can your husband fight that court order? I've never heard of the court's allowing one parent to control the other parent's spousal access to the child, when there is no grounds for concern. I'm assuming you're not on probation or a registered offender.

Hi there s-k...I am new here as well and have found this to not only be a place to vent my frustrations but find suggestions as well. I am really sorry for your situation and the pain I am sure it has caused. I don't understand though, why was it ever court ordered for you not to see you SD? That does seem really unfair to the child and your DH. I don't understand BM's that feel so insecure with someone being there childs SM. I have a daughter that if my ex would have found someone that accepted her and nurtured her than I would be happy. Just one more person to love my child. But back to your issue....I think you have no choice but to wait and let the courts handle it and they will set the BM straight. If she has no reason for you not to be allowed around her child then the courts will I'm sure see this. In the mean time try to be happy for your DH that he is able to see his child again. That had to be pure he-- on him and the child. Hang in there!

Oh my, I wish I did have advice for you but I don't. What a terrible situation. Welcome!

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

i just do not know of any court that would support this. are you sure the custody order says he cannot mention a new wife? it is...basically...unconsitutional.

why in the world does he put up with this?

This doesn`t sound right. Have you seen the court order? It seems unlikely that a judge would put in place an order dictating that the child cannot be around someone that poses no danger to him/her. It makes absolutely no sense.

It would be more understandable if this 'order' is in fact a mediation agreement. Something that your husband agreed to during mediation and that document was filed with the courts. If that's the case, then it's just a simple agreement between the parents and something that can be changed (by challenging the agreement in court or going back to mediation).

***Life - It's not a rehearsal***

Yeah, the BM in our life tried controlling how much contact I have with the skid and how much one-one-one time skid had with bf, without me. Basically she was trying to get me to leave from my own house so the skid and bf could have more time together without my presence. I told her she can eat my shit.

Bf's lawyer said that she cannot have a say in this unless she could demonstrate that I was endangering the skid or was abusing her.

I think the BM in your life is total bs. She has no legal ground, unless DH agrees to it just to keep the peace.

Why is it that the men never seem to be allowed to move on with their lives and have to live in fear of losing the rights that they have with their children. I don't understand how the courts can rule that you can not be introduced to the child if you are not a threat. He needs to fight harder for this. As far as the bad mouthing, if there are court orders out there to stop you from being introduced, then there has to be court orders to stop "bad mouthing" by the other parents. If he is not legally "unfit", how could they stop him from seeing his child(due to the fact that she would keep her from him becasue of you). This is what I don't understand about this government, here you have a man who wants to be in his childs life yet because some bitch is insecure about other women, they would stop him from seeing his child. What is wrong with this picture?

s-k, your husband needs to grow a pair.

First, you need to get a look at that court order. My bf's ex tried to impose something similar with me and the judged laughed at her, told her it was ludicrous. I wonder if you've been told the truth? Maybe he's just telling you that when in reality he just doesn't want to piss her off?

Why are they spending time together? Other than a couple of minutes at hand off, there is no reason for them to be together. Why doesn't she know he's married?

I'm sorry but I think your dh is feeding you a line of bullshit. I think he's still trying to keep the ex happy and her happiness is more important to him than yours is.

I wouldn't stand for that kind of treatment and neither should you.

It sounds like you should forget mediation since your dh seems pussywhipped. He'll cave in to any ridiculous demand. Take it to court and get a reasonable judgement instead of the nonsense you've got now.

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Poison Apples For Sale - My Specialty - Cheaper by the dozen - Hurry while supplies last.
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Hang in there s-k! Be patient and do all you can to nurture your marriage. I realize this issue could easily drive a wedge and that may be what the BM is trying to do. Don't let her win and don't fuel the fire. (Doesn't sound like you're the type to, but it takes suprisingly little to spark an erruption!!)
As for you feeling left out when the fam is together...I get that, but in time that won't sting so much. I still get a little bit of that when I know my hubby has spoken to his ex w/o me around, but I'm secure in my marriage and I know that he doesn't want to be around her or speak to her any more than he has to. Unfortunately, since your step daughter is very young, the BM will inevitably be a part of your lives for a while.
Be patient and pray for the best outcome possible:)

I can tell you from experience that a court can and will do that, my SK's Bm took my DH to court and that was one of her request and she got it until the next court date, where she has to prove just cause, which she couldn't do, so the judge threw it out and called the matter closed where she could not bring it back to court again. So even though they can do it most judges are smart enough to see through the vindictive nature of the BM's, so have hope.