Is This Wrong?
Forums:
I've been a SM for two years and the ex-wife never stpos harrasing us or trying to tear our marriage apart.
This hurts me;
EVERY thing addressed is never discussed with me even though I have paid the bills and cared for SD6 for over two years?!
Psycho ex-wife says things like this to my husband;
SD wants to see you only. YOU can come pick-up sd6...SD6 can come over to YOUR house, (?????) SD 6 wants to visit YOU and YOUR mom.
Other stuff also. This is ALSO MY home, you know? I feel like I just linger in the shadows somewhere like some ghost.
What did I do so wrong? BM treats her free babysitters better than me, AND calls them by name.
Thanks- this stings.
SSM
You've got her husband and
You've got her husband and her kid. She's always going to be a bitch to you. Those are the breaks. It sucks, but you just have to suck it up and be the bigger person. NOW, if HE starts letting it hurt your relationship with him, that's another issue, but as long as he's on your side and doing all he can to be a good husband, you're just going to have to accept that she's going to be a bitch until the end of days.
Thanks for the reply but this
Thanks for the reply but this is MY husband. I actually already have a grown kid so there is no need to become "mom." No thank you.
I actually hate being this miserable. Although my husband assures me 24/7 that he loves me like no other, in between the ex-b*tch and her rude kid, I'm not so sure if I want this much longer.
It's nothing but a pain in the ass and it NEVER ceases. This is even after the fact that husband has put his foot down,over and over.
I've been nothing but civil with this rude monster. As far as the " you and your home- not*" I'm getting tired of the insults.
Thanks for letting me rant~
Honestly, some women are just
Honestly, some women are just going to be that way. -shrug- I know it sucks, and it's frustrating as all hell, but at the end of the day do you really want this woman to have that much control over your emotions?
It sounds like your DH cares for you very much and is on your side - keep that up. Vent to him when you need to and ignore her. Snarky comments from someone whose opinion you ordinarily probably wouldn't give a rip about are not worth your emotional energy. You can't control what she says or does, you can only control what is going on under your roof.
If you are unable to do that, would it make you feel better and if it could be done/said in a good way, if your DH can reinforce that it's your home too? When he refers to his house, see if he'd be willing to start saying, "My wife (your name would probably sound more natural, though) and I's house," in general conversations to drive the point home. Other than that, I think the best thing to do would be to roll your eyes and focus your attention on things that are more important.
I needed to read what you
I needed to read what you wrote for my own situation. Thanks. I am letting my DH's BM get to me. Her negative shitty attitude bothers me. She is seriously nuts. She was all fake and nice in the beginning... Ugh.... I am trying to be a good person and not let it effect me or my relationship with my DH. But it is. I even feel sick over it. She is all about games.
Sorry to hear, a bitchy BM
Sorry to hear,
a bitchy BM always makes a tough situation even more difficult. The most helpful thing, I find, is a DH who is supportive and who backs you up, listens to your feelings and acknowledges them. My BM is actually pretty friendly and we get along fine, but I know the feeling of being an outsider if your DH doesn't back you up, sometimes.
Regardless of what any of us
Regardless of what any of us stepparents do, the bio parent is always going to feel they have some connection to the other bio parent because they had a child together.
My husband has long excused his giving money and cars to his ex because he wanted his son to have the things he needed while he was with her. But now that SS is an adult its because he feels sorry for her.
I feel your pain.. I'm
I feel your pain.. I'm currently batteling something quite similar.. Wondering some of the same things you are.. I have learned from many of the women on this site, and with my own situation, it will take A LOT of time... And god willing, PATIENCE... And don't get me wrong, I am NOT one to be patient.. I'm trying. And I know personally that it HURTS to feel that we come 2nd to the BM or EXwife... And as of late, my BF is beginning to realize that I need to come first, and he is working on doing the right thing, and putting my thoughts and feelings first. Have you tried talking to your husband about this? How your feeling?
I heard a lot about
I heard a lot about disengaging from the skids, but the one thing (and maybe the only thing) I feel I did right was disengage from BM. There is no reason that you should even know that she says these things. Don't communicate with her. Ask your husband not to relay her nasty comments to you. Seriously, it'll make your life MUCH easier.
He's the one that married/divorced/had a child with her (whatever the case may be). Not you. You did not invite her into your life at all. So quit letting her in.
Don't expect BM to open up and accept you for the wonderful person that you are. She won't. There's no sense in trying to reason with unreasonable people. Accept her for what she is and don't give her a second thought.
And don't, under any circumstances, let her diminish the place you have in your home.