BM threatens to move away!
Hello, I am new to this site but am so GLAD to have found it! I think is will be a mind saver!! The day after thanksgiving BM called up BD and said that she is moving sometime after the first of the year to a town about an
hour away...seems to be no big deal to most however, with BD job he works weekends and won't get to see them hardley ever as compared to now...which is tuesday-thursday every week!! He takes part in schooling, does homework, gets them up and takes them, picks them up, goes and eats lunch with them and is an all around part of the daily grind with them! If she moves away with them the school is worse, has no sporting groups like YMCA there(which SS is a natural at ever sport 
so that will hurt him) and SD is so shy that it took her 6-8 weeks before she would talk to ANYONE at school! BM isn't thinking of anyone but her self and what she wants! We have tried to discuss this with her and she will say you(BD) can come spend time with us and see us any time you wnat to(WHAT...US?, you mean his children?) She says she isn't staying here for him any more and wants to be happy, OMG, then move and find someone else after 5 years!! She isn't so sane!! We have recorded calls and are keeping a calendar of the amount of time we get with them to show how much time LESS we will get, and taking them to a councler to help with the adjustment(so we told her) it basicly so that we have a professional on our side to say that the kids will not benifit from moving and do not want to go, and as soon as she quits her job or puts house up for sale SURPRISE we are taking her back to court to try and get custody!! Does anyone have any other sugestions in this matter of what could help us build a stronger case? It is hards enough for dads to get any kind of time here in nebraska let a lone custody.....any suggestions......please!
Does she need help packing? After your DH gets the kids OC.
If your DH is engaged in his kids lives then he should be able to block the move through the courts or get primary custody.
In many states neither parent is allowed to move if the move separates the kids from the other parent. I would recommend that your DH get on this one very quickly and make a legal motion to block the move.
If she moves he should go for custody or at the very least a fixed visitation with time in the summer, Christmas/Winter break and spring break.
My SS has visitation with his BioDad/PaternalBioFamily ~7wks per year with 5wks in the summer, 1wk winter and 1wk spring break.
This works pretty well for us because it allows my SS to have a relationship with his halfsibs and we have time to detox him from the crap he picks up when he is with his BioDad and the idiots on that leg of his family.
Good luck and best regards,
I wish I wish...
I wish it were as easy as what SHOULD BE AND SHOULDN'T BE allowed through the courts! We went to see an attorney about this, one that specializes in these types of cases...he said that it is hard for dads to retain custody in any situation unless we can prove the mother unfit due to drug use or something along those llines. Last summer she did get suspended from work for a dirty U.A.. He said we can use it however because it has been so long since we reacted to it, it prob won't have much weight! I know she is still smoking weed though because she calls in sick to work all the time for no reason! My DH will go to pick kids up from sitter and POOF she's there instead! UGH! I wish..I wish...we had something on her! It just seems like such a cruel cruel law to allow a BM to take kids away from such a wonderfull father!
LET HER GO
And fight for fulll custody. There is a very famous family trial that took place right here where I live. You can look it up~ Burgess vs Burgess. The mom wanted to move 45 minutes away, at first the courts allowed it, but after the dad proved that there was no benifit to them moving (i.e.~ no immediate family inthe town they were moving to, no job for her to go to, no real reason to up root the kids) the dad won full custody and now the mom has visitation rights. Check it out. I think it will be helpful for you. I PRAY for the day that BM moves away, then we can just have SS and she can go live her insane life somewhere else... EOW is enough for her.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )
THANK YOU!
I will research this....every bit helps put my mind at ease!! That sounds like the same exact thing! Her parents do live in this town and the house she wants to move into is her grandmothers but other than that she would be leaving a job she has had for 11 years, a house that is cheap(700/mnth), the same school that both SS & SD have started at! They go there every weekend as it is now, so just continue life as is...ud think!! But we have her on tape saying now that DH is with me she is staying here for him anymore! Yikes! Thats going to hurt her...I HOPE!
Again, thank you for the pass along!
???
Do you know where I would find that? Burgess vs Burgess in CA? I googled it and nothing really came up...just some bed & breakfast! lol
Try this link
http://www.divorcenet.com/states/california/ca_art08
It details the trial, how she originally won, then dad went back and was able to prove that the move will adversly affect the kids due to limited contact with him, and other topics.
Its good reading!
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )
Unfortunately the Supreme Court reversed the Appellate Court.
And the move was allowed.
Thats not my understanding.
It sounded as though the dad at first lost, and she was allowed to move, and then they reversed it and she was not able to take the kids...
"The Court of Appeal reversed the decision of the Trial Court, stating that Wendy failed to show her move was necessary. Wendy appealed to the California Supreme Court, which reversed the decision of the Court of Appeal. The Supreme Court concluded that an initial custody determination is based upon the best interests of the children. A parent seeking to relocate does not have to establish that a move is necessary in order to have custody. Similarly, after a custody order is in place, the custodial parent seeking to relocate does not have to establish that the move is necessary, but instead has a right to change residence of the children subject to the power of the court to prevent a move that would prejudice the rights or welfare of a child."
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )
I may be missing something ...
I interpreted it to be that the Trial court allowed Mom to move with the kids. The Appellate Court then overturned the Trial Court and prevented the Mom from moving with the kids. The State Supreme Court then reversed the Appellate court ruling that the custodial parent could move the kids at their own discretion unless the move was found to be detrimental to the welfare of the child.
But, I am not a legal professional and the end of the passage you pasted in gets a little fuzzy I think.
Flip, flop, flip, flop ........... wouldn't it be nice if the courts could just make a clear decision? Yes custodial parents can move with the kids without permission of the NCP. Or ..... No they can't. One way or the other rather than the grey area non rulings that seem to be prevalent.
Best regards,
Thats how I understood it as well
And I agree, there should be a clear cut rule for this. Usually in WI, where I live, if the CP wants to move more than 150 miles away, the child stays with the NCP. With a couple of exceptions...
-the child is moving with CP to be closer to family (granted there is NO family where they currently live)
-the parent must move in order to stay afloat (important job that is moving them....army)
I actually...
Went to high school with one of the kids... she lived with her dad here, and her mom had visitation. I didn't know the details when we were in school. When I became a SM and BM threaten to move away, I did some research and this came up~ strange that I remember the girl being gone for a few months and then coming back, all I knew was that her mom moved an hour away and she went with her, but then came back shortly after. The court did overturn the original desicion because mom could not prove that it was in their best interest. DAD won~
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )