Hell - I've been married since Valentine's Day of this year - I'm ready to step back from most everything that has to do with the ex wife and kids.
And that's sad!
But I'm coming to realize that I'm dealing with my DH's ex wife - that's a cross between losing your sanity or becoming completely infested with doubts, craziness, and inability to make common sense of anything that has to do with reality.
Sorry - been a bad week. But I am looking at staying totally out of it...all the way. I value my sanity too much.
AMEN sister!!! I have been married for 2 years and I am ready to step OUT!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE DH...but the crazy BM is getting the best of me and my sanity!!!
Belive it or not that sounds good. The more you become involved the more they expect you to do and that goes for DH and BM. I seem to be the fall guy for both and I get tired of it so as often as I can I make sure that DH deals with issues. Last weekend BM called Sat and Sun, well guess what I ignored her ass. I only call on Fridyas to say he is on his way and Sun for pick up. Oh that pisses me off to she never wants to come pick him up I always have to meet her. Then the fiance has a truck but when it's time to get SS he always has something to do. This life makes me very ill from time to time.
Almost everything! I have finally disengaged! Maybe I'm turning into the evil SM, but given the way my SD18 has treated me since day 1 (almost 3 yrs ago) I no longer even try to converse or interact with her. Since she lives with her grandparents, I don't have to see her much but when I do, I basically ignore her now. The last few times I've had to see her I totally tuned anything she said out; I bit my tongue when certain topics came up and unless it directly concerns me (as in her wanting $$$) I let whatever she said go in one ear & out the other. Prom? Nope -not paying for it. New car? Nope - get a job. I had to talk to her last week because DH couldn't (long story short, we were in heavy traffic & pulling a boat & trailer). SD18 told me the community college counselor "assured" her she would get the maximum pell grants for college next fall - she's not even graduated from high school & at this point we're not sure she's going to because her grades & attendance are so poor. (She won't let us see her grades; we're goining by what they have been all year & the letters from the school re attendance & grades). I don't know how anyone could "assure" her she's going to qualify for grants as we've not given her any info as far as our incomes, ss#, etc. that are required to complete the financial aid forms. I work for a university so I know what's required when applying for aid. Anyway, I never said anything but "that's nice" and let it go. Before I disengaged, I had been hounding her to death to go talk to a college counselor to see what assistance she could get, classes, etc. & she blew me off so I shut up about it. It hasn't been easy, but disengaging has been a major relief for me.
I don't want to fully disengage. The kids are good (excpet for the oldest out of the four), but I want to do the things I want to on my own terms and feel appreciated for those things.
A relationship with SD
Is what I have stepped back from. I will not have any 1 on 1 time with her - someone else must be in the room with us. This is due to past lies that she told about me. She is welcome in our home when DH is there and that includes family dinners and holidays - as long as DH prepares them - again due to her past behavior.
And I don't miss her 1 bit - although I do feel sorry for DH - but since he helped create this - he has to deal with her - not me.
Hell - I've been married
Hell - I've been married since Valentine's Day of this year - I'm ready to step back from most everything that has to do with the ex wife and kids.
And that's sad!
But I'm coming to realize that I'm dealing with my DH's ex wife - that's a cross between losing your sanity or becoming completely infested with doubts, craziness, and inability to make common sense of anything that has to do with reality.
Sorry - been a bad week. But I am looking at staying totally out of it...all the way. I value my sanity too much.
AMEN sister!!! I have been
AMEN sister!!! I have been married for 2 years and I am ready to step OUT!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE DH...but the crazy BM is getting the best of me and my sanity!!!
****I can do bad all by myself****
Belive it or not that sounds
Belive it or not that sounds good. The more you become involved the more they expect you to do and that goes for DH and BM. I seem to be the fall guy for both and I get tired of it so as often as I can I make sure that DH deals with issues. Last weekend BM called Sat and Sun, well guess what I ignored her ass. I only call on Fridyas to say he is on his way and Sun for pick up. Oh that pisses me off to she never wants to come pick him up I always have to meet her. Then the fiance has a truck but when it's time to get SS he always has something to do. This life makes me very ill from time to time.
delete
delete
Almost everything! I have
Almost everything! I have finally disengaged! Maybe I'm turning into the evil SM, but given the way my SD18 has treated me since day 1 (almost 3 yrs ago) I no longer even try to converse or interact with her. Since she lives with her grandparents, I don't have to see her much but when I do, I basically ignore her now. The last few times I've had to see her I totally tuned anything she said out; I bit my tongue when certain topics came up and unless it directly concerns me (as in her wanting $$$) I let whatever she said go in one ear & out the other. Prom? Nope -not paying for it. New car? Nope - get a job. I had to talk to her last week because DH couldn't (long story short, we were in heavy traffic & pulling a boat & trailer). SD18 told me the community college counselor "assured" her she would get the maximum pell grants for college next fall - she's not even graduated from high school & at this point we're not sure she's going to because her grades & attendance are so poor. (She won't let us see her grades; we're goining by what they have been all year & the letters from the school re attendance & grades). I don't know how anyone could "assure" her she's going to qualify for grants as we've not given her any info as far as our incomes, ss#, etc. that are required to complete the financial aid forms. I work for a university so I know what's required when applying for aid. Anyway, I never said anything but "that's nice" and let it go. Before I disengaged, I had been hounding her to death to go talk to a college counselor to see what assistance she could get, classes, etc. & she blew me off so I shut up about it. It hasn't been easy, but disengaging has been a major relief for me.
I don't want to fully
I don't want to fully disengage. The kids are good (excpet for the oldest out of the four), but I want to do the things I want to on my own terms and feel appreciated for those things.
appreciation and kids
appreciation and kids usually don't go hand in hand...especially these days
____________________________________________________________________________
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
A relationship with SD Is
A relationship with SD
Is what I have stepped back from. I will not have any 1 on 1 time with her - someone else must be in the room with us. This is due to past lies that she told about me. She is welcome in our home when DH is there and that includes family dinners and holidays - as long as DH prepares them - again due to her past behavior.
And I don't miss her 1 bit - although I do feel sorry for DH - but since he helped create this - he has to deal with her - not me.
Glynne