personal hygiene issues w/sd anyone??
my sd is 8 years old and up to this day i have to ask her if she cleaned herself after going to the restroom. i also have to remind her to brush her teeth, take a shower, get out of her pijamas every morning when she is with us and do her hair. one time she went for days without taking a shower and her smell was so bad that when she passed by you could smell her. another time we were at the park and she was so busy playing that she waited to the last minute to tell me that she needed to go to the restroom. well she got ahead of me and began running all of a sudden she stops for a minute and i knew that she had not made it but she told me that she was fine. she gets up again and runs to restroom again and when she's done i ask her did you make it on time? and she says yes and was ready to go back to play. but my husband who caught up to us stops her because he knew that she was lying and makes her go to our truck so that we can check ourselves. sure enough she pooped in her pants and was lying about it and did not care that she smelled.luckly i had extra clothes and she changed . two weeks ago my mom came over to help me out with the chores and when she was going to do the laundry she found all sd's underpants with poop on them. my mom had to wash them seperately outside with the hose because they were going to ruin the rest of the clothes if she put them in the laundry machine. my mom had to scrub after all the poop was off with bleach and had a hard time washing those panties.
im pregnant and about to pop anytime soon and its now difficult for me to get up, bend down and do some of the chores of the house and when she is here its more difficult because i have to keep an eye on her while my husband is at work. im not a perfect person but i like my house to be somewhat clean and when sd is here its as if there was a baby at home. lately i've been getting up late and only to find a mess in the house because sd wakes up early. i find cereal on floor and table, milk oustside the fridge, the room a mess, all lights turned on and sd back in bed as if she did nothing.since my husband leaves her personal care to me i don't know what to do anymore because she does not understand even though i teach her. every time she comes to the house its like starting all over again. any advise or similar case?
I think the pooping is a
I think the pooping is a symptom of something more serious than hygiene.
What else is going on w/her? Was she ever fully potty trained? Yikes! I thought the 8 yr old B.O. we had going on at my house was bad.
i've told my husband to talk
i've told my husband to talk to grandparents because she stays with them most of the time. like you said i told my husband to talk to grandparents, bm and sd to find out if something more serious is going on. but every time he does they go around the subject and change it. if i could i would personaly go and get it out of them but i don't think that i have the right to do so. im so confused because i don't know if sd is like this because they do everything for her or if she has a problem. but meanwhile im left with the stress of seeing all this go on with no end.
My SD9 pees the bed all the
My SD9 pees the bed all the time, and has the same problem w/no wiping occassionally (I FORGOT!!!) and not flushing (IT WASNT ME!)
Each time I say something.. I look like a mean person. My DH says.. she is just a kid... (and if we dont correct.. a very dirty kid about to become a dirty adult).
I pray each day that she "learns" to stop wetting the bed before she gets her period. Because I can guarantee.. I WILL NOT be fixing that mess. GROSS.
the period thing is my main
the period thing is my main concern and i dread the time when it comes to her. i can just imagine and it pisses me off that all my furniture will be stained. i sometimes get the same thing that "she is only a kid" then can someone tell me when the freak is the right age to teach someone how to wipe their but?
when she gets her period not only will it be frustrating for my husband because im leaving that mess to him but for her as well when the joke happens to her at school.
frustratedinMA will you be willing to take extra clothes to sd if she ever has an accident at school and you are the only one available???
8 years old is old enough
8 years old is old enough to take care of her own personal hygiene. I had alot of trouble with my SD12 taking care of herself when she was younger. Her BM never taught her to do it, just did everything for her. I had to teach her those things for my own sanity and I took away privelages when they were not done. And yes when she started her period we had a couple of big messes: the toilet, the tub, the sink, her bed, underwear and clothes. I simlply made her clean them up herself and explained how to avoid those problems. And that hiding those messes makes them impossible to clean up.(I had to throw away her favortive pj's because she hid them from me and when I found them a week later I could not get them clean.) She does not do that anymore.
i try to teach sd when she's
i try to teach sd when she's here and i say try because she does not seem to care. but when she goes back to her grandparents where she lives and recently bm moved in( different and long story) they do everything for her so when sd comes back it's like having to start all over again. it's very frustrating and im getting tired of it and my husband most of the time is in lala land and leaves all the evil work to me.... AAAAAAAHH!
Did husband talk to grandparents about hygiene
Did husband talk to grandparents about all hygiene problems or just poop? Maybe grandparents are still thinking of her as a small child and feel they should do all of this for her. Maybe they need to be reminded that child is 8years old not 8 months old. I know all about the " having to start all over again." It took me a long time to get my SD12 to take care of herself, but would you rather deal with the teaching now or just do it yourself for who knows how long? The truth of it is your husband should be helping and backing you up on this. I am the world's worst about just doing what is expected and not speaking up about it.I know how hard it can be to stand up for your self in these situations, but for your own sanity I must suggest that you try. I have just recently realized I create more stress for myself by "screaming silently" and not making someone else help. I hope you find the strength to take care of you first and not let problems that you can't control drive you crazy. Pick your battles and let the rest go as best you can.
Period
My SD12 "had" (notice the word had) a bad habit of not putting on a pad or wearing one the whole day so she would soak through to her panties. When I went to do laundry, I pull out these stained, crusty undies and totally grossed out. I called her into the laundry room and made her rinse them in the sink until the water ran clean and told her I will not be putting up with this SH*T. If you refuse to wear a pad then I refuse to clean it and you can clean them yourself. After she had to rinse her own yucky panties I have not had a problem with it since.
same here with the clothes.
same here with the clothes. sd will wear the same clothes all weekend if i don't tell her otherwise. she has from where to choose because she has a full closet of nice clothes and shoes but she will just wear the same ones and wont change socks or if she does wear socks they are mismatched.
my husband has talked to the grandparents and they say that they have the same problem but i know that they do nothing to fix it. if they would then sd wouldn't be like this. sd is a smart kid its not like she has mental retardation or anything like that. i just don't understand why she is not bothered by her awful smell and dirtyness.
i have a 7 year old niece who wont get out of the house until her hair is done(by herself) before getting out the car she checks that her hair is in place and if not she will fix it first. after she goes to the restroom and if she smells just a bit she will get in the shower by herself even the 2 year old will tell my sister when she has poop.
and you with raging hormones that allow you to smell better
basic psychology 101 , child that wets bed may have physical problem but often issue with parental figure, my BS wet bed for years ,only after he had been to dad's , but this issue with the Bowel movements, ooohhhh, that is ALL hygeine and someone , not very pregnant you needs to step up and take care of it. Does she have problems getting friends ,even 8 year olds, especially 8 year olds will ridicule another child for smelling.Maybe that should be pointed out to overprotecetive whoevers.
"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard
both grandparents and bio
both grandparents and bio mommy don't seem to care. they think that my sd is a happy child the way she is and don't see any problems wiht her. now i don't know if they are fooling themselves or they really believe that sd if fine because sd doesn't really care about her hygiene. im thinking that both grandma and mom are also dirty people and that's why they see my sd's behavior as normal. what else could it be???
We have issues
SD 15 almost 16 will go days without showering or brushing her teeth. SS does not bathe at all or brush his teeth unless we force it. SS was not potty trained until he was 5 and was pooping and peeing his pants until recently, he is 11. He still pees his pants and does not wpe himself at all. When I am doing laundry and I see it, I take his underwear and put it in a bag and give it to DH to give back to mom. It never makes it though. I feel like she wants the kids all the time, she should take the time to teach them out to be clean people. It totally grosses me out.
OMG!
i really hope my sd learns how to clean herself before she gets to old. im gonna have to do what you do and send her dirty underwear to mommy cause she is the only one responsible. yesterday i told my sd to take a shower like always cause she won't do it by herself and when she got out i began to do her hair i smelled her head and it smelled dirty! what in the world was she doing in there because she came out just as dirty as when she got out. she's 8 years old does that mean that we should still be helping her with the shower and other cleaning routines? how long does it take for a child to learn how to be clean on their own?