Second Wedding-Blended Family Question

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How many of you incorporated your children into your second wedding? This came up b/c BF asked me what kind of wedding I would like to have should he and I get married (and questions about honeymoon, etc etc-so maybe he's getting close to popping the question, but I digress.) He asked who would walk me down the ailse and without hesitation I said my BS20. My father passed away several years ago and I don't have a good relationship with my step-father (or even my mother anymore.) Is this appropriate? Also, my daughter is 14 and I was thinking of her standing as a brides maid as well. We both agree that we want a very small, intimate, family and close friend only wedding. I would imagine if my children are involved, his children SS14 and SS11 would want to be involved as well. Maybe as ushers (or even standing with their father). Anyway, back to my original question. Did you incorporate yours/his children into your wedding, and if so, in what role?

Yeah, SD was the flower girl

Yeah, SD was the flower girl (then 7). But neither one of us had been married before so it was a first wedding for us both.
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

We did the sand ceremony and

We did the sand ceremony and the oldest walked me down the isle.
He volunteered: "You look like one of Aunt (DH sister)'s Barbies"

"I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the end your right to say it," - Voltaire

what's the sand ceremony?

It's where they have two

It's where they have two containers of sand and pour their individual containers into one big one... Very similar to the unity candle concept.

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

ahhh, thanks!

Each kid had his own sand

Each kid had his own sand color and DH had a color and I had one.
Then as certain statements were made and certain promises were made, we poured sand into the big jar.
It looks pretty cool ... the blending of the sand turned into a real piece of art if you will. It is the only wedding thing I keep on display.
Kids liked it and DH got choked up about it.

"I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the end your right to say it," - Voltaire

Oh and since it was a beach

Oh and since it was a beach wedding, we picked up some shark's teeth and shells from the ground around the table and threw all of it in there.

"I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the end your right to say it," - Voltaire

We had a small family

We had a small family wedding and my SD along with her cousins were my bridesmaids. They were all of 11 years old then. My sis was my maid of honor. I told my SD that she was "lead" bridesmaid - it made her happy.

Glynne

Yep, SS (then not yet 2yo)

Yep, SS (then not yet 2yo) was right up there with us. Not because the ceremony was designed that way but because he was screaming for his Mom until we asked the Minister to excuse us for a second and went and grabbed the kid from my Brother in the front row. We did not have any attendents so it ended up being just the three of us.

Now my first wedding was a circus. Half a dozen bridesmaids, half a dozen guys (half of them my XW's male relatives .... who I barely knew) and kids I did not even know in tuxs and dresses throwing flower pedals and making a general nusance of themselves.

Wedding # 1 $25,000.00 Cathedral wedding. 12 attendents, 500 guests, 2.5yrs of marriage --------- Stupid Decision.

Wedding #2 $500.00 Love's Lake Tahoe wedding chapel. ZERO attendents, 8 guests, 16yrs of marriage ------------ Priceless ..... and the best decision I have ever made in my life.

I like your idea of having your Son give you away and your daughter being a bridesmaid. Veery classy and makes the kids feel a part of the family kick off.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

500? Jesus Christ, I had

500? Jesus Christ, I had trouble coming up with 100 people I liked enough to want to share my day with them...

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

Oh yes, the first wedding

Oh yes, the first wedding was the social event of the season. Though the invitation clearly stated that the ushers would seat based on open seating the picture of the wedding from the choir loft is very telling.

450 on the bride's side and 50 on the groom's side. When seated her guests would get up and move to her side of Cathedral. Her side was jam packed with bodies mine had the front three rows filled with two people sitting in the last row.

The interesting part was when her parents asked my parents to split the cost of the wedding. My parents said sure, you write the kids a check for $12,500.00 we will write a check to the kids for $12,500.00 and they can do what they want with the money. Her mother got all offended because her "daughter had to have a spectacular wedding". My Dad responded ..... "Then you can pay for it and we will take care of the rehersal dinner and the flowers". The funny part was that it was a Jan wedding and the Cathedral still had the Christmas season flowers so there was no bill for the flowers.

I agree with you BTW. There are not 100 people I know or like well enough to want them at my wedding.

My second wedding ceremony was perfect. My wife, our son (My SS) and I, my mom, my bro his wife and my new born niece, my best friend and some random girlfriend and my wife's aunt and uncle.

My dad was overseas and could not make it back in time for our announced elopement and her mom and dad passively objected and could not make it.

I am planning on surprising my wife with a second wedding (renewal of vows) in 4yrs for our 20th. We will do it in her home town with all of her people and any surviving people of mine who can make it. I am sure all of my guests from our original ceremony will be there (except for my BFFs random GF), my dad and all of my aunts, uncles, cousins and the ever expanding brood of kids will make a notable showing.

I have already booked a winery with an incredible view of Mt Hood over looking the vinyards. I have told no one yet because loose lips sink ships and I don't want her to know until I fly her to NYC to pick out her dress a month before the wedding.

She may have to stick with the same diamond that I gave after our 10th. I am not sure I will be able to swing the wine and gourmet suaret and a bigger rock.

Best regards,

Perfectson had just turned 8

Perfectson had just turned 8 when DH and I got married and he escorted me down the aisle and 'gave me away'... SS22 was 12 and he was DH's best man. SDs didn't attend. The wedding was perfect regardless.

Well, we had a super-simple

Well, we had a super-simple ceremony (no bridesmaids, groomsmen, or anything like that). But we did have the officiant mention my SDs in our ceremony. And we also gave them both matching necklaces with the same gemstone that is in both of our wedding bands, so they would have a piece of jewelry to be "part of" the union.

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

My stepdaughter was the

My stepdaughter was the flower girl in our wedding, and my nephew was the ring-bearer (my sister is a single mom and I've been the "guy" in his life for eight years)

We had a relatively small

We had a relatively small wedding -- about 70 people, mainly family. Skids are older -- they were 17 & 19 at the time. SS was DH's best man, and SD was a bridesmaid. (I confess I wasn't happy at being forced to have her as a bridesmaid, mainly because she's about an hour late for EVERYTHING, and a drama queen, and she'll create a situation where she has to be the center of attention! but it was important to my DH so I asked her to be in it. She WAS NOT my maid of honor though! }:) )

All in all, it went much better than I thought it would. My cousin promised me she'd make sure SD was where she needed to be, when she needed to be, and was willing to drag the girl if necessary! Looking back, it was a good decision to include the kids. We have some nice photos of all of us -- and we had control over what the skids wore to the wedding!

SS (at the time 6) was the

SS (at the time 6) was the ring bearer, and sd (at the time 6) was a jr bridesmaid and my niece (3) was the flower girl

We are getting married next

We are getting married next month. We have planned a small beach wedding, no attendants, just my fiance and I. We are going to have our 3 boys, BS13, SS7, and our son 2, stand up with us. We have invited only about 40 - 45 friends and family. We wanted things to be small and simple. He has been married before, I have not. Our only worry is that his ex is not going to allow SS to come to the wedding because it is out of towm and not technically our weekend. We do want all of our boys to be a part of the ceremony.

SD was my only bridesmaid

SD was my only bridesmaid and my son(7) walked me down the aisle. Then we did a "blended family" ceremony with blended family necklaces for the kids that I found on exclusivelyweddings.com

It was nice
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut

My two ssons were pages- ss8

My two ssons were pages- ss8 carried the rings, and ss5 hald his cousin's hand (She was the flowergirl.) We wrote our own vows, and I included promising to love and watch over my stepkids as their "livebyfaith."

SS12 and SS8 were DH's

SS12 and SS8 were DH's "bestmen."

They were 10 and 6 when we got married. SS12 had my ring and SS8 had DH's ring. My cousin was maid-of-honor and mom walked me down the aisle (my dad passed away years before). It was a small church wedding, about 50 guests. When we exchanged rings the boys were right there on either side of DH. Processing out of church SSons stood on either side of my cousin. It was nice.

~BettyRay
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Second Wedding-Blended Family Question