He was "showing off for the boys?" What kind of lame excuse is that?

Whatever happened to crushing beer cans on your forehead as a way of showing off?

He deserved that slap. Was it just like they show in the movies?

Those kind of character lapses are indicative of extreme weak moral and character constitution.

Take him for everything he is worth and dump his ass to the curb.

He is no man and he does not deserve you.

Best regards,

I too think it is a lame excuse and good for you for giving him a slap - like you say that was pretty restrained in the circumstances!

If you don't have kids with him I would be inclined to get the hell out now. I know it is easy for me to say as I don't have to do it but what kind of man takes his marriage vows that lightly? Clearly if his ex had been up for it then he would have seen that as a green light and gone at it like rabbits. Hardly fair on you and good for his ex for refusing him!

He sounds very immature and clearly confused.

Best case scenario I would suggest would be to say to him that you need to get some marriage counselling and by the way HE is paying for it!

There are clearly things in your marriage going on in his head that you are not party to. Sort it out now before this gets even messier.

Bottom line is that you can't trust him and he needs to deliver some truth into our marriage by being honest with you.

Good luck.

I would be really pissed.! I think at minimum you need to be present for ANY discussions between BM and him. I am not sure this is recoverable as it is SO disrespectful. So sorry dear, that was a stupid move on his part.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

I am sorry that you have to feel this kind of pain. Past behavior is an indicator of future behavior so think about it very seriously before you stay in this relationship. Out of a million people that he could have disrespected you with why did it have to be that one?

"to show off" or "being seriously" although different purposes both are extremely disrespectful to you...

I can't believe that Sh!t... what a DumbbbbbA$$$

DO NOT TOLERATE such behavior...

Your H totally crossed the line. I'm suprised you just slapped him I would have beat the living crap out of him in front of everyone and the cops would have probably had to haul me off of him. If there is one thing in the world that I can not get over is cheating, even it if not physical, it is emotional. Showing off for the boys my ass. That is BS and I don't know what the hell he thought he was doing but yeah BM may be smirking behind your back cuz you H is a complete jerk but you would have bigger problems if she was texting him back telling him to come over. I don't know how you are going to be able to trust him again after this. I think you guys need to consider going to marriage counseling. I wish you good luck. HUGS - and I'm so sorry he was such an IDIOT!

When a spouse is unfaithful or deceitful, its very rare that a couple moves completely past it and stays together. They may try, but it rarely lasts. Its just too hard to repair the damage. Now add to the fact that it involves BM...no freakin way. I'd cut my losses...take the kids and leave..start counseling..do something. Do NOT just let this "blow over" You'll never moved past it or forget if its just swept under the rug and not dealt with. I personally would move on because I would never trust him again, ESPECIALLY if it was BM. Thats the ultimate betrayal. But whatever you decide to do, do SOMETHING!!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

I woulda done a heck of a lot more than slap that dude-he would have been laid up for at least a week!!! Oh believe me, I've done it before. The phone would have been crushed to pieces under my heel and maybe his head too. You gotta get rid of that douchebag-he isn't worth the time of day!

"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."

As far as I'm concerned there is no excuse, cause, reason that he could say that would justify it. I would have grabbed his dingleberries and twisted them like I was wringing water out of a washcloth. How do you trust again after that? How do you not know if it hasn't happened already? How do you not know that if BM just wanted to get back at you it wouldn't happen like yesterday? Because what that says to me is that if BM wanted, she could and he would in a heartbeat. NOPE. I would be planning my exit strategy. Two years of marriage and he is still thinking about BM? NOPE. How do you come back from that?

Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P

earning trust after such betrayal is tough and will take lots of time and healing.
He will have to work hard to earn your trust and if the marriage is important to you then you will have to learn to move past it, not forget but move on.

Now ..
I like everyone else would have kicked him right in his eyenuts...then as he was down on the ground kicked him there again.
joke or not show off or not, he disrespected you and your marriage..castrate him..lol..sorry Rags.

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

with everyone else...basically. I would've ended up in jail that night I'm sure. I would've been just as pissed at the BM too.but honestly it doesn't sound like she was going for it either. It sounds like your DH disrespected her also. I would call her up and talk to her, to see if there is more to the story and to see what else possible may have gone on. I also understand where you are coming from in saying that everytime you see her now she will have a smirk..like a "I have one up on you now"

Wow..this is a tough one. I wish you all the luck in whatever you choose to do.

seems you have an unfaithful and immature husband.
Personally I would not tolerate bad childish man like this, only because I am older and have seen how things turn out for women who do and trust me its not going to get better.

You have some soul seraching and choices to make it seems.

Personally, cheating is a total deal-breaker for me. Even if you H didn't do it, the fact that he wanted to, and would have if BM had been up for it, is good enough for me. I would have left him without a backward glance. I could never trust again that the person I thought I was married to was a total facade.

Even if I wanted to try to work it out, this is the second deal-breaker:

"He just thinks it should blow over."

The absolute ONLY way I would even consider trying to work things out with someone who planned to cheat on me would be if he was falling all over himself apologizing, weeping uncontrollably and begging me to take him back, promising that he would do ANYTHING I asked him to to prove he was sincere and would NEVER cheat again. Anything less is unacceptable.

Honestly, I don't know how you will be manage to forget this and not feel humiliated. I wish I had some suggestion for you.

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

My sympathies. I think this has to be one of the most difficult situations to overcome. First, since you do have kids if you decide to try and work it out there would be not only counseling but also specific boundaries. He should not be communicating with her without your knowledge and it should be kept to e-mail unless it is an emergency. Secondly, he does sound very immature and lacks good morals otherwise he wouldn't have given you an excuse such as he did and furthermore disrespected you in the process. Ugh, I want to slap him just thinking about it.

If you can take a few steps back and look at how he has conducted his life. If he has made poor choice throughout his life then he will probably continue to do so until he decides to change. If he does not then there is nothing you can do to change him and you need to then decide if you could live with it. I think you deserve better as life is WAY TOO SHORT for this kind of crap and the feelings that you are having and will continue to have if you don't trust him.

Good Luck with everything and keep us posted.

Best Regards,

This story is disgusting! You should never have to put up with that kind of disrespect from your husband! If it were me I would have kicked his a** out in the street. I had an issue where BM was emailing my ex asking him to get back together and I almost kicked him out for not telling her to go to hell! (He told her no but gave her this cutsie story about how she would find happiness) I cant imagine any excuse that he could give you being good enough!

A- thank the exwife for resepcting that boundray and turning him down.
b - kick your husband in the nuts so hard that his balls are blue for a month.

every womans worst fear is that there is still some underlying connection between her husband and his exwife and that one day he might just up and leave you for her...well him texting her to get his dick wet might as well make that illusion a reality,

he had no rights to do that to you and disrespect you that way...some friends he has to even let him get away with that

I would keep my gaurd up from now on