Are you living with a Sociopath
For the last week or so, I've gotten to know so many of you Wonderful Women. And the loving support has been so overwhelming, it brings tears to my eyes.
My life has been anything but dull-and I find myself now seeking peace and tranquility. Don't know if I'll ever achieve it, but it is my Holy Grail. I wish I'd known this kind of support during my divorce from my first husband. I won't go into details-it would take me a week to even touch on what our marriage was like. I'll just leave it that he was diagnoised as being a Sociopath. And life was hell. Soooo, being well acquainted with the traits, I now wonder about my new H and what that same psychiatrist (well respected in his field-actually voted on to a State Board because of his reputation)would have to say about him. He warned me that women tend to seek out the same type of man to marry over and over again.
Anyway, this isn't about me-it's about what so many of you are living in. I found a good list of personality traits of sociopathism-now, a sociopath probably won't display every trait here (for example, my ex never stated he wanted to rule the world), but if they seem to fit someone you are living with, this is a really good place to begin. It's as follows:
Glibness/Superficial Charm
Manipulative and Conning
Grandiose Sense of Self
Pathological Lying
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
Shallow Emotions
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Narcissism, grandiosity (self-importance not based on achievments)
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world
The link is
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_if_someone_is_a_sociopath
If this helps just one of you, I'll at least feel that I've done something positive today!
EEK
A lot of those are the same as SD's behavior. I hope she doesn't "progress" up the ladder to outright sociopath.
She is due to have a psychiatrist eval, we're in the process of finding one right now since her psychologist moved out of town and felt we were ready to step up due to the behavior elevating.
Interesting list. A lot of them are on the various personality disorder lists too, and of course sometimes sociopath goes along with PDs.
I sympathize with your situation. Hope you didn't chose a similar guy. Does he have several of the same traits?
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Pretty frightening, isn't it
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
I remember a talk show-think it was probably Dr. Phil, but don't swear to it-anyway, they said we are raising a nation of sociopaths. Imagine that. Looking at many of the posts on here, these kids seem to be full of narcissism-when is a trait that is supposed to lesson very early in childhood...but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Anyway, just a quick count, H seems to display at least 10 of these traits-but, then, my state of mind this week isn't all that objective, either.
HMMMMMMMM,I'm not sure, I
HMMMMMMMM,I'm not sure, I don't think BF is a sociopath, he only has 4 of the above traits and they are not to severe with him either, but I'll keep my eyes open.
Bewitched - The more posts I read of yours the more I find out the your life has been one up hill battle. It's time to push all this negativity away and just focus on you cause if you don't look after you, no one else will.
I hope you find your peace and tranquility, you deserve it!
Hmmm.... is it a full moon or something?
I am and have been feeling highly sensitive myself. I watched Fried Green Tomatoes with my sons last night. And there's the scene where Evelyn (Kathy Bates) tells Mrs. Threadgood (Jessica Tandy) that she can't stop eating candy bars and crying, to which Mrs T says, "Oh honey! You just need some hormones!!!!" Then Evelyn goes on hormones and starts having the energy to exercise, eat healthy, and stand up for herself.
Wish I could get me some o- those hormones! I'm sure I am peri-menopausal at 40 1/2.
But alas...I am hormonally exempt due to a two year battle with a stubborn blood clot.
Can't take them. Not allowed to.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Thanks for posting that list
Thanks for posting that list my sd hits on nearly every one. I'll make a copy and take it to our therapist tomorrow. Sita Tara try Black Current Oil capsules, I'm menopausal and can't take HRT because I have ITP and they really help me.
I will!
My sister works in an herbal/health food store. I'll see if she has those!
Thanks!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Good luck at the Therapist office!
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
ferretmom-I pm'd you.
Our BM has these (of the
Our BM has these (of the listed). She has been officially diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder, but I have always maintained that she's a total sociopath. My husband has known her for over twelve years and agrees with the entire list. If the shoe fits...
Glibness/Superficial Charm (or what she tries to pass off as charm-comes across as desperate and unhinged flirting, even with women)
Manipulative and Conning
Grandiose Sense of Self
Pathological Lying
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
Shallow Emotions
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Narcissism, grandiosity (self-importance not based on achievements)