FMIL playing favorites
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fmil came down and bought sd11 socks, underwear, and like 10 friggen outfits for school. bd3 is starting pre-k this year and fmil gave her 1 outfit. i spoke to bf about this and he said he will talk to his mom about the one-sidedness. he says he agrees with me, so thats a plus.
i dont doubt the love fmil has for bd3 but she puts so much emphasis on sd's past that it makes me sick. sd11 already has a huge problem with being self-centered, this doesnt help!
anyone else out there have problems with family members making the skids feel more 'loved' than the biokids?
That's a switch.
Usually the bio=kids get the generosity.
What is "fmil"? ? Mother In Law.
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future mother in law
...
1 is ours the other is just his
this is my bf's mom i am talking about. sd is bf's. bd3 is mine and bf's, so they are both fmil's grandchildren.
I hate favoritism. I grew up
I hate favoritism.
I grew up with it and as a child I thought it was wrong.
My mom even told me I was her favorite.
That is disgusting to me. It just seems wrong.
It doesn't matter if it is you being favoured or the one being left out, it sucks.
I had a step son for 7 years and my mom never acted like she does with my now bio son.
This has always bothered me.
And just a few days ago I read this in the bible...
James 2
Favoritism Forbidden
1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. 2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. 3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," 4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
5Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 6But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? 7Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?
8If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself,"[a] you are doing right. 9But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. 10For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 11For he who said, "Do not commit adultery,"[b] also said, "Do not murder."[c] If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.
12Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!
MIL Treating Schildren As Favorite Results in Spoiled SChildren
My MIL had 7 grandchildren - four of which ended up with divorced parents. She always overcompensated the 4 grandchildren in divorce situations and practically ignored the remaining three grand children from the intact families (I am the mother of two of the grandchildren from an intact family and SM to two of the grandchildren from a prior marriage). My BDs quickly realized at a very young age that MIL did not treat them as well. They were never invited to go to the zoo, shopping, etc. They never recieved Nintendo games and other presents for no reason. When large volumes of presents/clothing were bought for the Skids - nothing was purchased for BDs. BDs of course still loved MIL but once they became old enough they did notice a difference in how they were treated.
I also observed MIL taking my SILs stepkid's side behind SILs back many times for years before I ever had any biological children myself. This I'm sure was done to try to continue/cement her bond with them but it was very destructive to the realtionship my SIL had with her Skids. At this time I was according to my MIL the best thing that ever happended in my Skids lives because I was a much better influence and mother than the crazy BM - according to my MIL.
I think that my MIL was trying to overcompensate for the divorce situation in all of the Skids lives by doing these things. However, all of these 4
skids ended up becoming a bunch of demanding, never satisfied, whining adults that have never taken responsibility for their own lives (they are all now in their 30s and 40s).
BIL talked to MIL and tried to explain how hurtful her actions were to his remaining BS. He tried to explain that as a result of her behavior his remaining BS as a young adult now wanted very little to do with her because of her playing favorites but we saw no change in her behavior.
Hopefully, your MIL would be more open to reason because based upon my experience she is not helping the SKs by doing this (they just grow up feeling entitled). She could also be endangering her future relationship with the other grandchildren.