our little secret
We just found out yesterday about this. SD8 tells H that she and her mom have a secret and she (SD) is supposed to not tell anyone. Brillant of BM to say that to SD cuz we all know that kids cant keep secrets. Anyway So SD spills the beans. Bm told her that "what happens in our house stays in our house" . SD says that means she is not supposed to tell that there is no food in the house and that mom sleeps all day and doesnt take SD to school. This is because she is up all nite shoveling pills down her throat!...Pretty much we allready knew this.
We go to court next month and are trying to get full custody. IT probably wont happen. She'll get a slap on the wrist at best im sure. But hopefully she will get her butt in gear and take care of her kid for a while.
I really feel sorry for some of these kids
It's hard to imagine how and why some parents abuse or neglect their kids. And when you do try to get custody, you can't, then after something bad happens people scratch their heads and try to figure out what went wrong. Perhaps those in charge who make these bad decisions should be held accountable...then maybe they would take their jobs a little more seriously.
My mom moved so that she could take care of my 11-year-old nephew. He's living with her now and his mother doesn't even seem to care, like it's one less thing she has to worry about. She has a 15-year-old daughter pregnant to a 22-year-old, and she has a 5-year-old who is a total terror who beats on my nephew and he's not allowed to defend himself because he's bigger. So he's supposed to just sit there and take it? My nephews' mom smokes meth and is stupid to think that no one notices. HELLO! She has about 5 teeth left in her mouth, has sores all over her arms and legs, is skinny as a rail...she has all the signs!
My mom emailed me yesterday to say she ran in to one of my nephews' teachers who told her she intervened in the nick of time, that my nephew was on the verge of going the wrong way. She said she notices that my nephew now goes to school clean and neatly dressed and his grades are improving. He's eating good, regular meals instead of popcorn for dinner, has a nice clean bed all to himself. He told us that at his moms he has to share a room with the little brother and that one night this kid got up and peed in my nephews' face...that's the kind of stuff he has to put up with.
Sorry about the rant. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Can you prove it?
If you can prove it that would help a lot. It has to be more than gut instinct and what the child says. It would be great if you could get some.
Good luck in court! I hope you get the outcome you want!
Add drug tests to the agreement
tell your lawyer that you want to be able to test her at any time. Ours recommended that we add a stipulation that allows us to test BM up to like six times a year at HER expense. If she comes up positive for drugs, the kids don't go with her.
We haven't added this yet, we haven't gone to court to put our final/permenant order in place, but we've discussed it with the lawyer and are going to push for it. He said it's no problem, he's done it before.
You may not get full custody this time, but let her fail a test and you'll have some great leverage!