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The Step parent welcome kit

Catlover's picture

Submitted by Catlover on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 9:22pm

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General Discussion

So you know how the "Welcome Wagon" comes in some communities to visit and bestow upon you special coupons/gifts etc to welcome you..... Well, I think there should be a Step Parent welcome kit which would contain essential items for survival. Here's what I think should be in the "goody bag"...
1. Ear Plugs (to muffle the whining and occasional "you're not my mother" comments.)
2. A Red Sharpie (to clearly display on the calendar in permanent ink the appointments you will not be rescheduling to meet everyone else's needs)
3. A portable voice recorder (to clear up any confusion about what you did or did not say to the skids.
4. A gift card to your fave store (to purchase yourself something nice for your birthday which will be forgotten every year.)

So what would be in your welcome kit??

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 9:24pm

JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

a backbone to give to the DH so he can finally stand up to the skids!

Done's picture

Submitted by Done on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 9:36pm

A first aid kit containing neosporin for the nasty little tongue lashings we get from the step kids, vitamins that give you thicker skin, and drugs GLORIOUS drugs...xanax, valium you get the point.

The Principlist's picture

Submitted by The Principlist on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 10:38pm

Not just ANY boots either. Some ASS-Kickin' boots cuz you WILL need them. Make them durable and strong cause they WILL get a good working out.

People who get on HIGH Horses will find the fall to be painful. ~ME :->

ferretmom's picture

Submitted by ferretmom on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 10:48pm

I highly recommend steel toes to achieve that. They work wonders to calm a situation down fast. Plus you don't have to kick anyone just accidentally step on their toe. }:)

Endora's picture

Submitted by Endora on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 8:02am

Gee Skid-I have no idea why your 24/7 XBOX is NOT working today, guess you will just have to camp out at Johnny's house for awhile.... }:)

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

Serena's picture

Submitted by Serena (not verified) on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:28am

I think my marriage should have come with a one year "insta-annulment" kit. That way I could, at any time in the first year, just pack it all in and go back to my easy life as a single parent!

Endora's picture

Submitted by Endora on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:48am

Your post reminded me of something-

A girlfriend of mine who is single-her kids moved out and she downsized to a beautiful 1 bedroom apartment -that she tastefully and inexpensively furnished/decorated-

She can go home after work to peace/candles/wine ....sometimes I miss those days....(do I sound envious?)

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

Serena's picture

Submitted by Serena (not verified) on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:59am

I feel bad about that, because DH is blissfully happy in our very new marriage. Of course I'd be happy too, if I were married to ME and a step parent to MY kids, but oh well. But alas, I'll stick with my committment (mostly because I don't want the stigma of being divorced TWICE) and because I DO love my husband. Sometimes love just isn't enough, ya know?

BorBor's picture

Submitted by BorBor on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:43am

1. T shirt that says "I know Im not your mother"
2. A scanner so you keep track of all the stuff that you bought that land up at BM house.
3 Hard liquor
4.Antidepressents
5 A T shirt for skid, says "Shes not my mother"

doglover1's picture

Submitted by doglover1 on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:46am

a remote control, like on that movie click. you can go back in time and change things. Like when DH/BF met there now ex's

secondwife20's picture

Submitted by secondwife20 on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 11:50am

so I can send BM and SD8 to Pluto. Smile