Child Playing One Parent Against Another
Step-son wants a Facebook (FB), he is 10. Legally, he cannot be signed up until he's 13. There is too much with children in sexting with phones and getting into trouble on FB. Dad (BD) said no. Step-son was given a list of reasons.
Step-son went to "Momma's" and got her to sign him up. I found it and let my husband know.
1) Lying behind his back
2) Playing one parent against another [the BM (we call her P***Head, or PH) doesn't have rules]
My solution...
1) No computer, TV, Wii until we have your username and passwords. (We know the username and password, but want him to tell us.) But, in the end he wins. That ticks me off--that he is playing one parent against another to get what he wants. Otherwise, PH will set him up another under another name.
2) You loose your "attitude" stripe in karate for lying to your Dad.
Dad is concerned that the step-son doesn't have any fun over here. That he doesn't have anyone to play with. The child has:
1) a lake
2) a pool
3) a creek
4) a trampoline
5) a box full of toys to be used outside
6) a bike
7) a skateboard
a split skateboard (whatever it is called)
(I was an only child in that there was 7 years difference in my sister and I. We grew up with separate lives.)
Yes, there are few children his age around. However, he still lied and manipulating to get what he wanted. Two weeks ago, he was so proud to have his Dad around and show him off. Then he, basically, threw it all back in his face.
Am I off if my thinking here?
I think this is a good way
I think this is a good way of thinking about it
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
My SS11 has a FB and
My SS11 has a FB and MySpace. His BM has NO CLUE what he does or says on there! And she could care less. I got his passwords to both and checked behind him. You should have seen some of the things he was saying in messages to other kids!!! F-YOU this and GD that! I couldn't believe it!!!! I told DH but he didn't do anything about it either. SS11 also got on his FB when I was on mine (he was with his BM) and told me that he hated me and hoped I died in a car accident. And I am pretty sure she was sitting right beside him when he said this because the conversation only proceeded to get worse (if you can imagine) from there. And he was talking about things that kids don't typically talk about (court and CS) When I see him again (it's been over a month and has that has been a good thing for me) I KNOW that he will lie and say he never said those things. I am at my wits end with the kid, his attitude and his lying....
****I can do bad all by myself****
Children will always play
Children will always play one parent against the other. It is the nature of children. They will do anything to get what they want. Children of intact homes do it, children of divorced homes do it, heck children in blended families will try to play step parent against parent!!!
My ex has had to call me and tell me that my son is going to call me up crying because he has just gotten punished, and that I can't fall for it. Then he tells me the real story. Usually it involves my son not turning in an assignment, or that he has gotten in trouble for talking in school. Then about 10 minutes later I will get a call from my son, telling me that his dad is the biggest meanie in the world and that his dad has just taken away all of his video games for no reason at all!!!
He was trying to pit us against each other. But we know our son and know that does this, he has done this since he was little, even when we were together. My son is a good kid, but he just being a kid. He doesn't like being punished.
By keeping the lines of communication open, I am able say that I agree that the punishment fit the crime.
I think that it does a real disservice to a child when you allow them to get away with things. Then they have no respect for authority.
SS11 does this to his BM and
SS11 does this to his BM and DH. He tells us how horrible everyone is to him and how is brother (BMs other son) gets everything that he wants and SS11 gets nothing. ( I can only imagine what he says about me and DH when he is home) However he has had more cell phones than I have...he has the DS the DSI....a Wii at our house and at his BM and who knows what else. It used to work....but that was before I figured him out. It's hard for me not to laugh in his face when he starts whining about it. He is SO deprived!!! Whatever......
****I can do bad all by myself****
I've done this as well with
I've done this as well with my SD Myspace. Not so much that I don't trust her, but because we have no contact with them. I just like being able to see her updated pics and it helps to know when she's happy or excited. Of course, it hurts that she's not feeling that with us, but I'm glad she's not dark and depressed like so many teenagers are. She just posted new pics the other day. She's beautiful. The one thing that bothers me are the comments the boys leave on her pics. I suppose that's probaby typical of any parent/step parent for their daughter...