shoe on the other foot
Well well. I have been dealing with SD8 for a while (we now have full custody and BM has EOW) and its been up and down. Listening to the whinning DADDDY or DADDY come here at least 40 times per day. I get very little alone time , not to mention alone time with H. Some days I really dont want to go home. OK...here's the deal. My mom passed away over a year ago unexpectly ...and my Dad has been a big part of our lives since then. I have him over every weekend and added a room to our house for him if he wants to stay anytime. Well he met someone....yea im happy happy that he is happy. But i really dont want to meet her. I dont even want to be in the same room with them together. Really its weird how im feeling. I feel like i would puke if i saw him kiss her. Still i am happy for him and he and her can do whatever they want , as long as i dont have to be part of it. I cant beleive im feeling this way. Does anyone have a similar circumstance?
i don't have the same circumstance
but my parents have been married over 33 years and counting...... I would probably feel the same way you do. Especially if it had only been a year. I would probably have a hard time accepting anyone other than my mom.
Maybe it would help to talk to your dad about how you feel.
I don't know what to say other than that.
When my DH's mother passed
When my DH's mother passed away 5 years ago, his father remarried almost a year later. It was hard for the family to accept, the women he married was very nice sweet and almost his age.. His father was about 69 at the time he remarried. When he was alone, it was really hard for him because his entire adult life he was with a person, sleeping eating. Someone was always their. He really felt lost. He needed a companion and the women he married filled that lonely void
It was always very clear to everyone that he was not remarrying because he fell madly in love or that his wife that passed away was being replaced. He married for the second time, because he needed a companion, he didnt want to be alone and he enjoyed her company. Life is short and he still wanted to enjoy it with someone
DH mother picture is always out so is the second wife's former husband that passed also) No-one has hesitation about mentioning DH mother, her name comes up in a conversation. It does not have that first wife ,,second wife situation. Her memory is kept alive. Their is no jealousy, they are way to old and wise.
So I know its hard for you to meet her, but if it is important to your Dad, you should be strong and put a smile on. It may not work out but he will be please that you stood beside him.
Im sure that your Mom would not want to see your Dad unhappy too.
Im sorry to hear about your MOm,,
ever happiness to all
My GrandMother re-married a year after my GrandDad died.
But it never bothered me. I am grateful that she had a companion to live the end of her life with. She and my GrandDad were married for ~50 years when he passed. She remarried a year later when on her 70th B-day to the high school sweet heart she was dating when she met my GD.
She passed away when she was 90 one month to the day after her birthday and her 20th anniversary to my her second husband. he passed away 6mos later at 96.
I am not sure how I would feel about either of my parents getting back in to dating if one or the other of them passes. They have been married for 46 years and have been the foundation of my life my whole life. Either of them would find the other hard to follow with another mate and unless I picked the next spouse for them I am not sure I could be particularly supportive or accepting of the new mate.
However, I agree with BorBor, try to be there for your Dad and be a part of his life and his new partner(s). He and you will both be the better for it I think.
I am sorry about the still recent loss of your mother.
Best regards,
thanks
for all your imput. Ill put a smile on and do the best i can. Im meeting her on friday.
He is lonely
I too am sorry for the loss of your mother. Your dad is very lonely I'm sure and he is probably just looking for a companion. My parents have been married for 58 years and I don't know what my father would do if he didn't have my mother around. He is used to the constant companionship. I'm sure it is hard for you because nobody can replace your mother of course but I think in your case it sounds like you are happy that your father has someone but it just feels "wierd" right?
If i knew
that this person traeted my mom/dad good and seen that they were happy than i would feel good about that.Everyone deserves to live a happy life.
I understand
why you would feel that way and it is ok ...grin and bear it for your dad
I am sure that he is lonely and just needs a person in his life and that your mom will ALWAYS be number 1!!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."