Step daughter causes arguments and one time my partner hit me
I have a son who is 5 years old to another man and a STEP BRAT who is 6 years old. We have her after school twice a week and every weekend. She constantly tells tails on my son to her dad. She interrupts every time we talk. I brought her a jigsaw puzzle last week. She took it out of the shopping trolley and went to get in the car without saying thank you. Both these kids know they have to use manners. So I took it off her and told her and her father why. He was not impressed with me.
What led up to him hitting me was when the kids were arguing over the Wii game. That Wii game is the night mare of my life. It was constant arguments. I asked what was going on who had what control and he lost it. Your always blaming (his daughter). After that every time they argued I would put the game away. Even that made him mad too.
After he hit me that was it along with the step brats telling tails on my son. I would lose count how much a day she would do. She caused an argument between her mother and I. I just can't even talk to her anymore without having a firm and hatred tone in my voice. I can't stand her and its putting a huge strain on my relationship.
My partner has told me his kids come before anyone else. So I wonder where that leaves me. He's a control freak. I need a new car and he won't help me to buy one. So I have to rely on his car. I actually feel trapped. I can't go out of the house by myself he insists in coming too. I some what don't think this is going to work.
My head is all over the place. I don't have any family to support me or anyone to talk too. We work at the same job. But we both work different shifts.
I have 2 teenagers who wanted to live with there grandparents he also has 4 adult children who I get on great with. Is it me why this isn't working out.
I suppose my post seems all over the place. Just like my mind is.
Hitting you???? Seriously you
Hitting you???? Seriously you need to remove yourself and your child away from that situation I know you said you do not have family to support you but there has to be someone you can go to or maybe a church or programs for women? Your parents maybe if they hear what's happening??? You don't want your child seeing you get hit and if this behavior escalates you could be in serious danger, its not worth tempting fate to see what he does the next time he gets mad he obviously has anger issues that he needs to deal with, and he straight up told you that you are not the priority. I would errupt if some man laid his hands on me his ass would be in JAIL and I would leave no matter what.
I'm sorry, I used to be in an
I'm sorry, I used to be in an abusive relationship so forgive the bias on my part.
It is never, ever okay for your partner to hit you. The fact he hit you because you were dealing with the kids tells me there is more on the way, as he will always justify his actions as "protecting his child".
I highly recommend ending the relationship and moving out. He is not interested in parenting his child, he is however interested in controlling you. You made the comment you have no family or anyone to speak with about this. That you need a new car. When you use his, he insists on going with you when you leave the house. Abusers are all about separating their victims from any kind of support and taking away their independence.
You also should consider the fact your two teenagers are at the point where they want to live somewhere else.
Please find yourself a safe place to live and get your kids into a more stable environment. It will you and your kids a world of good. It's very difficult to change directions, once you start heading down the path of being a victim of abuse.
Good luck.
Heavenly, He hit you ........
Heavenly,
He hit you ........ kick his abusive ass out of the house and don't ever let him come back.
This one is a no brainer from my perspective.
Go, go, go, go, go .........
I have zero tolerance for abuse in a marriage or SO relationship. Heck, I have zero tolerance for abuse in any situation.
Good luck and best regards,
Shaman 29 is right, it will
Shaman 29 is right, it will only get worse, and he will always defend his actions as being the "papa bear." The advantage you have is that you work separate shifts, so there will always be a time when he's not around for a while, giving you time to get out. Find a sitter or drop SD off at her mother's house, take your son while he's young enough to forget about it later, and go go go!
Thanks everyone for your
Thanks everyone for your posts. I have been thinking about leaving him. I have been down this road before. Although he has only hit me once and is a control freak I do know the signs. They never change.
I have been weighing up the odds. I have no car which means no transport to work. Even if I could get to work I have no sitter for my son. Btw my two teenagers are living with there grandparents in another town, sorry if I worded that wrong. I only have my 5 year old to worry about.
I would have to give up work and go on welfare. Change my sons school. I do not have family who will support me as I've had a falling out with my sister and mother.
Work doesn't matter to me if it means keeping my son home with me.
I have come to the conclusion that I don't want this and also I'm not going to compete with his 6 year old daughter. His kids come first before anyone else. This is another reason why I don't want this relationship. I think differently about this. If I was happy the household would be happy. I haven't said one word to his daughter all weekend. After all this whole arguing thing has started from his daughter and his commitment to his kids first.
Heavenly, I know how you feel
Heavenly,
I know how you feel and everyone is telling you to leave but it really isn't that easy. Yes you want to but it means being without or making your child's life hell. Any self sacrificing scared individual feels the same as you do ...
My question for you about the car things is to think about the other side: what would you do if the car broke down? How would you get to work then? Think of him having the car as being broken. Do you have a bike? Can you take a bus? Carpool?
About 10 years ago, I was in the same boat as you (no child though) and I had to figure all this out. I ended up leaving him and had a bicycle to get myself to work. On rainy days, I took the bus.
It sucked but you know what? I took control of me. I had enough with the control freak in my life.
I am not saying you are the same as me but just know that somebody knows it isn't as easy to leave as everyone says - I feel for you and your child and please get strong and angry enough to say "enough of this crap I don't deserve it just because you are an insecure butthole!" and leave.
You WILL figure it out when you are ready.
No matter how hard it is you
No matter how hard it is you have to leave this man, you do not want your son to later hit a woman do you? If he sees how you are treated and think it is OK to treat woman that way. Every place has a safe house for woman with children, you need to be strong and get out, you can do it, find a way. If he hit you,most likey he will one day hit your son also.
Praying for you.