let them behave like this.I am stepping waaayyyy back.
"but, the question is, how many times to get let down ?"
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Only as many as you allow.
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So, you asked this question less than an hour ago, & you just allowed it to happen again. Her children are old enough to make their own choices. You aren't helping things. You aren't making things better. You're adding as much to the contention & drama as her children are. You are as big a problem here as they are.
First of all, I’m so sorry the two of you are having such a crap time planning your happy day… I totally understand your wanting to make things right for your fiancé to have her dream wedding day with you… but it seriously sounds like there’s not much you can do in this case. These kids sound old enough to make their own decision… if their own mother can’t talk them into attending her wedding (for whatever reasons) I don’t see you talking them into it any time soon. The others may be right here… maybe back off and let the chips fall where they may.
What does your fiancé have to say about all of this..?
Why is her relationship with her own kids so strained that you’re taking up the brunt of it?
Good luck brother… take your lady away and have a private, romantic ceremony!!! You’ll be glad in the end to have as little negativity around the day as possible. Cause if those kids DO end up attending they’ll ne shooting bad mojo daggers at your back the whole time. Who needs that?
I think Moon Child is right and better yet was able to convey her thoughts quite pleasantly. I know you are hurting and it hurts you to see her children hurting her but you may need to back up from the situation and let it play out.
Also, texting may be a common form of communication especially among the young but it is also a very detached impersonal way to communicate. It's much easier for someone to disregard your feelings and be ignorant to you by electronic means. Some topics are better left face to face I think.
Step, what pisses me off to no end, that when we were kids, if you disrespected a adult, you would get your butt kicked ,and you not dare talk stupid things and act like the way they act. Take that I am there soon to be step dad out of the equation. I am old enough to be their father, and you treat people that are older then you like that ? What ever happened to thank you , and no thank you ? I am old fashion or what ? At 44 , I find that todays younger generation has no respect for anyone ? Not all ,but most. They feel entiled and whats in it for me ? I have known her mother way before they were even thought of. Even before their father came into her life.I have always respected them and even tryed to do as much for them as possible. Now, I see them for what they are. Spoiled brats with no respect. I will continue to disengauge from now on. Thanks for your imput.
Blended, I don't want them to
Blended, I don't want them to like me. Just respect their mom and her wishes.Grow up ?? I don't think I need that. They need to hear that. I am too old to take shit from some snot nose kid that thinks they can do and say what they want.
Disengage means they need a
Disengage means they need a kick in their a$$. Yeah I get it more then you think.
I am not looking for me to be
I am not looking for me to be happier. It is their mom that is unhappy. I am not their dad, nor do I want to be.They shit all over her. Three against one. Not fair that I watch them rip her to shreds on a time when she should be happy.As long as they are happy, who cares about anyone else ? That is the problem with todays kids, they talk alot of shit and believe they are entiled without any worries.Well, their day will come and come soon.Yes, I will let it go. They are not worth anything at this point.
Is your STB wife not capable
Is your STB wife not capable of speaking for herself? Why can she not handle this?
You are going about this the
You are going about this the wrong way and creating problems for your STB wife. These are her children and a huge part of her life. Your continued involvement will only make a bad situation worse.
I strongly suggest you STOP interfering with your STB wife's relationship with her children. Like it or not, they consider you an outsider and from their perspective you have no business making demands on them. Stay away from the situation and let your STB wife deal with her own children.
If your STB wants her
If your STB wants her children at her wedding in misery, let HER be the one to approach them with it. They're probably angry & pissed because YOU are being pushy. They're HER kids. Let HER deal with them. For some reason, they don't care. You can't make them. Put your energy into something productive. It can't be helpful to your wife to keep this going.
I am not being pushy. It has
I am not being pushy. It has been two weeks and no talking to me , but, when they need something, I am the one to call.
You need to disengage here.
You need to disengage here. I actually agree with BlendedFam. Do not engage in any conversation with her kids. They are not marrying you. They don't like it. They may come around someday, they may not. But, you need to step back and leave them alone. Let your SO deal with them. It is in her hands not yours.
My dad remarried and I actually have learned to like my stepmom, but she knows her place in our lives. She doesn't engage with us. I make all the calls to my dad. I talk to her on the phone, now. But, at first this would have been an uncomfortable situation.
Why create drama. Marry their mom, if they are not there it is their loss. If your wife feels differently let her handle it. If the Sk's need something, don't do it. Easy. Don't make this so hard.
I agree, I am stepping back.
I agree, I am stepping back. Let them torture her, ruin the house and thier lives. Then, they will see what they missed was a great guy. By then, I will not want to even see them. It has been two years of the same crap from them. I have never seen this behavior in my 45 years on this earth. Their dad would never let them behave like this.I am stepping waaayyyy back.
"but, the question is, how
"but, the question is, how many times to get let down ?"
----------------------------------------------------
Only as many as you allow.
--------------------------------------------------------------
So, you asked this question less than an hour ago, & you just allowed it to happen again. Her children are old enough to make their own choices. You aren't helping things. You aren't making things better. You're adding as much to the contention & drama as her children are. You are as big a problem here as they are.
Hey there pat… First of all,
Hey there pat…
First of all, I’m so sorry the two of you are having such a crap time planning your happy day… I totally understand your wanting to make things right for your fiancé to have her dream wedding day with you… but it seriously sounds like there’s not much you can do in this case. These kids sound old enough to make their own decision… if their own mother can’t talk them into attending her wedding (for whatever reasons) I don’t see you talking them into it any time soon. The others may be right here… maybe back off and let the chips fall where they may.
What does your fiancé have to say about all of this..?
Why is her relationship with her own kids so strained that you’re taking up the brunt of it?
Good luck brother… take your lady away and have a private, romantic ceremony!!! You’ll be glad in the end to have as little negativity around the day as possible. Cause if those kids DO end up attending they’ll ne shooting bad mojo daggers at your back the whole time. Who needs that?
I think Moon Child is right
I think Moon Child is right and better yet was able to convey her thoughts quite pleasantly. I know you are hurting and it hurts you to see her children hurting her but you may need to back up from the situation and let it play out.
Also, texting may be a common form of communication especially among the young but it is also a very detached impersonal way to communicate. It's much easier for someone to disregard your feelings and be ignorant to you by electronic means. Some topics are better left face to face I think.
Above, you are right who
Above, you are right who needs them anyway. I have their mom who will always have my back. Who needs the drama ?
The best revenge is to be
The best revenge is to be happy. Enjoy your wedding and continue on with your life without their approval, you don't need it.
I don't get mad. Their loss.
I don't get mad. Their loss. What goes around comes around.
Step, what pisses me off to
Step, what pisses me off to no end, that when we were kids, if you disrespected a adult, you would get your butt kicked ,and you not dare talk stupid things and act like the way they act. Take that I am there soon to be step dad out of the equation. I am old enough to be their father, and you treat people that are older then you like that ? What ever happened to thank you , and no thank you ? I am old fashion or what ? At 44 , I find that todays younger generation has no respect for anyone ? Not all ,but most. They feel entiled and whats in it for me ? I have known her mother way before they were even thought of. Even before their father came into her life.I have always respected them and even tryed to do as much for them as possible. Now, I see them for what they are. Spoiled brats with no respect. I will continue to disengauge from now on. Thanks for your imput.