Christmas
I'm not sure what to do. Court orders say that my 13 year old stepdaughter is supposed to be with us for Christmas and we are to return her home at 6 pm on Christmas day. This will ruin my families Christmas. First of all, she ruins everything. I refuse to buy her anything anymore because all she has done in the past is act like an ungrateful little witch. This is my babies first Christmas and the first Christmas EVER that I get to keep my 8 year old son for the WHOLE holiday. Last year I didn't get to see him at all because of a stupid custody battle. We were planning on traveling to my families home for the holiday which is about 8 hours away but we can't do that if we have her because we have to return her to her mother on Christmas day. I really don't want our Christmas to be ruined. She already partially ruined my birthday in October. She was angry that her dad was taking me somewhere for my birthday so she called him while we were supposed to be having a good time and started an arguement with him which put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day. She tells him things like "don't call me because I actually don't even like you" and when he repremands her for this she says "I can't believe I'm getting in trouble for expressing my feelings." I need some advice on how not to let our Christmas get ruined. My husband already e-mailed her mother and told her that instead of exchanging gifts this year we were donating money to charity. Since she's such a spoiled brat I was hoping that she would cancel her visitation but she hasn't yet. It wouldn't suprise me if her mother doesn't relay the message though, she knows that she ruins things and causes my husband and I to fight so she pushes her on us. She even tried to get my husband to take her on my birthday trip with us. What do I do?
She is 13. BM is one of the
She is 13. BM is one of the most ignorant vindictive people that I have ever met. If we told her about the inconvenience then she would push for it more. We tried to trade summer visitation times with her this past year because I had my baby on May 30 and we had to pick her up on June 10. I wasn't up to babysitting her (she's extremely high maintenance) while my husband was at work and her mother absolutely refused and made a big deal saying that she would take him back to court for forgeiting his visitation.
He sticks his head in the
He sticks his head in the sand half the time. He not as invested as I am however he did state that he doesn't want her around for Christmas. He said that maybe he should call her and tell her that she should stay with her mom this year. The only thing wrong with that is biological mom is waiting for any reason to take him back to court for more child support so he needs to look like the "good guy". The S/D has canceled all of her visitations since this summer accept for one that my husband canceled because he had knee surgery so B/M feels that she is entitled to more money because the visitation time has decreased. It's a big stupid game.
Thank you! I think I'll
Thank you! I think I'll suggest that my husband just cancel. We don't have to give a reason. I think I'd rather pay more money and not see the little witch ever again anyways : )
Put the ball in their court....
Tell her these are our plans for xmas we would love to include you (sd) but someone has to make some choices. Don't just go straight to the mom and give the mom a chance to tell the sd " dad doesn't really want you going," he cares about his new family more.... blah blah blah you know. Tell her it is impossible to travel like that so either the sd can come with you and stay xtra days w mom later or the mom can meet you half way and share transportation. We have huge issues with that. Make it be the bm that says the sd can't go. Not that you don't want to because it's an inconvinience to you. If she has to be inconvinienced then she won't want the little girl to go. We started doing this with my sd. Telling her exactly what we were asking the mom , so she wasn't led to believe her dad didn't care if he spent time with her. It's a never ending battle and this is always the worst time of year. Isn't it ironic? Not this year , I have quit stressing I'm having my family xmas and if the sd is there fine if not well her loss she will figure it out one day.