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Redo Wedding Vows input

fireemtmom7's picture

OK my DH and I have been together for 17 years married for 16. Recently we had his BD join our family. I would really like to redo our wedding vows with a sand unity for the kids to welcome each other into the family also. My dilemma how do I propose to my hubby and his BD?

arbiecat's picture

Is this bd an adult? If so I don't think including her in vows to your husband is appropriate. Really wedding vows are between the couple and frankly I don't think children should be involved in that. We lit a unity candle at our reception to signify uniting our two families - no vows, but the wedding was all about dh and I.

Sita Tara's picture

the kids were smaller though- I posted it on here for someone else a year or two ago. I'll see if I can find it.

As far as bringing it up, are you renewing your vows? I'm not sure I am understanding. If you want something formal to welcome her, maybe a celebratory dinner in her honor would be good.

Please tell me more! Smile

Orange County Ca's picture

Get on your left knee and spring the question.

*********************

Since no one else will thank you for what you've done I will do so now. Thank you for being important in a kids life. Fifty years from now its the only thing that will matter about your existance.

Sita Tara's picture

Sent you our unity candle one as well as the Dedication Ceremony for BD 3, since she wasn't around yet at the Unity ceremony.

They're long, so skim thru 'em. I'd like to hear what you do for this to honor SD's joining you all. Sounds really cool!

fireemtmom7's picture

OK I will clarify this. I am asking my husband to redo our wedding vows. But I also want to do a sand unity ceremony to show the BD that we have accepted her into the family. There will be a heart vase and all 8 of us will have a different color sand that we put into the heart vase to unify us as a family. I am also thinking of having some vows for the kids....

Something like this...

"________, I promise to be a good and faithful wife to you, and also a patient, loving mother to (children's names), I promise to be their strength and their emotional support, loving them with all my heart forever."

And now, (children's names), do you promise to love and respect your parent's new beginning together as a family? Do you promise to support their marriage and new family? Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them and support them in your new life together?"

But I am not sure how to ask BD to be a prt of it?

Sita Tara's picture

Are you sure she wants to? I know that my kids were younger, but SD asked to be the flower girl. Then she was super anxious, so we didn't give the kids anything to do that was a lot of pressure. All we did was have the boys walk me down the aisle, and SD do the flower petals, and then the unity candle, which they just had to lite it.

I don't know how old she is, but I would still suggest inviting her to participate, without attachment to whether or not she says yes.