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EOW-How many people here only have custody then?

gobbism's picture

Submitted by gobbism on Tue, 01/22/2008 - 8:14pm

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My FH used to only get EOW which left us without much time alone. We just changed it to be every other EOW, alternating with a couple weeknights. I really like this arrangement much better, plus FH gets a better handle on FSS's schoolwork.

Any thoughts on this?

sixxnguns's picture

Submitted by sixxnguns on Tue, 01/22/2008 - 9:26pm

we had FSS every other week but 50/50, I think is too stressful on kids...they never have a permanent place to stay they're always going back and forth, plus BM started causing alot of drama and playing the blame game...we gave her FSS fulltime and we have him every other weekend...it's ALOT better like this and less stressful on our household, even though she's turning FSS into a spoiled brat even worse than he was before...but after fighting for a year for custody we're not gonna fight it anymore

LVmyBOXERS's picture

Submitted by LVmyBOXERS on Tue, 01/22/2008 - 10:04pm

EOWend. I would not have it any other way. Just having them here 4 days a month is more than I can take some times.

Catch22's picture

Submitted by Catch22 on Tue, 01/22/2008 - 10:29pm

We have a very casual EOW arrangement. When I met DH he was always fighting to have him every weekend, usually losing. Once he met me and my BS had EOW vistation with his dad, we sync-ed the weekends so we had 2 kids one weekend and none the other and it was great for everyone.

As kids get older they like to have 2 weekends a month to see their friends near the BM's house too. I strongly agree with 2 points made in this post. One is that the kids need more stability of being at one house more of the time, I feel that is much more settling to live in one house and visit the other, which ever way that goes be it living at mum's or dads. And the other is that you just get sick of fighting for it really, my DH fought for 10 years to get more than EOW and all it caused was stress for DH and SS.

I am sure not everyone agrees and I am not saying it's best for everyone, just that is what works best for us. Now with BS2 on the scene, we leave it up to SS11 when he wants to come and BM is almost allowing that also, he usually wants to come 3 weeks out of 4, if BM agree's that is Wink

Catch xx
*The Real Catch 22*

sarahbernheart's picture

Submitted by sarahbernheart on Wed, 01/23/2008 - 7:42am

I do not think I could take every weekend ..We make plans to do our thing the weekends his kids are not with us!! We have them every other week during the summer and sometimes I want to pull my hair OUT!!!! Now that they are getting older, they are sometimes not even with us if they decide to stay with a friend on his weekend. can I hear an amen???

gobbism's picture

Submitted by gobbism on Wed, 01/23/2008 - 7:53am

In Pennsylvania, they encourage joint custody. Only overnight stays count as 'one day'

So we've got 2 nights, wednesday, thursday, one week, 3 nights friday, saturday, sunday, the next. That way BM gets primary physical custody and more child support which makes sense at this point because she hasn't worked in a while.

In between, FH usually sees FSS one night, but brings him back to BM.

We are currently living a 20-30 drive from BM, but are moving in March or April somewhere closer. Haven't found a place yet, but the kid actually lives where I grew up which has good schools and all that.
I think that closer proximity will help a lot.