Recently I posted a quote about being a stepmother on my Facebook page-- a thought for the day type thing. (see below..I can't seem to get stuff to insert well in this format). Then I simply asked my multitude of Facebook friends to give me an "amen" regarding the quotes if they were stepmoms married to men with children from previous marriages. I truly thought nothing of it because the quote was a positive one from Wicked Stepmom's site.

OSD WAS (note was) one of my Facebook friends and starting making comments to my post. So I explained it's hard being a stepmother/Dad's wife, etc. and again thought nothing of it. OSD then proceeds to publicly post on my Facebook page that my comments and those of other stepmoms who gave me a shout were "over the top" as if she's a good judge of that role being 32 years old herself and never having been a stepmom! Then she made some snide remark wishing us all the best of luck. Come to find out she later decided to take herself off as my friend.

Ok. Giving her the benefit of the doubt I simply texted her and said my post on Facebook was not meant to offend her at all and I hope she didn't take it that way. She has no clue what HELL went down with her half sister (my YSD) over Christmas and how my being sick with the Periodic Limb Movement Disorder has made me tired and cranky. Obviously that was NOT what she wanted to hear from me and she went off on me.

I think I am dealing with a true b*t*h for lack of better words. OSD started saying tons of negative things about me from my past that her Dad had told her to not throw up in my face. She is playing "holier than thou" Christian games with me again. It's like she wants to CONTROL what I post on Facebook and mold me into someone I'm not. She thinks all I do is speak negative of stepchildren period which is not the case. Most things on my Facebook page are simply commenting on my friends' posts who are stepmoms having bad days. She doesn't have to look at my feeds much less be on friends list. Maybe she likes to spy or something.

Anyhoo, from time to time I upload pictures of my deceased husband to my Facebook page. January 7th would've been his 54th birthday so I posted a "We miss you and think of you often" comment from my 9 year old son and I along with a picture of my son and my deceased husband when my son was almost 2 years old. Now my deceased husband's family is on my Facebook friends list and they like to see photos, especially those that show I am still taking my son out to the grave to put flowers there in his memory. I am still part of that family because there was no divorce. My mother in law on that side turns 80 years old this month.

My OSD makes it sound like I'm building a SHRINE to my deceased husband, says those kinds of comments and pictures SICKEN her and then she has the gall to question my love for her father. I was floored! The day my husband died her father was the first person on the scene to be with me. He went in with me to see the body about an hour after my 1st husband was pronounced dead. We were all friends and I'm sorry it pisses her off I married her Dad but I didn't need her approval or her permission!

So OSD wanted to call me one night this week and give me a piece of her mind--let loose on me is what I call it. I showed my husband her texts and he told me to block her number so she couldn't call me or text me, block her emails, basically cut her off--blow her off, end this crap she is creating and move on. Once again I asked him to confront her on her crap and got the response that he doesn't want to alienate his children. Hello! I'm his wife. I live with him day in and day out and it's ok for this 32 year old b*t*h to cast stones at me, call me names, act like I am immature and NOT a Christian, etc. and I'm just supposed to TAKE IT? Geesh.

Fine then. I sent OSD the message she was being BLOCKED out of my life and added what her dad suggested in that we not communicate for a LONG period of time. My husband knows this daughter has been a THORN in my side from a few days after we took our vows. She posted crap about me on her brother's myspace page that was derogatory only a few days after we'd married basically calling me a loser using the word WINNER sarcastically. I have seen this wench twice in my life. The rest of communication has been via computer, text message and an occasional phone call. Up until this weekend I thought things were better between us but now I see that in her eyes I will never be accepted.

I went to therapy Monday and my therapist said the only relationship I can ever have with OSD is a SUPERFICIAL one. Now having said that, why would I even want to bother traveling 3.5 hours by car to see her to save the peace in my marriage? Could I honestly sit down at a meal with this b*t*h and pretend things are fine without blowing a fuse given the hell she puts me through? My husband says I am making too big a deal of it but my therapist says it's a power struggle and not to let OSD win. I would love to BLOCK OSD from talking to her own father but with her being his firstborn, etc. he isn't going to cut the ties with her until she does something totally cruel to him or to me that he witnesses himself. My therapist did say there should be no communication with OSD unless my husband is on the phone call with me or we are visiting her in person together. DH won't confront so guess who loses AGAIN? Me!

I hardly slept Sunday night with my legs twitching and anxiety from the OSD's smug comments, etc. I apologized for thinking I'd offended her and she went off on me for everything she hasn't liked about me in the 2.5 years I've been married to her Dad. Monday when my husband left for work I was pretty cold towards him. He could tell I'd been crying after coming home from therapy as he had about 5 minutes before he had to leave or he'd be late for work (hour long commute). I didn't say I love you but simply said I was in the bathroom, didn't want to be bothered, and to have a good day at work.

How would you ladies handle this? I'm so damn tired of this b*t*h and my health is already poor. There is no way in hell I can address my medical issues and have her as part of my life. I hated it the last time my DH went to see her 3.5 hours away and left my son and I at home. I know my OSD loved every minute of it like sticking a knife in my back. Sometimes I think she wants to cause a rift in my marriage so I end up divorcing her Dad so she can have more attention from him. She's mentioned in the past before I came along they were CLOSER and she misses that. Well sorry 32 year old but when a man gets married his focus is on the family he lives with, not his married daughter who is hundreds of miles away and has children of her own.

I really do not want to speak to my husband right now. I am full of disappointment, anger, rage, you name it. My tears mean nothing to him but the word divorce does. He knows without my financial help he'd be a poor man again and sometimes I've even told him I'm nothing more than a meal ticket to him and his kids as I rarely see proof of anything different. Now if he'd play OFFENSE like my therapist and I agree on when his kids disrespect me, maybe I'd have more respect for him but for now I see him as a coward who is trying to keep his daughter happy and make me out to be the overreacting "learn to deal with it " wife. Sad, huh?

Just when I think our marriage is getting better one of the stepshits comes along and there goes a power struggle, begging time, favors asked, etc. and I'm just worn thin. I just want to get well and am thinking maybe I just need to BLOCK my husband out for a while and live with him like a ROOMMATE til he GETS IT. Is that cruel thinking?

Here is that quote:

"A stepmother might have to rise above a little more than
everyone else to make everything go smoothly and for everyone to feel
comfortable. It's one of the nicest gifts they could give."

- Elizabeth Howell