I don't pry-- my DH asks me to read them. I think it would bother me if he kept them secret.

I don't know the extent of your relationship -- if you live together, wouldn't you have access to the computer anyway? What type of "stupid" things?

My DH actually prints them out for me to read. We also write back responses to BM emails together. That way he does not show anger or emotion in the emails and he stays with the points. We also keep copies of the emails for documentation if we need them later. But that is just our relationship.

Do you have a history of getting upset when you read her emails? Maybe he's just trying to avoid that.

BM and my DH don't email eachother. She doesn't own a computer...actually, she can't even manage to keep her phone service on, but that's a whole other issue. But he tells me everything she says and we discuss it openly.

Not that it happens that often. Sadly for SD, BM only sees her every other weekend, and never once has called in between to talk to SD. Personally, that's fine with me. I just can't imagine being that way....

Totally unacceptable. In my opinion. Why hide them? Let you make the judgement if they are nonsense or not. My fiance did that to me and when i found out what they had said it almost broke us up. Its a secret for a reason i say. I understand that he doesnt want you to get involved and into their mess but it sounds pretty fishy to me. Let yourself make the call whether or not you want to get involved. I think it comes down to respect for your feelings. If you feel that you want to read them then you should. There should be no secrets even if they are nonsense. He shouldnt be engaging in the nonsense if it is really no big deal. There is a reason why he wont let you see them, and its not just because he doesnt want you upset. There should be no secret communication between ex's in my opinion. Everything out in the open so there are no surprises later.

"Just because you can give birth, doesn't mean you should"

BF write of BM in actually snail mail letters, her idea. I help him write them so he sticks to the points and its more like a business transaction than anything else. They cannot talk on the phone. BM brings up stupid stuff from when they were married or seperated like BF would not come over and start the lawn mower for her when she was pregnant.

I would be upset if BF didn't share his communications with BM with me. Together we can cut past the crap and get to the real issue if there really is one.

But I've read enough of them to know that there's never anything in them, except either boring exchange of info or hateful remarks tossed back and forth. I wouldn't care if I didn't see them. For a time, I even had our account set up to forward them immediately out of the inbox and into a separate folder so that I didn't HAVE to look at them and see the ugly things she said about me.

If you don't have any concerns that he wants her back, then I'd be glad to be kept out of it. I don't feel like I have to know every single comment exchanged between my husband and his ex-wife. As long as it doesn't impact me, my life, my family, my marriage, then I don't care. Their conversations are mostly him asking for visitation and her denying it. I can live without reading email after email of that. I am secure in my relationship and I trust him. I don't trust HER, but I know him well enough to know where he stands. The less I hear about her, the better my life is.

In my situation, I know that the only reason my husband might keep something like that from me is to avoid me being upset about some stupid, hateful comment she might make. If it were anything important, he'd share it with me. It's not the fact that he doesn't want you to read them that's troubling. It's WHY he doesn't want you to read them. If you feel comfortable that it's truly because he doesn't want you to be upset, then I'd be okay with that. If you suspect something else, though, you might want to investigate.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

I would have to check it out. And then decide. They better not be flirting or going down memory lane, ya know? Get on there and read them, then make your decision!

If he won't let you do that, there is something fishy going on that you need to know anyway.

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

Honestly, it's pretty much up to you. Georgia said it well. If you think otherwise that there might be another reason besides that he doesn't want you to get upset or whatnot, then follow your instinct and talk to him about it. Just tell him how you feel.

I kind of wish my FH and his ex would e-mail about their issues. But sadly, she uses the phone instead. UGH! But I am sure sooner or later this will change, because she tends to abuse the privilege.

One word = PSYCHO

"For the love of herself, she acknowledged her worth."