Husband just doesn't get it
I am so frustrated right now! My husband has a 14-year-old daughter, and together we have 4-year-old and 1-year-old daughters. My problem is that my husband totally neglects the two younger ones in favor of the older one. He seems to think that because I am there for OUR children, he doesn't need to be.
Last night was the latest in an endless string of examples. 4 year old has dance class one night a week. Husband did not show up. Driving home, I passed him and he was taking 14 year old shopping with a friend. I was so pissed! All innocent, he wanted to know why I was mad. I just drove home. Then he called me from shopping. Claimed he "forgot" about dance class. But then said he didn't want to go because he was "all sore" from his dentist visit. I said it was amazing that he was too sore to come to dance class but not too sore to take SD shopping.
Anyway, I'm mad and he's mad at me for being mad. Mostly I am disappointed for my 4 year old, who doesn't understand what is going on but should have her father's support. Our pastor said he acts like SD is his primary child and our children are his secondary children. Husband didn't like to hear this, but it's the truth! Even then he doesn't change his behavior. I am beyond frustrated at this point.
I think you need
to get him to counseling. But then again, if he didn't listen to the pastor, he probably won't listen to a counselor either. I really don't have any advice for you other than counseling. My ex suggest we seek counseling as a family, but after 3 visits and when the counselor started pointing his finger at ex, that was the end of our family counseling. Hopefully if you can get your DH to go with you, he won't do the same. If he won't go, maybe you should go by yourself and a counselor can give you some suggestions to try with your DH to try and open his eyes and see what he is doing to his own children. As usualy your DH is probably feeling guilty, because his daughter doesn't have 2 parents together, and feels that your 2 kids together have the 2 of you. It goes back to the whole 'divorce guilt' thing that most of these dad have.
Good luck!
If I was you, I would tell
If I was you, I would tell my husband straight out what I feel about the situation. If he doesn't think there's anything wrong then move on. Keep doing stuffs with your kids and never mind your husband being involved..... why stress yourself. The children are smart they'll notice in time that daddy doesn't get involve with them. They'll start ignoring your husband & pay attention to you. Your husband will learn his lesson & maybe change his ways.
-happy mom