Not to disillusion, but not all is exactly as one might depict......
This is my first appearance on StepTalk, but I am Kevin the Man's Ex SO and fed up with the very skewed portrayal of myself. Kevin once invited me to read his blog, and by his invitation, I feel that I have a right to post a defense, so to speak. First of all, I've tried to end my relationship with Kevin since early July. However, despite my decision, which was mostly based on his controlling and domineering ways coupled with his inability to see his own part in the degeneration of our relationship, he refused to allow an end to our relationship, claiming he was "not giving up on me".
With regard to Restraining Order "stalking verbiage", would you call sitting 25 yards outside my bedroom window night after night, smoking and drinking stalking behavior? How would you like to wake up, and as my headboard is at the street facing window, look out the window to see the face of one you tried to end a relationship with in the glow of a cigarette at 2 am, 3 am, or 4 am? Would you call waiting in between parked cars at 6 am when I go out for a run stalking behavior? Would you call anywhere from 10-30 texts a day stalking behavior? Would you call appearing uninvited to walk beside me as I walk my dog stalking behavior? There is only one entrance to our street. I have no choice in my route to walk the dog out of our neighborhood, and to not walk him out would allow a mere 100 yards to exercise a very large dog. Too, to avoid him when I ran, I had tried to cut through the woods but in the pitch black would end up with cuts and scrapes from unseen briars in the dark. Am I supposed to have to do that to avoid him? Would you call knocking on the door when he knew that my boys, out of respect would open the door to his knock, despite the fact that I had asked him to not come on my property, stalking behavior? Would you call coming onto my property to speak to me, despite my request for him to not be there, then verbally assaulting my neighbor, when I said to please leave as I had nothing to say, stalking behavior? These are the behaviors that went into my request for the Restraining Order that, at his request, he negotiated with my attorney rather than appear before the judge. Maybe because it was number 3.
Also, those who had read his earlier posts would know that the request for the Restraining Order was not the first time that I had involved the police in our relationship. The first request for the Criminal Trespass order was after I had first tried to break up with him in early July, and his response had been to drunkenly beat on my doors until the neighbors involved themselves trying to drag him away, unrelentingly text and phone me, and generally harass me until I felt the need to ask for help.
With regard to my integrity and loyalty during our relationship, I just went on my first date this Saturday, November 7. I walked the dog for the first time at 3:30 in the morning. I've never done that before without it being with Kevin. The truck at the townhouse across from mine for a whole weekend was there because the owner of the vacant house was getting it ready to rent again. The friend that I had met a couple of times is just that, a friend. I've never followed a truck out of the neighborhood to my knowledge. I have been taking the dog to the dogpark around the corner every day since the rains turned my small yard into swampland, and the dog needs more space to run. My 9 year old often accompanies me. Too, I'll be delighted to ask the women friends who I've met there for their email addresses if anyone would like verification. It's been a lovely experience for me to meet women friends, as my own best friend died nearly two years ago, and I've missed her terribly as well as being lonely due to the absence of the relationship that Kevin and I had. My children are rarely left to their own devices. I've been out exactly twice since Kevin and I broke up- once with a woman friend and then the date Nov. 7 that I referred to already. When I was out with the woman friend, I was hounded by about 20 texts from Kevin. With regard to any vehicles that are seen in the neighborhood, sweet prancing Jesus, how should I account for people unknown to me? I do feel the need to post this as he did mention, I am a mother and a teacher, and though this is an anonymous site, I take my roles to heart.
I would hate for those of you who come here to vent and support one another to be wary, but not everyone is exactly as he/she presents himself/herself in his/her online persona.
this is really sad for all
this is really sad for all parties involved.
Truly sad.. but I called it!
Truly sad.. but I called it! two sides to every story! Sounds like a STALKER to me!!
"And this too shall pass..."
There are two sides, and boy
There are two sides, and boy howdy, I am far from perfect and have my faults. I would like to add something that I left out of my first post. With regard to the $150 that Kevin mentions paying for his portion of our phone bill. He actually gave me the money to help pay for the hole in the ceiling that was the result of his flooding my upstairs commode to the degree that it flooded my kitchen ceiling underneath the bathroom after refusing to believe that the wipes he used were commode friendly even though the label clearly states otherwise. He found someone to give a quote on fixing the ceiling which was $250. I still have the note saying the money is to help fix the ceiling. He later decided that somehow he wasn't the cause of the flood that immediately had my kitchen ceiling leaking and said to put the money towards his phone bill. I cut his service directly after the Temp. R. O. had been delivered, which happened to coincide almost exactly with what he had paid for, less the $150. And, he had charged $39.95 for downloads to my phone bill in the last month of his being on my service, which was not part of our agreement. I never asked Kevin for money in the course of our relationship that was not paid back. Did he pay for things? Sure. So did I in a very equitable manner.
Hmmph! And he got pissed
Hmmph! And he got pissed with me because I said he sounded like a "STALKER!" Now we know why!
I told the man to leave you alone but I guess he didn't listen. I told the man you didn't want him anymore and that you can't make someone be with you! But I guess he isn't listening!
Good luck to you and getting rid of him.
"And this too shall pass..."
I simply thank you for being
I simply thank you for being open to hearing the other side of the story. I'm uncertain why he invited me to read his blog in the first place as it is skewed back to his first entry, but I tried to simply give him his venue to vent despite hackles rising. I just got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore after his last cameo appearance. Again. Thank you for being open to hearing what I had to say.
You are welcome Ex SO! "And
You are welcome Ex SO!
"And this too shall pass..."
You can tell by his anger
You can tell by his anger and the way he tries to start fights that he's an a**hole. Please don't run at night through the park. I'm sure that creep is just waiting for an opportunity like that....be very careful.
Funny i was thinking the
Funny i was thinking the same thing! Watch your back ExSO!
"And this too shall pass..."
Ex So - I am so glad you
Ex So -
I am so glad you posted, as there are always two sides to every story. Like some of the other ST members, I too, wondered about how accurate a description Kevin was giving regarding your relationship. No matter what the circumstances, once one party has decided to make the break, the other party should respect that decision and move on. I've never understood why anyone would want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them, other than an unhealthy obsession. Even with a restraining order in place, remember it's just a piece of paper and if he's determined to harass you, he will no matter the consequences. Please take care and good luck to you.
Ex SO - I am so glad you
Ex SO - I am so glad you came on here to write and give your side of the story. Please please please be careful and watch your back. Please don't run in the woods and anytime he comes near you please go to a neighbor's house and call the police.
He is stalking you and he needs professional help.
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
Please be careful, I had a
Please be careful, I had a stalker ex once, It is the most uncomfortable feeling ever. Its violating and intrusive. He would show up at my supermarket and act like we just bumped into each other. He would wait in the garage. He would go to my kids sports games.
I got a restain order and after a while he got the hint. I still fell like he is out their.
I finally had to move.
Thank you all so much for
Thank you all so much for the expressed care and concern. I watch my back continually. It's simply unfortunate that it is now my normal.
Ex SO I have been in your
Ex SO I have been in your shoes. Like the others warned.....please be careful and watch your back.
I was wondering what the real story was here because KTM sounded way to much like a guy I used to date. I was the horrible, mean, awful, cold woman and he was the kind, understanding and warm man!
After marking his emails as spam, ignoring his calls, eventually blocking his calls and not answering my door....well he finally got the message. Eventually he'll get bored and find someone new annoy.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
WOW.... a lot of you women
WOW.... a lot of you women on here have some pretty good intuition! I thought you guys were just being mean to Kevin.... maybe didn't like him from before? BUT WOW! Good call ladies! EX... please be careful.... you're doing exactly what you should be doing to protect yourself... I hope you and he could move soon as I think being thisclose to him is far too close!
I'm not taking sides on this
I'm not taking sides on this since I can't seem to make out what or who is telling the truth, but If you want your Temp Order of Protection to be permanent you can't be following him around on the internet. It will damage your case for a permanent Order of Protection. Just my 2 cents. Good luck to both of you.
I knew the guy was a
I knew the guy was a stalker. I've never responded to anything he's said, though from time to time I've read it. I knew right off the bat something was wrong with him, so did many others but the second someone didn't agree with him his gloves came off.
I, personally, didn't like the way he always referred to sex in his blogs. That alone was enough for me to never talk to him.
Don't worry honey, I think most of us had a clue that something just wasn't right with his "stories". You broke up with him but he refused to leave you alone, he even admitted that time and time again. Yet he claims to not be stalking you? Blah.
I suggest you get a bullhorn keychain. They make those small enough that you can put on your key ring and if he comes any where near you blow it and scream at the top of your lungs until someone comes to help you. They also make pepperspray small enough to fit on your key ring. Spray first, ask questions later. Don't think it's okay, or that he's ever seeing the light, because with people like this, an obsession like this, isn't just going to go away.
I would also suggest you move. I know, harsh that you have to go through all of this. But your life is worth the work. Please, be careful. Always watch your back. Do what you can to get as far away from this stalker as possible.
I'll be praying for you honey.
this is his bio: "The lone
this is his bio: "The lone man stalks his two boys in the wind tossed elephant grass as the tribal queen quietly begs to be released from the post she is bound to."
~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~
Ummm... who writes that?
Ummm... who writes that? Psycho stalker man... that's who!
I wouldn't know...Im just
I wouldn't know...Im just plastic. One brain celled. no reading comprehension at all. }:)
~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~
Oh you silly ameba you!
Oh you silly ameba you!
Couldn't resist dontchaknow!
ur too cute ~Why run away?
ur too cute
~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~
I love the way you both sit
I love the way you both sit around, lick each others asses and man hate. Is there no hope for a man to be just that, a man?? I am not your brainwashed effeminate pansy man, I am Alpha!!
Kevin The Man
Hey Kevin The Man, I read
Hey Kevin The Man, I read all the posts and am not taking any sides, but why do you keep getting on here if you have no need to? It's done. There is no reason to get on here an attack members. Your situation sucks and I wish the best for you, but you need to move on.
"this is really sad for all
"this is really sad for all parties involved." just quoting my original reply to your exSO in regard to your situation. It's still how I feel insults aside. I think you're an odd individual Kevin just by things you post and the way you word things with such venom. but i suppose I'd feel angry too if I was sitting in your spot. no one ever said you were an "effeminate pansy man".
So again, to reiterate what I've been saying the whole time (until i got insulted) "this is really sad for all parties involved" Sorry you got put on the chopping block of steptalk and I regret even commenting in the first place on something I didn't understand. I am also sorry that it took the other women on this site in another blog to make me see you deserve just as much of a safe place to vent as the rest of us.
~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~
IsolatedBarbie Please stop
IsolatedBarbie
Please stop apologizing to this man! You have done nothing wrong!
He needs to move on and find another place to vent!
The vulgar language and the hostility is not warranted.
Kevin you really need to move on with your life and move the hell off of here!
"And this too shall pass..."
No kidding Barbie. You've
No kidding Barbie. You've apologized and been nice a million times. All he does is continually insult you and call you names. We all know the dude is a stalker.
**Now, c'mere and let me lick your ass because apparently when anyone agrees with you that's all they are doing.