WWW III about to begin- (oh crap)
Oh geez what a crazy last couple of days. DH is selling car to pay off loan for extra needed $$$.
Wow, after my DH almost was admitted the night before last to the funny farm after having a nervous breakdown, DH has sent this now via email and certified (w/ reciept) O crap, it is gonna be a rough ride but this was oh so needed:
(name)(BM),
Starting Sunday, January 17th, we will have to go back to the week on, week off with (ss5). This means that I will pick him up on Sunday after I get off at 6pm.
As I stated in the email I sent to you on both December 28th and 29th, I must have a financial affidavit served from you in order to proceed with the Modification of Parenting/Time Sharing Plan. I sent you the link. It is only pages 28-32. http://www.xxxxxxxxxxx.org/forms/Packet5.pdf
Since I don't have that from you, I am forced to protect myself and adhere to the parenting plan in place.
I would also like a copy of the payment agreement you have made for the monies owed for the repossession of the Toyota Yaris. In Florida, I can be sued, wages garnished, and jailed for non-payment of this debt.
I get am still getting constant collection notices for past due payments and balances for the things you agreed to pay in the divorce settlement. I just received a notice from Campus USA about a delinquent payment on the home equity loan. You are only paying the IRS $35 a month, most of the time it is late. That doesn't even cover the late fee, let alone the actual balance. That debt is over both mine and ( my name) head too until you pay it off as you agreed. You are supposed to pay it off, not just pay on it. The same is true for the balance on the xxxx Credit account. These things MUST be paid off in a reasonable and definite amount of time. I have been advised that if we can't come to some exact and definite timetable for these things, in writing, I may begin legal proceedings with a civil case against you. I am notifying you that this must be within 30 days from today, January 11th.
You have time to do volunteer work on the weekends but can't make any additional income to pay off the debts that you are legally entitled to pay?
(ss5) still says that he sleeps in your bed. He will be 5 in a few weeks and this must stop immediately. We've had to teach him how to use a butter knife to cut his pancakes the other day and even how to wipe his own behind. He is 5 and is entitled to learn basic life skills.
Also, (our school zone) Elementary has a 30% higher FCAT score than xxxx Springs. Connor can go to either school so since we are zoned for xxxxxxxxxx, please plan on him attending xxxxxxxx for Kindergarten. I'm sure you want him to go to the best school as well.
I hope we can come to some form of legal, binding agreement before this escalates further.
(name)(DH)1-11-2010
***Not a "peep" in over 3 days now. I am sitting here wondering what the hell BM could be up to now???...(yikes) My dh is completely in the "right" here too.
Good for him!!! Stand your
Good for him!!! Stand your ground - 5 years old and doesn't know how to wipe his behind?
Shame on her - but applause to your DH, and yourself for standing up to BM and standing up for what's best for the child. WWW III maybe about to begin - but trust me, it will pass.
Is DH selling the car with
Is DH selling the car with the $500/month payment?
Good that he's finally addressing the mountain of financial issues. Funny thing about those, the longer you ignore them, the bigger they seem to get. Let us know what you hear from her. I bet your stomach is in knots waiting to see how it turns out. Try to relax. Take some deep breaths, a bubble bath, something. You need to destress for your baby.
Car IS being sold. Doing
Car IS being sold.
Doing what I can to destress today for the lil girl to come...
1Life1Chance, Thank you!!! Yes, it is going to get nasty, I can "feel" it, but the bonus of all of this is that IT is being dealt with and my husband will not be jailed during my pregnancy. (DH was only trying to make his son happy, but he can't go to jail/ fined in contempt because the BM goes psycho.)
Wow has it been a rough last couple of days. BM is either pissed to no end, up to something corrupt to try to hurt DH, or scared shi*less, if not all of the above.
I hope BM is sitting in a
I hope BM is sitting in a puddle of her own piss!
It is also nice to see a DH finally holding a BM accountable for her actions (or the lack there of). It's sad it always has to come to this (someone getting backed into a corner because someone else can't play nice and be a decent human being).
we should hire your DH to
we should hire your DH to write letters for us! lol
I like the "basic life skills" line.. it is true, maybe if it was put that way 6-7 yrs ago I wouldnt be dealing with a kid who is almost 13 and he still does not wipe his butt good enough or at all.. (its really gross to do laundry)
Super letter, very well put! WWWIII just might be worth it considering his ass is on the line financially, because of her lack of willingness to do what she agreed to do.
keep us posted if she replies, I am very interested to see what she has to say to that!
good luck!
I need to check his email
I need to check his email again to make sure no reply. (yes we are open w/ passwords)
It took BOTH of us 2gether to master this. I really hope all of this crap ceases soon- it is absurd.
What pissed me off (then DH) was yet another trick in her bag. BM had the nerve to call on our 1st night alone in two weeks at 9PM?! Over another STUPID reason, just to interfere.(This should have been an email like agreed on for non-emergent communique)
" Can I have (ss5's) b'day on MY day...oh, I mean YOUR day?!" What a royal screw up. I TOLD him a million times he was playing with fire with the new arrangement. I wouldn't let someone who tried to put me in jail 3 times hold ANY card over my head, even iff ss5 WANTS to be with his "mommy" 24/7. Which lately ss5 does not even really WANT to leave us now or even barely brings up his mom. What BM does in return is try to "win" ss5 over by overindulgence in everything ss5 could even dream of. WHY do some parents do this? I NEVER did?
NODA..Nothing STILL on
NODA..Nothing STILL on anything. No clue what is going on at the other end.
Way too much silence from BM. It normally (judging from past behaviors) signals "trouble." I hope there is nothing she can do/ try. Although, methinks BM is going to try to get full custody and that will mean, full C/S too. Not a chance.
Does anybody know if ALL adults must disclose monies in a financial affidavit? (me) It does vary, state to state. I am in Florida and can't really get a clear picture on it.
Your financials will more
Your financials will more than likely be submitted with your DH as they are a part of his. However, I don't believe in any state yours will be completely taken into account as you are not financially responsible for this child.
My situation is classic case
My situation is classic case of overindulgence, as a result of guilty parenting. BM, and my DH have always tried to "buy" my SS's love - to make sure he likes them better than the other one.
BM says bad things about DH - so he buys him fancy shiny things to prove he's a nice guy. DH also has said somethings about BM (not as much as she does, but still has slipped) - then BM hears that from SS so then she buys his love. The brat sits in the middle playing them both. He has been getting into trouble since he was about 13 (divorce happened 9 years ago when he was 7) Everytime he gets into trouble, he is rewarded because BM feels guilty she's a single mom - DH feels guilty because he's not around him much due to EOW visitation schedule.
This last time - he was arrested at 16 for selling/using drugs at school (felony charges). Lawyer told him to claim "depressed and suicidal" - even admitted this to several adults in his life. So now BM and DH feel like this wouldn't have happened if they wouldn't have gotten divorced - OMG get over it, it was 9 years ago. So now, everyone walks on eggshells with him because "he might snap" - if he wants, he gets and the more trouble he gets in the nicer the gifts.
Your SS is only 5 and doesn't realize she is overindulging him yet and doesn't realize he can turn that into manipulation on his end - but he will. It will be really important for the 2 of you to provide a great deal of discipline, structure, and morals so he doesn't start to play into it, like so many kids do now a days.
Overindulgence leads to entitlement; entitlement leads to manipulation; manipulation leads to, well, just no good.
You mean on the financial
You mean on the financial affidavit dh must add mine on there too? I made sure that we had zero joint accounts.
DH swears up and down that he does not have too add my income on the form here in Florida.
That bitch will never get my shit- trust me there. Never.
If you have absolutely ZERO
If you have absolutely ZERO accounts or anything jointly in both of your names (car, house, loan) you probably won't have to then. We have a savings account together.
I told DH I would rather shoot his Ex than give her any of my money! I even told him while they were reviewing our financials I would probably divorce him if my income was looked at for her child support, etc. Thank God it wasn't.
I agree with you - NEVER EVER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just checked online state
I just checked online state law library- again.
No, he does NOT have to disclose anything but what is ONLY his.
I do not like having to be so seperate but the smart thing I did do at least was not open anything jointly with my husband as I KNEW this in advance, with the BM's history and gold-digger ways, I figured it smart, for now.
Exceptions: (get this) If we own another HOME together...isn't that fair?
JOINT tax returns. (even more fair)
My monies ONLY if he did not sign agreements coming. (which he is.) Inheritance in regards to my late husband/ and FIL. (I don't think so, that goes to HIS son, not my husbands X.) errrrrr
In PA the support is only
In PA the support is only figured using the bio parents income..
and thats the way it should be in most states from what i understand.
Support is figured on what both parents make and the standard of living the child would have if parents were together, and then split depending on who makes more, here if one parent does not have a job they will figure it in at min. wage/40 hrs a wk. unless parent applies to suspend support.. its pretty much all bullshit.
Even though DH only gets 50 a wk for 2 kids, it would be a cold day in hell before the kids ever went to live with her and she got anything from him. BM sees her kids as a meal ticket, they went there for a few weeks in the summer and she tried to get him for support.. when he did pay it, over 200 a wk, he still had to buy them things, she would bring there here with no shoes, no coat (its PA in like Dec), clothes that dont fit.. etc.. we were forced to buy them things like that.. anyways.. I would fight it if they tried to consider my income for anything that has to do with his kids support, after all I didnt make the kids, I am not financially responsible for them, they have a mom and dad, they dont need my money.
Rags, a member on here, has
Rags, a member on here, has a great story dealing with this. I believe his income was figured into his wife receiving CS for his SS.
You might try finding it in his profile or he maybe he'll share it.
Here's a thread about that
Here's a thread about that http://www.steptalk.org/node/1697