The ex wife at my wedding!?!?!?!
The ex wife and BM of my fiance still goes to all of his family functions on his mothers side, which is weird because when she is there his family really dosnt talk to me very much but when shes not they act all nice and normal. Well my fiance seems to think that since she invited us to her wedding we should do the same. (We didnt go to hers) I dont want her there considering now she is just plain rude, and ignores me everytime my fiance and I drop of her son. she wont even aknowldge me when I try to say anything to her. So my fiance and I got into this big argument and it ended with me just telling him "Fine you can invite her but don't expect me to be there" Personally I feel that it's my one day where I should have to deal with her attitude talk to her or see her. Is it to much to just want one day of a break?!?! my future mother in law still introduces the ex wife as her daughter in law to people! its frusturating....
Also to top it all of my fiance and I are saving up for IVF so we can have a child together and HIS mother and his ex wife seem to think that since we can put money aside for IVF he should be able to pay more for child support, he pays 210$ A WEEK. in CS You would think thats enough right?!?! AND he dosnt even make that kind of money anymore he is working two jobs just so we can still make our bills. I work as a assistant chefalthough I do make good money it goes straight into our bank account for bills that we are falling behind on and some of it goes into the IVF fund.
What to do!!
No freakin' way!
JamaicanMeCrazy
LIVE LOVE LAUGH
Your wedding day is YOUR'S and your fiance's day - you shouldn't have to be stressing over BM on this special day. Your fiance is way off base, I don't care if BM did invite you to her wedding, you shouldn't have to reciprocate. What's next, is he going to invite her along for the honeymoon? NO WAY, baby!
Give him a big fat NO....
...and don't feel guilty for one second about saying it. This is YOUR day...don't let your FH or anyone convince you to invite anyone that would make you feel uncomfortable in the slightest.
He teels his mother about the IVF things and
He tells his mom about things that like that and she tells his ex about them after.
OMG
JamaicanMeCrazy
LIVE LOVE LAUGH
that's becoming a MAJOR problem for DH & I too. He tells his mom about stuff we're doing and of course it all leads back to money. Hey, until someone else is paying my bills and taking care of me or DH, how I spend my hard earned money is none of anyone's business. I pretty much told my in-laws that last Sunday after several digs by my FIL about our finances.
hahaha I have tried
I have tried and tried the bundaries thing and tried to keep her out of the loop, and DH seems to think thats not right and we shouldnt have to be so secretive.
No to the wedding.
Does not the system have a relative standard amount of child support? I.e. if its to be less or more doesn't there have to be a good reason?
It's your wedding so nobody gets invited unless you both agree. Your fiance does have a point but since it bothers you so much he should agree with you.
If necessary tell him if she shows up you won't.
*********************
There's an exception to everything I say.
Don't understand
why any ex spouse would go to their former's wedding. Can't think of a single scenario where that would be a good thing.
I see trouble on the horizon with the MIL - BM thing. Your FH apparently operates on the open and honest method, which is fine most of the time, but he doesn't realize that some people thrive on drama and gossip. If you read on here, you'll see that over-attachment with the BM is quite common. I don't see a problem with cordial relationships but all too often the BM isn't cordial yet the former ILs act like the divorce never happened or that BM takes precedence over the 2nd wife. It's happened to me, and is a reflection of the ILs power trips and poor mental states. Also with the money thing, this enmeshment and entitlement mentality leads to BM thinking that all of the EX's resources still belong to BM and you and your needs, kids and home are competition. "All I have is mine and all YOU have is mine."
Why is your FH so invested in pleasing BM over you? The woman is rude to you. Doesn't he see that?
Who does he want to please
Who does he want to please more is future wife, or his ex wife? If he’s more worried about her feelings than yours that’s something to consider. I would also be concerned that she may be trying to prevent you two from being able to have a child of your own by preventing you two from being able to save for your IVF. I agree these matters are not her business and DH needs to stop talking so much about personal issues with his mother.
i would
tell your mother in law (mil) to butt the fuk out! I would tell your fh that if his mother is not loyal to your family then she doesnt need to be a part of it. What you do with your money is not any of their concern! The fact that mil and bm even discuss ANYTHING about you and your fh shows that she 1. does not respect you 2. has no problem betraying her son!
the wedding, Hell fuking no would the ex be invited. If any one has a problem with that i would remove them from the guest list as well. I just got married and i can tell you hell would have frozen over before i invited bm, or my mil for that matter.
A major part of mil not being in our life is because she has become best buds with bm, because she found out she couldnt manipulate and control my life with MY HUSBAND! If your fh is not willing to stand up to his mother for you, or the other inlaws and how they treat you i would suggest DONT GET MARRIED, your life will be hell!
Your day, your guest list,
Your day, your guest list, your memories!
Bio mom will NOT be present
Bio mom will NOT be present on our wedding day. She will not be invited. No effing way. I don't blame you for feeling that way, not in the slightest. It's YOUR day with your future husband, you don't need his ex wife to celebrate this event with you.
??????????? No F'in WAY.
Your wedding your call. The fact that your FH would even suggest the idea would tend to move him to the Former Fiance list if I were you.
Good luck and best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
have one of your friends act
have one of your friends act as a bouncer and kick the bitch out............ on my wedding day, my mil thought it would be a good idea to use my professional photographer and get a picture of the whole family dressed up (DH, sil, bil, ss, sd and niece) but NOT me........... f'n thought i was going to lose my mind...... maid of honor kept me sane and that photo just never came out....almost 5 yrs ago and it still makes my blood boil...
best of luck to you!!! don't expect it to get better after the big day......get fiance in check -- that's my dh's problem, doesn't want to upset anyone