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Feeling Low and dont know why.

Frankie's picture

Submitted by Frankie on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 5:31am

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Hello Everybody not been on here for a while.

I dont know what is the matter with me lately, I have handled all the crap that BM has put me and my partner through for the past 3 years but lately I have been worrying about everything and I dont know why.

Since court she has behaved herself ( most of the time ) she acts all lovely, she has realised she cant stop contact etc but she can make them as close as possible to her and her boyfriend and not there own father.They now call him daddy as well and theres loads of other things done to undermind my partner as a father and make there step father the main male figire in there life (if you now what I mean). If you ask them they do know who there real father is etc. Apart from that things are goin better than ever before and I do know I need to not worry its just lately I worry eventually the BMs tackticks will work and he will loose his girls to this other man and they will see him as more of a father figure.

I will admit I do feel low which I think is making me worry way to much I have seen the dr and he thinks coping with the stress of me having a baby 2 jobs not sleeping and the bm issue is just got on top of me I am sat hear crying (completly over the top I know) I just wanted to chat with you all and get it of my chest.

Does any body else ever feel likem me. The girls are alsmost 5 and my partner hasnt lived with them for almost 3 years has anybody elses partner been in the same situation yet has still had a close bond with there kids into teens/adulthood.

BurnedOut's picture

Submitted by BurnedOut on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 7:08am

I totally agree with just a mom. It is his situation and ur going through enough on your own. Believe it or not to be out of the situation is the best position. DH son lives with us. His BM is about to get married and her fiance stays the hell away from the situation. I think he is a smart man. Once you get involved then you have to start doing a bunch of s**t. Step back and let him handle this, it will decrease your stress by atleast 50%.

Frankie's picture

Submitted by Frankie on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 8:40am

Thanks Guys

I think it must be my state of mind at the mo to be honest. Although I would say alot of the things she has done in the past does effect me its very hard not to let it effect you but I normally let it go (wont bore you with the details of what she has done).

The girls have been told they must call bms boyfriend daddy if they do call him by his name he tells them "my names not xxxxx my names daddy". 9 times out of ten I can look at things and think the girls will learn and if we carry on the way we do they will remember and remeber we never done the things mummy and step dad did and it will pay of in our advantage and think no more about it I havent even spoken to there mum or ever got involved in rows. My partner is brilliant he supports me cooks cleans takes all the kids out if I need a break and isnt worrying at all about the girls as far as he concerned they love him we do more than we should eg money etc etc and the girls will learn when they are older its me I just can't stop worry (what an idiot). Just get worried that all the comments and things done and said to them by bm will make them drift away from us.

I do know how silly I sound I guess I just want some1 to say that we are not going to loose them.

I bet you all think Im mad lol.

Frankie's picture

Submitted by Frankie on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 3:58am

Thankyou

Just to let you know I'm having a better day today and feeling alot better. Thankyou all for your kind words yesterday.

Also managed to get through the whole day without going back to the fags lol.

Packed the girls off to school this morning little man is with his nana and I'm at work with a lovely cup of tea. Looking forward to a free weekend of shopping with my son and partner.

Thanks again everyone
xxxx

unhappy2happy's picture

Submitted by unhappy2happy on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 6:59am

Frankie, I know that when our DHs hurt we hurt too.. But the girls are little and as long as your DH and you are there to love and care for them they will know who their real daddy is and that he loves them. My husbands ex tried this same BS once she found a BF she tried to limit the time DH could see his kids.. We went to court and won.. Now the Skids are both in their Twenties and both love their dad with all their hearts..

After 4 years our BM,s relationship ended and neither one of our kids see this man anymore..nor do they care to.

It will get better as the girls get older...

Frankie's picture

Submitted by Frankie on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 9:00am

Thankyou unhappytohappy thats lovely and very reassuring.

Take care and have a lovely weekend
xxx