Hello everyone. I doubt this is a unique problem so I am hoping someone out there can shed some light on this issue for me. My daughter and I have been living with my boyfriend for nearly a year now. She is 4 years old. Her relationshipo with my boyfriend is very difficult to define. I think she resents him and it frustrates my boyfirned to such a degree that he shuts down. My daughter can be very mean to him and he can be very tough on her. They are both strong personalities. I try to be the go between to smooth things out but that is not always possible or perhapse the right decision either. I tell my daughter that she needs to be nicer to my boyfriend and I tell my boyfriend that he needs to take a softer approach. Maybe I am getting in the way? I thought that by the time a year was up they would have figured out some kind of relationship together. My daughter does not have a father who is involved in her life so I thought it might be an easier transition but I was wrong. She does ask me lately if she can call my boyfriend daddy and my response is that she needs to talk to my boyfriend about it but when she does he says nothing and usually his daughter pipes up with "he's not your father so you can't call him daddy". I feel like this blend is never going to happen. It is compunded by the fact that my daughter is basically an only child for 80% of the time and when my boyfriend's kids come home she becomes the youngest and all the battles that come with that. So it can be confusing for her. She is head strong and needs rules. Does anybody have any advice for me on how to handle this situation? I worry about it all the time and hope constantly that they will find some kind of common ground. How can I help them? Do I just let them find ther own way or can I guide them or assist? Help!
Thanks everyone!